If I ask you to think about a diamond ring, a pearl ring, an amethyst ring and a sapphire ring, and then I ask you which ring doesn’t belong in with this group of rings, which ring would you choose?
The answer is; they all belong in this group; they are all rings.
Sometimes people feel like they don’t belong, or they don’t fit in.
Have you ever felt like you just don’t fit in? Maybe you’ve always felt that way or maybe something has happened in your life and you simply don’t feel part of the crowd you thought would be your friends for life.
When the time comes to let go of relationships that no longer serve us, it’s often easier to tell ourselves, “we did something wrong. We don’t fit in. We must have made a mistake. We must have said or done something that has completely alienated us from the people we always thought would be there for us.”
If you are one of those people who believes there is something wrong with you because, “you no longer want to be part of the old gang, you don’t fit in at social gatherings, you can’t listen to one more conversation about the same old topics or you’re feeling unwanted; here’s your wake-up call.
Are you ready to wake up?
Warning: as you begin to wake up, you might feel fear, anxiety, guilt, lost, depressed, adrift, alienated, or even wrong.
The good news is, when a previous way of life is no longer comfortable for you, this means you are actually moving forward in your life. You are actually starting to live your life for YOU instead of living it for someone else.
You are feeling this way because you are doing something different. You are stepping outside of what you’ve always known your life to be and into unfamiliar territory. This is where the fear sets in, this is where fear tells you that you did something wrong, you don’t fit in, you made a mistake, or you owe someone an apology.
It’s time to stop apologizing for wanting to live your life in the most amazing way possible. It’s time to stop apologizing because you don’t fit in. It’s time to stop apologizing; PERIOD!
Isn’t it time you started to live your life instead of letting it pass you by while you remain a prisoner to your old beliefs, relationships and choices?
When was the last time you did something you’ve never done before? If you keep yourself tied to old habits, friends, choices, beliefs and locations, if you never try something new because you’re always waiting for permission from someone, you are choosing to let your life pass you by because you are choosing to live it according to another person’s opinion or beliefs about you.
When everyone else is wearing black, this is your opportunity to wear red and stand out from the crowd. Be the leader in your own life – dare to be the brightest light in the room. Stop letting the beliefs of others determine your own beliefs.
The only way you are going to live your life to the fullest is to be in charge of your choices. Stop letting life pass you by because you choose to give in to fear based beliefs. If you don’t take charge of your life, someone else will!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Empowerment Sensei
How do you identify yourself: son, daughter, oldest, youngest, middle child?
Perhaps you see yourself as a wife, father, husband, mother, girlfriend, lover, boyfriend, boss, employee, successes, a failure, career oriented, married, divorced, single, widowed, leader, shy, extroverted, introverted, happy, sad, fulfilled, unfulfilled, disabled, athletic, abused child, or someone who has been dumped on one too many times in your life.
Regardless of how you see yourself (your identity) there is a story you tell yourself (your belief) about why you believe it to be true.
Your story is running your life.
What happens when your beliefs about who you are, what you believe makes you "you" is put to the test. What happens when the story you've told yourself about who you are causes you to doubt who you are meant to be?
Divorce can cause you to doubt who you are as a person, parent, grandparent, member of society and who you are going forward.
Job loss can cause you to doubt your value in society and how you are viewed by your friends and family.
Financial stress can cause you to doubt your security, your future and your ability to care for yourself and your family.
Mental, physical or emotional health challenges can cause you to doubt your ability to function in a world that may not understand your challenges.
So who are you? You are not your job, your marital status, your financial status or your level of health. You ARE who you tell yourself you are, based on the beliefs you've created within your own mind.
Your beliefs create your story and that story is what you tell yourself and others, over and over and over and over.
What story do you tell yourself every morning when you wake up? Does your story limit you to what you believe you are capable of achieving or does it empower you to do more, climb higher and dream bigger?
When you finally get to a point where you're able to let go of the negative energy around how you tell “your story”, everything changes. The problem with change is, change is often accompanied by fear and fear can rise up inside you and invade your thoughts like a smoke-filled room invades your lungs.
The first step to letting go of your story is to face the fear of who you are without it! Fear would have us believe that if you let go of your story, you will experience a loss of identity and that loss includes questions such as, “if I’m not that person, who am I?”
You can tell when your story is holding you back, because you may ask yourself questions such as, “if I can’t keep telling my story, how will people know how much I've struggled to get where I am and why I deserve to be here?” (this can be an indication of how you value your "self"). You may also believe that it is impossible to change your current situation so you will use your story as proof of why you are going through current challenges or struggles.
Your story matters but the energy with which you tell it will either cause you to continue to struggle or set you free.
If you’re still hurt, angry, remorseful, feeling guilty, ashamed, feeling vengeful or still in “victim mode” you may be sharing your story in a way that is causing you to look to others to validate your negative feelings and emotions.
Believing that your greatest achievement comes from the experiences you've had or overcome is actually fear trying to get you to believe you will never be anything more than you currently are, or, the sum of your past experiences.
Fear would have us believe that we are nothing special and that struggle is a natural way of life. Fear causes our self-worth to agree to play small so as not to bring attention to the gifts and talents that reside within us. Fear would have us believe that we are inconsequential rather than the super being we were born to be.
When you can share your story and it comes from a place deep within you that is based on beliefs of your own empowerment, the negative energy around your story will lose it's power over you.
You have the power to change your negative feelings into positive feelings - you have the power to change your story, change your energy and change how you show up in the world. You can do this by letting go of your story; that belief that you've been holding onto for so long that you don't even realize it's running your life. Pay attention to the words you choose and the energy behind your words. Are you using words such as; "can't, won't try, maybe, if, who am I, some day, because, but, if only?" These words are disempowering and are associated with negative energy that has the power to keep you on a hamster wheel of self-doubt and affects your belief about who you deserve to be.
When you believe you are here to struggle, or that there is a struggle you must overcome before you can start living the life you long for, you are actually creating low self-worth. Low self-worth emits an energy frequency that attracts other low levels of “SELF” such as low self-love, self-image, self-wealth, self-health. You may find yourself hanging around others who also have low levels of self-worth because this gives you the ability to commiserate with others who feel the same way and who will never encourage you to let go of your story .
When you’re ready to increase your levels of “SELF” be ready to let go of your story and experience who you were born to be!
Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei
My path to become a coach, author, mentor and speaker became clear when I was a student, competitor and teacher of the Martial Arts;, the longer I studied, I began to understand the philosophies behind the Martial Arts and I soon realized that my mind was my most powerful weapon.
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SENSEI: (sen - say) teacher; Sen means "before" and Sei means "born." The literal meaning of the Japanese word is "one who is born before"; thus, the one who is born before you is your teacher. This refers less to chronological age (some of my teachers have been young enough to be my children) than to the teacher's wisdom: In spiritual terms he or she is my elder, and thus my teacher.
My Mission: to have daily conversations that motivate, inspire and empower myself and others.