The morning started out like any other but the choice I was making will forever change the course of my life. I waited in line to be handed my ticket just like I do at the post office; the only difference was, this time I was waiting in line to begin divorce proceedings instead of waiting to mail a package.
As I stood in line, waiting for my turn, I thought about my drive to the courthouse, parking my car, walking through security, searching for the floor where Family Court is held and wondering what all the other people standing in line with me were dealing with. No one looks into the eyes of another person, there is no talking, heads are bowed low and you wonder what others, standing in line with you are thinking.
When I finally reached the window, the bored employee behind the bullet proof glass began to look over my paperwork. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened in this room to warrant bullet proof glass! After determining that my paperwork was in order, I was informed that he cost to file would be $450; why is filing for divorce so much more expensive than a marriage license?
I kept reminding myself to BREATHE and remembering to hold on to the light at the end of the tunnel because I know it is the key to getting through this.
The clerk barely looks you in the eye, he sees this type of situation every day that he reports to work. His job is to move people through the line, not to give reassurance. He hands me my ticket, mumbles something about waiting for my number to be called and is already beginning to do the same for the person in line behind me.
As I sit there, waiting for my ticket number to be called, I keep reminding myself of what a good person I am. I have made this decision because I know it is what is best for me and I must remember that if I am going to get through this I must continue to believe in myself and love myself. I brought a book to read during my wait but I am unable to concentrate. My thoughts keep drifting back to my wedding day and how I thought it would be my "happily ever after!" As I reminisce about that day, my thoughts are brought back to why I have made this decision and I realize that the love and happiness in my life comes from within and not because of someone else. I know that I have the Inner Strength to grow from this experience just as I have grown from past experiences in my life. The "positive" that is within me begins to swell within my heart until it reaches my mind and puts a smile on my face.
I believe that divorce can be viewed as opportunity or sadness but if you remember that every ending is an opportunity for a New Beginning you begin to realize that you absolutely have choices in your life!
You made the choice to say, "I Do" and now you are making the choice to say, "I Don't Any More" so what is your next step towards your New Beginning?
Think of this journey as a staircase, success will come from being willing to take the next step.
Step #1 ~ Your Health: Have you neglected yourself in this area and if so, what one step will you commit to doing to improve your health? You are the most important person in your life and you owe yourself the power of a healthy body. What negative habits have you fallen into that you will want to change on this journey to the top?
Step #2 ~ Your "SELF": Keep in mind that your life is all about YOU now so what one step will you commit to doing to be kind and loving to yourself? When was the last time you took time for yourself or put YOU first on your To Do List? Your playing small does not serve the world. What habits will you change to show you and the world that you matter and that, moving forward, every choice you make will be out of love for your "self." How can you expect love and respect from others if you don't know how to give it to yourself first? Make a choice right now to say "I LOVE ME" and all of my decisions will be made for my highest good. If you need help getting started, CLICK HERE and begin with the I Love Me journal.
Step #3 ~ Your Wealth: It is time to look at the gifts that you possess and live your passion. What are you most passionate about? How can you create a career living your passion and sharing your talents and gifts with the world? Now that you are ready to be self-preserving by putting your needs and wants first, what does that look like for your career?
In all 3 of these areas, make a list of what is working for you and what is not working for you. Many people want to bring about positive changes in their lives but aren't sure where to start. Too many people concentrate on what they DON'T want instead of what they DO want. What will it take to give you the Courage, Confidence and Confirmation that you can DO, BE or HAVE anything you desire? If you aren't sure where to start, CLICK HERE and listen to any of the archived interviews. These women are sharing concepts and philosophies that could be the key to empower you to take your next step. Have you thought about what LOVING yourself really means? CLICK HERE to understand why this is so important and can actually help you run up those steps towards your goal.
Here is the most important thing to remember as you walk your journey through divorce, surround yourself with people who inspire you and who will encourage you to NEVER GIVE UP! Stay away from friends and family members who want to sit and commiserate with you for they are not helping you move forward.
People you thought were so supportive in the past will seem to drift out of your life but this is more about them and their choices than about you. Knowing this will hopefully encourage you to seek new opportunities for friendships and mentors. Remember, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHOICES... you can choose to stay in bed under the covers or you can choose to Party Like Purple every day and put some life in your living. BREATHE and always look for the light at the end of the tunnel.
Speaker, Author, Life Coach, Radio Show Host at Life's About Choices Radio on iHeart internet radio
You found your perfect soul mate, you planned the for the big day, you said "I Do" in front of all your friends and family members and have settled down for "Happily Ever After."
Goals and your future success are fun to think about, but seldom do we think about death, divorce, job loss, sickness, or accidents that you never saw coming.
Q: When do you think about money most often?
A: "When you are experiencing a lack of money!"
Even the best of relationships can be put to the test when something happens to the major stream of income in your life. If your major stream of income depends on another person, when will you give yourself permission to create financial independence in your life so that you are able to support yourself, should the need arise.
Every woman has a tremendous Inner Strength as well as a talent that is unique to her. When you understand that the unique gift that is "you" gives you a tremendous opportunity to create a life of abundance and financial security, you will begin to look for ways to share your gifts and talents.
When you understand what you are passionate about, and you find a way to earn a living with that passion, you will never work another day in your life. Too many women remain in a less than satisfactory relationship or career because they don't believe they can find a way to support themselves in a different way.
If your self talk is telling you that you don't have the right education, the right skills or the knowledge to financially support yourself, then it is time for you to change your self talk. Our self talk comes from the same stories we have told ourselves over and over throughout our lives. Pay attention to the words you use on a daily basis. If you find yourself using dis-empowering words such as, "I can't, I don't know how, I'm not good enough, I'll never figure this out (the list can be endless) then it is time to change your vocabulary.
Your vocabulary (the words you choose) creates the story that becomes your life because you continue to tell yourself that your life can not be changed. Change your words, change your vocabulary, and it will change your life.
Nancy Mueller Global
As I sit at my desk, listening to Life's About Choices Radio where I interviewed Dale Stanten (The Hooker's Daughter) I am reminded that each of us has a most special gift within us. At 70 years old, Dale shares her story of being the daughter of a prostitute.
The important thing to understand about Dale's story is that she has not allowed her childhood to hold her back from sharing the gift that she is.
I hear too many women who believe that they can not go after their dreams because they are allowing something in their past to hold them back. When women share their stories about overcoming adversity, they are giving other women an opportunity to hope and to believe that if another woman can overcome something in her past, then she also has that ability.
Give yourself permission to speak the truth, even if your voice shakes because the truth will set you FREE!
How many times have you wanted to set goals, think outside of the box or "go against the grain" but a limiting belief stopped you? What would you like to do? Stop right now and ask yourself this question, "If I could "DO" or "BE" anything I wanted, what would I do or be?" Now ask yourself this question, "what is holding me back?"
You are a gift to this world, there is no other person "just like you". How are you sharing your gift with the world? What were you put on this earth to do? Are you living your life or a life that someone else wants you to live? Do you wake up every single morning and jump out of bed wondering what wonderful event is going to happen in your life today? On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the BEST) how EXCITED are you about your life? What would it take to make it a 10?
We only have one life to live so shouldn't we be doing everything we can to bring abundance into our lives? You have everything you need to live the abundant life you deserve. If you have not yet learned how to tap into your abundance to know the gift that you are, what are you waiting for? What secret desire is burning deep inside of you that you have not spoken out loud? It is my wish for you that you realize your potential and get out there and Party Like Purple to make the most of every single day you have on this earth. Life is short, and time is running out so what are you going to commit to, this very minute, that has the potential to bring abundance into your life? It is time to stop the excuses, and start living.
Speaker, Author, Women's Life Coach & Media Host
No woman ever says "I Do" in anticipation of divorce.
How do you take years of being an "us" and wrap your mind around being single? Regardless of how many years you were married, moving from two to one brings on:
Here are 10 things to keep in mind when living through divorce:
Whether you are thinking of getting divorced, going through a divorce or newly divorced, you may be dealing with situations that you never could have anticipated. You deserve to be happy. What makes you happy? How can you do more of what makes you happy? Surround yourself with compassionate people who will empower you to see your greatness. When you are ready to let go of "what was" you put yourself in a place of accepting "what is possible."
Divorce is an end, but all endings make way for new beginnings. How are YOU taking care of YOU during this emotional time in your life?
Speaker, Author, Success Coach for Women
After my marriage of 34 years ended, I suddenly found myself dating!
Dating, hmmmm, what did I know about dating? Not much, so I started asking around and well, just about everyone suggested internet dating; so, I gave it a try.
When talking about dating on the internet, one topic that intrigued me was the conversations that women had over their FEARS of dating through the internet.
Internet Dating does not have to include FEAR!!!
Here are a couple of suggestions that I recommend if you are dating through the internet:
By Nancy Mueller
I was talking with someone I met at a networking event yesterday and as she was giving me a list of reasons about why she was having challenges with her business. As she stood there complaining, I was reminded of an event from my childhood.
I was 9 years old, standing in the kitchen watching my mother prepare dinner. As she was stirring something on the stove, my father came home, walked up behind her, put his arms around her waist, and handed her a little black velvet box.
As I watched my mother open the box with wide-eyed amazement, wondering what treasure might lie inside this little black box, I could hardly contain myself. Presents weren't a common thing in our home and through childhood dreams of fairy tales and wonder, I watched her slowly open the box.
As she opened the lid, there, nestled inside the velvet case was a beautiful purplish stone surrounded by diamonds. I thought that surely this would put a smile on my mothers face. I waited for my mother to turn around and return my father's embrace; just like in the movies. Instead of hugs, my mother snapped the box closed and ran; crying, from the room.
It wasn't until many years later that I understood my mother's reaction to the ring. You see, my father was famous for quitting every job he ever had and since he had just quit his most current job, my parents could not even afford to feed my brothers and sister and I; let alone buy a shiny opal ring surrounded by diamonds.
I am often reminded of this event when I hear someone say they can not afford to invest in themselves. People can't seem to find the money to buy a self-help book, take a class, hire a coach, go to counseling, go back to school (the list is endless) but they will find a way to pay for cable, buy that new video game, the latest gadget, or the last round during happy hour.
Life truly is all about choices! The choices you make today can bring you closer to success or move you farther away from success. You can choose to turn off the TV and read a book. You can also choose to watch the TV to find out who won the dance contest or got a date with the bachelor. One choice will bring you closer to success and one will prolong your success. Shopping and presents are fine for awhile, but success will give you a permanent smile!
Just a thought!
When I was 17 years old, I stood in front of hundreds of friends and family members making a commitment to love, honor and cherish the man that was about to become my husband. Thirty two years later, as he sat across from me and told me he wanted a divorce, I couldn’t help but wonder; “when is enough truly enough?”
If you make a commitment, shouldn’t you do everything in your power to honor your commitment? As I looked into his face, and saw nothing but anger, something erupted inside of me as though a volcano of emotions were about to erupt and rather than allow my feelings to bubble to the surface, I calmly said, “is that what you really want.” He nodded his head and said, “Yes, do whatever you have to do to make it happen.” Feeling a mixture of defeat and relief, I replied, “Ok, I will get started right away.” With a look of surprise on his face, he said, “That’s it, you will do it?” I replied, “you said it is what you want, why do you seem so surprised that I said yes?” His next words hit me between the eyes when he said, “I just didn’t think you would say yes, I figured I could just keep treating you the way I have always treated you and you would just keep taking it like you always have.”
As women, we tend to put the needs of others before our own needs; as days, months, and then years slide by we look in the mirror and see the same face, but something has changed. Looking in the mirror I couldn’t help but ask myself, “When did I allow my belief in commitment to keep me from valuing my “self”?
For years I allowed my belief in commitment to keep me from letting go because sometimes it is easier deal with what we know rather than move towards the unknown. Letting go means moving towards the unknown but it also means you are stepping into your power!
Have you ever heard of The Sedona Method? It is a vastly accelerated way of letting go of feelings like anger, frustration, jealousy, anxiety, stress, and fear, as well as many other problems – even physical pain – with which almost everybody struggles at one time or another.
If we have had the pleasure to meet, personally, then you know that I am the most positive person I know! I love my life and sometimes, following my own advice can be a difficult path!
Letting go meant that I had to admit that I was not a complete victim in my situation. I chose to allow it to continue based on my belief at that time. Once the victim became the victor I was able to create a New Beginning in my life. Letting go has created room for me to shout… “I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!”
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