I truly hope this message finds you in good spirits and looking forward to the New Year!
I keep thinking about something my mentor said, “let people see the real you”!
I have been going over that statement in my head since he said it. He also told me not to focus on me but to focus on what’s important to me.
The thing that’s important to me is to love and be loved unconditionally and to feel secure. I want security in my life. Nothing is for sure but to me security means that I can pay my bills on time and in full every month. That I live in a place (home, apartment, etc.) where I wake up every morning to the sights and sounds of things I have picked out to surround myself with. This includes my furniture, my books, my kitchen, my cookware, a clean place to live, a place to sit and read while I enjoy a cup of tea – all of these things are very important to me. These are the things I worked so hard for and yet walked away from not once but twice because the experience of living with someone who is unhappy with the person they see in the mirror is unacceptable to me. Life is too short to spend it with unhappy people.
Unconditional love means that we love ourselves so much, we would never consider staying with someone who doesn’t love us back, unconditionally. For me the thought of being with a man who will love me for who I am instead of who he needs me to be so that he can feel better about himself is unacceptable. If you don’t like yourself when you’re by yourself, you’re counting on others to make you happy. I may or may not find someone who fits that criteria but I do know that I love myself enough to want unconditional love and security – so it’s time to embrace the possibilities!
Letting go: When I gave myself permission to stop making sure I was giving everyone else what they need, every thought then turned to, “what do I want?”
I want things that make me happy and the things that make me happy are living in my own place, my own things about me, a peaceful atmosphere in my home, a place to invite friends and family over for a meal, a real bed to sleep in, a steady flow of income, to teach, to coach, to speak to audiences, to feel loved, to have my own things about me, financial security, be around the Italian culture, intimacy, clothes, shoes, purses, to go to the grocery store without a budget, to walk on the beach, to exercise, to listen to my music, to dance, to cook, to feel the sunshine streaming through the windows in my home, to grow my own flowers and vegetables, to laugh, to be playful, snuggling, visiting with my family, reciprocity, to be around positive happy people, to feel the connection to Spirit every day, to date, to meet new people and have stimulating and intellectual conversations with them, hugs, meals outside, window shopping, massages, Martial Arts, listening to 50’s music, watching action movies, learning something new every day and to apply that knowledge somewhere in my life, to eat healthy food, driving a clean car, and most of all – being loud and proud about who I am!
All of these things that make me happy are who I am will never again be put on hold! Never again will I allow myself to be “less than” so that someone else can feel better about themselves!
My wish for you this New Year’s Eve is that you are appreciating the caring, loving person that you are in an effort to put your concerns and doubts into a perspective of unconditional love for yourself. It’s so easy to want to slide into victim mode when things aren’t going the way we planned in our life.
When I walked into the courthouse to file for my 2nd divorce, I never thought I would find myself in that situation again, I doubted my decision because the fear of the unknown was huge and I realized that not one person in the room cared about how I was feeling. It’s their job to move people through the system, to stay emotionally detached and to make sure all the forms are filled out correctly. They don’t care that you’re losing everything you worked for, they don’t care that you’re hurting, they don’t care that you’re going through a period of low self-worth - they can’t care because it would keep them from doing their job. I knew it wasn’t personal but it sure felt personal to me. In the end, it wasn’t about losing the material things, it was about drawing on the unconditional love I have for myself to have EVERYTHING I want in a relationship or no relationship at all. No more walking around on eggshells because you don’t know what kind of mood the other person is in.
Enough of that – life is too short to be moody!!
Anyway, I want you to know that I am thinking of you, that I truly hope this evening will be about celebrating the New Year and your New Beginning. Our life only sucks if we let it suck!
Nancy Mueller ~ The Empowerment Sensei of Possibilities!