The honest truth is, I didn’t get to be The Empowerment Sensei because I always knew this is who I wanted to be.
Another truth is, I never believed I would “BE” anything!
The journey from nonbelief to Empowerment Sensei was full of highs, lows, triumphs, pitfalls, hurts, and self-doubt. But the way, The Way to becoming the Empowerment Sensei now that’s a story worth telling!
I believed if I did everything the opposite of what my own mother did, I would be the perfect mother; I wrong!
I believed I was in control of my life; I wrong!
I believed that it didn’t matter that my husband didn’t love and honor me the way a husband should love and honor a wife because I was willing to be strong enough for both of us; I wrong!
I believed that “if you build it, they will come”; I wrong!
I believed I was a victim of my childhood traumas; I wrong!
I believed I had no self-worth, and I am so happy that I was wrong about that belief!
Do you ever stop to ask yourself where your beliefs come from? Every choice we make is based on what we believe the best outcome will be, based on what we believe to be true.
Everything we believe begins during the first 8 years of our life. Our parents or caregivers taught us right from wrong, good from bad, safe from unsafe and the list goes on and on. But who taught them? Like a family tradition or urban legend that is handed down generation after generation, very rarely do we question where these beliefs come from. And yet, we take these beliefs with us into adulthood and, as adults, we are still making choices based on concepts, ideas, experiences and the beliefs of others that we never think to question.
Until life hits us over the head! Death, divorce, taxes, relationships, careers and even our health are all topics we don’t give much thought to because as adults, “we just know” how it all works. We know how it all works until it stops working the way we believe it should, and then we’re faced with a choice – ignore what is continually surfacing in our life by not dealing with it or covering it up with one or more addictions (retail therapy, “I’m too busy right now”, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, food, career – the list of things to help us avoid dealing with life can be endless!).
If we never give ourselves permission to question where our beliefs come from, how can we possibly grow beyond the truths we acquired during our childhood years? Essentially, we’re making adult decisions based on childhood thoughts and beliefs.
How crazy is that?
When you’re ready to question your beliefs, The Way can be confusing. How could it not be confusing when you start to question everything you believe? You mean I do have self-worth? You mean I really don’t have to stay in a toxic marriage? You mean that life doesn’t have to be hard? Like an avalanche of snow falling down the mountain, your questions will invade every open minute of your day. You will fall asleep with questions, wake up with questions and move through your day with questions; it can be maddening because the only answers are the answers you believe to be true!
Unless you’re willing to be wrong! When you give yourself permission to question your beliefs, you are willing to be wrong (not really, but it will seem that way) and then the journey begins.
What if you walk through your day and start paying attention to what you believe? Start living a conscious existence rather than living an unconscious life. The next time you hear yourself say, “I don’t like cream in my coffee” you can ask yourself, where does that belief come from? When you are satisfied that your belief is something that is absolute truth, you will then start to ask some of the deep-seated beliefs such as, “there never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done!”
Are you beginning to see how this works? I call it “opposite thinking” – the willingness to be wrong so you can look at your life from a different perspective. Life is all about choices my friend and you can choose to live within your current belief system or you can be willing to be wrong! Whichever way you choose, both choices are yours to make but one choice is The Way to embracing the warrior within because this is where you will tap into your Inner Strength and embrace the gift of how wonderful being wrong can be!
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei
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