I am sharing this information at the request of one of my clients who had a tremendous breakthrough in one of our Empowerment Sessions. This breakthrough has been life changing for her and she feels it’s a message that every woman should know. In order to keep her name confidential I have changed her name as she has asked me to share this message for her.
My client, (we will call her Betty) has had a secret buried inside of her for thirty years.
During one of our recent Empowerment Sessions Betty said she wanted to tell me something she has never told another person; thirty years ago she was raped during a home invasion robbery.
Betty had a dog door and forgot to lock it one evening; this is how the intruder got into her home. As she saw him standing there, she said there was no doubt that he was going to rape her and then kill her. She made a deal with him, she told him that she would consent to the rape if he didn’t kill her. He agreed. He raped her, he left and she called the police.
At the hospital, one of the nursing staff asked her how the man got into her home. She told her that she forgot to lock the dog door; the staff member then said, “I bet you won’t make that mistake again.” Betty felt responsible because she left the door unlocked.
The police and other staff members started to question her; she told them she made a bargain with him by consenting to the rape if he would not kill her. They said, “Then it can’t be rape, because you consented.”
Life Is All About Choices and that day Betty made a choice. She chose to live instead of die. The man also made a choice, he chose to invade her home with the intent to rape and kill her. Whenever a woman chooses life over death; that can never be the wrong choice.
For thirty years Betty carried the guilt of this event around with her and for thirty years the pain of her decision manifested in her everyday life. Betty finally understands that she made the right choice; she chose life!
It is so important for every single girl and woman to understand that her past does not define her. Whatever has happened in the past does not define who you are in the present but it can dictate who you are in the future if you allow the event to keep you in victim mode.
When a woman lives in victim mode she chooses to allow the past event or trauma to diminish her levels of “SELF” ~ Self-Image, Self-Awareness, Self-Esteem & Self-Love. This is difficult for a woman to accept because the automatic response is, “I am not allowing this.” But until a woman is ready to say, “I will no longer allow what happened in the past to define my levels of “SELF” and discover her truth so that she can speak her truth, she will remain in victim mode. Once a woman finds and speaks her truth, she will be set free and begins to be empowered on all levels of “SELF”.
I encourage every single woman and girl to hear these words, “You are a gift. You matter. You are a bright shining star and you deserve to shine your light so bright that people will have to wear sunglasses just to be in your presence. The time has come for all women to understand that the past will only define you if you make a choice to allow it to define you.”
I am not the first to say this and I believe it with all of my heart, “It’s not what happens to us that matters, it’s what we do with what happens to us.” Once you make the choice to find your truth and speak your truth the event that had you fearful of speaking up will no longer hold power over you.
Every woman deserves to live a guilt free life and every day is an opportunity for a new beginning. You may not have a choice about the event itself but you do have choice about whether or not the event will empower or disempower you.
Life Is All About Choices ~ Choose To Be Empowered!
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei for Women & Girls
Every woman has a younger version of herself who is always with her. There may be days when her younger version shows up at the most unexpected time to entice the woman into abandoning the cultural etiquettes of adulthood but for the most part, her younger self remains silent in the background.
Although she is silent, she is always available to inflict her beliefs on the woman’s adult self. Therein lies the conflict!
As children, we learn how to cope in our childhood world. We cry to get attention, we smile to get compliments, we get good grades to make our parents proud of us and the list goes on and on. Most adults think nothing of this childhood behavior because they are too busy “teaching” the children.
How do parents teach? They teach the same way they were taught. Family traditions are passed down from one generation to another and we never think to question these traditions. Family meals, holidays, religious beliefs, relationships, health choices, careers, work ethics, and even sex are taught to children with the same overtones that were taught to their parents.
These become our beliefs.
Understanding where our beliefs originate is the key to unlocking the limiting beliefs that hold us back as adults. Knowing that our beliefs originated as children and were accepted or not accepted based on the limited knowledge and life experience that children have, is it any wonder why these same beliefs no longer serve our adult self.
Everything a child sees, hears or experiences is taken is as a truth (the stove is hot, candy is good, don’t talk back, don’t ask for things, be polite, help the needy, go to college, jobs are hard to come by so when you find one be sure to work hard and stick with it until you can retire and enjoy your life). When you have years of conditioned teachings, is it any wonder that these teachings become subconscious beliefs?
So when your adult self is making decisions based on the child self, is it any wonder that the adult self can have challenges and not understand why life isn’t going the way they desire?
When the adult self is having relationship problems but her truth about relationships is based on what she absorbed as a child, it is easy to see why these relationship issues seem nearly impossible to overcome.
Wherever you are feeling the most challenged in your life, stop and ask yourself, “What is my TRUTH about the decision(s) I am currently making?” Once you have established what you believe your truth to be, the next question to ask yourself is, “Is this true, or is this what I have always believed to be true and I never thought to question it?” Knowing that your younger self will encourage you to continue believing what you have always believed, you now have the opportunity to see your beliefs for what they are: simply a child’s view of how the world works.
Once you give yourself permission to examine what you’ve always believed to be true, you open a door to new possibilities for every challenge you face.
Although your younger self is always with you (in the form of your memories and how you perceive the world) you have a choice of how much she will influence your adult self.
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei for Women
All Adversity Business Challenge Eating Fitness Forgiveness Goals Habit Happiness Happy Health Hero Hollywood Jack Canfield Life Magic Marriage Martial Money Power Responsibility Self Strength Tour Wealth Weight Loss Women