The other day I was having lunch at one of my local restaurants and I was REALLY hungry (I had waited too long to eat). I sat down and when the server came to take my drink order, I ordered my drink and my meal. I asked for a BBQ Burger, no bacon and substitute a veggie burger for the meat. At least.... that's what I meant to say because I don't eat meat. When the sandwich arrived, it came with the veggie burger but also had bacon on top. I corrected the guy that brought it to the table and told him there was a mistake, I don't eat meat. My server came over to me and asked me if I wanted them to prepare it again. I said, “Yes, because I don't want them just pulling the bacon off the sandwich because I don’t eat meat.”
While I was waiting for them to bring my order, I started thinking about what I might have said when I placed my order. Perhaps I forgot to tell her "no bacon" because after all, I have ordered that sandwich many times before and they always seem to get my order right! I also knew how hungry I was and that my concentration may have been off because I was also responding to emails on my phone when I placed my order! When she brought my sandwich to me, I apologized and said, "I am so sorry if I forgot to tell you, no bacon. I must have thought it in my head but didn't say it out loud and I believe the mistake was all mine.”
The server looked at me and suddenly broke out into a huge smile and she said, “You know, some of us in the kitchen were just talking about when customers make mistakes on their orders and a lot of us have decided that it happens when people are hungry. But usually people get angry when the order is wrong and I really appreciate you being so patient and understanding.”
I thought this situation was a great example of how people often blame others without stopping to think about how they may have blamed someone else for their own mistake.
We can all be a lot less judgmental and a lot more understanding to how we react in any given situation. My server was concerned about giving me quality service because it’s her job and she believes her tip will depend on how I view her service. I had a choice, I could blame the extra wait for my food on the server, the kitchen staff or the restaurant or I could take 100% responsibility for my actions and make the whole situation as pleasant as possible.
I tipped her more than normal, asked to see the manager, told him that I had awesome service and I truly appreciated how his staff took care of me, and then made the manager promise that he would praise my server before the end of her shift.
Let’s all work on treating others as we ourselves would like to be treated!
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei for Women
On June 3, 2016, my brother made a choice that impacted hundreds of people; he chose to ride his motorcycle. You may wonder how that single choice could have an impact on hundreds of people and the fact is, it’s actually what happened during that particular ride that has had such an impact.
We often think that we have control over our lives and the lives of others but the truth is, the only thing we have control over are the thoughts we think and the choices we make.
Mothers can often be heard to tell their children, “be careful” and as much as we would like to think that we are doing our motherly duty, it’s ultimately up to the child whether he or she will heed those words.
How often have you or someone you know said, “Call me when you get there so I know you arrived safely”? What happens if the person forgets to call? Do we then pace the floor wondering if he or she arrived safely, assume they did arrive safely and simply forgot to call, imagine the worst case scenario and picture them in an accident, or worse, assume that he or she just doesn’t care enough to call?
Life is much the same way, we can choose to make decisions based on our lifelong beliefs and remain inside our circle of knowing (what I refer to as “The Known Zone”) or we can discover ways to step outside of our Known Zone and begin to live the life we are meant to live.
So, what is holding you back? What is keeping you in your Known Zone and preventing you from living your life on purpose?
Please allow me to share the most common answers to that question:
We become what we think about the most and if you have low levels of “SELF” is it any wonder why your results match your thoughts? What if you were to make new choices with the thoughts you think and turn your excuses into positive affirmations?
Life is full of twists and turns and you can choose to stay on the sidelines or get into the game. Whatever you choose to do, it’s your choice.
My brother has always told me that “life is all about the ride” and he loved to ride his motorcycle any chance he got. Rain, snow, heat or traffic could never keep my brother from riding. His love for riding gradually led him to find a group of other people who live to ride and they are members of the Second Brigade Motorcycle Club of Ohio. These men are Veterans and supporters of Veterans whose mission it is to support their members in whatever way possible. My brother is the president of this chapter and there are hundreds of men who would lay down their life for my brother; I know this because I witnessed it first hand on June 3, 2016 when I met them for the first time where they have been keeping vigil over my brother and his wife while my brother fights to return to us.
That week the hospital waiting room was full of men and women in black leather surrounding my brother and our family like a protective blanket. We were all given an opportunity to dispel stereotypical judgments based on a person’s clothing and what they drive (ride) because it was evident that we were all there because each of us had the same thing in common; love for my brother.
As my brother made a choice, like so many times before, to ride his motorcycle. He was living outside his Known Zone and living his life the way he loved to live. That night, on June 3, 2016, a dark country road lay waiting for my brother and his bike. As the road separated my brother from his bike, members of the motorcycle club told us that my brother chose to fight hard to keep his bike beneath him but lost that fight. And now, we wait.
As much as I long to sit across the dinner table from my brother and hear him laugh as we reminisce about childhood memories, I know that choice is ultimately up to my brother. His road to recovery has been miraculous, harrowing, emotional, frightening, and full of love, especially Self-Love. He has known what he loved to do the most and has never allowed anything to keep him from doing it, it was all about The Ride! My brother is so loved by so many people and there are so many friends and family members that are doing their part during this waiting period. Who among us can boast to having this many people standing beside us during difficult moments in our life?
We are waiting for my brother to come back to us and be the leader, father, brother, son, and positive influence that he was born to be. My brother’s choice has brought so many people together in ways that would not otherwise have been possible. It’s times like these when people truly understand how each of our lives are woven into a tapestry of the lives of others and yet each of us has control over only two things; the thoughts we think and the choices we make.
My brother lives to ride and that is a thought that I hold onto during his journey to recovery.
What do you live for?
Remember: Life Is All About Choices ~ you can choose to stay within your Known Zone or you can push the boundaries of your beliefs and live your life your way. It’s your choice!
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei for Women
I was recently asked this question, “what do I need” and as I thought about it, I realized that what I want, what I REALLY want, is to find the women who are searching for their truth.
Women who are searching for their truth ask themselves questions like, “Why am I here? Do I have a purpose in this life? How can I feel a higher sense of Self-Confidence, Self-Image, Self-Worth, Self-Esteem and Self-Love? What would it be like to wake up every morning to my J.O.B. (Jump Outta Bed)?
You may be wondering why I am looking for these women. I am looking for these women because I have been where they are. I have lived through feeling like a victim, wondering why I was born, feeling low self-worth, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, negative self-image and I didn’t even know the meaning of self-love!
But now, I have come out on the other side of those feelings and the work that I have done to get here was worth every heartache, every setback, every class, seminar, teacher, coach, mentor, experience, because all the while I felt like good things only happen to others, never to me.
The secret to coming out on the other side was finally understanding that I have the power to create the life I want. But the only way I could finally believe that was to also understand that I also had the power to create everything I didn’t want and all of those things I didn’t want were what had me feeling so disempowered in my own life that I found it difficult to believe there could be a way out.
We all have a story, the words we use day after day become our story. I’m a victim, I’m not worthy, I’m poor, I’m unlovable, I have no value. These words and others like them are spoken by women from childhood on and as we learn to string these negative words with other negative words, events and feelings, we create a story about who we are. But the truth is, it’s just a story and there is a way for us to change our story so that we create a life that is meaningful, hopeful, joyful, prosperous, fulfilled, empowered, rested, secure, healthy, happy, guilt-free, valued and loved.
Is it any wonder why I am looking for women who are also searching for their truth? Because now that I have discovered my truth and learned that those negative words that I thought were my story, were holding me back from living the life I longed for, now that I have freed myself from that old story that I thought was my truth, I am teaching other women how they can also find and speak their truth. How can I possibly keep this a secret? I want every woman to feel as free and joyful as I do and yet, I find there are so many women who are not yet ready to seek their truth. I also know, from my own experience, that it’s ok if someone is not ready. We all must walk our journey according to our own wants and desires. We will all arrive at our truth when we are ready.
That’s why, I am looking for the women who ARE ready to search for their truth. I am looking for the women who have realized that the fear of moving forward is less than the pain of staying where they are. I am putting it out to the Universe that these women find me and let me show them the way! I promise that this is a journey worth taking; forever and ever!
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei for Women
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