The morning started out like any other but the choice I was making will forever change the course of my life. I waited in line to be handed my ticket just like I do at the post office; the only difference was, this time I was waiting in line to begin divorce proceedings instead of waiting to mail a package.
As I stood in line, waiting for my turn, I thought about my drive to the courthouse, parking my car, walking through security, searching for the floor where Family Court is held and wondering what all the other people standing in line with me were dealing with. No one looks into the eyes of another person, there is no talking, heads are bowed low and you wonder what others, standing in line with you are thinking.
When I finally reached the window, the bored employee behind the bullet proof glass began to look over my paperwork. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened in this room to warrant bullet proof glass! After determining that my paperwork was in order, I was informed that he cost to file would be $450; why is filing for divorce so much more expensive than a marriage license?
I kept reminding myself to BREATHE and remembering to hold on to the light at the end of the tunnel because I know it is the key to getting through this.
The clerk barely looks you in the eye, he sees this type of situation every day that he reports to work. His job is to move people through the line, not to give reassurance. He hands me my ticket, mumbles something about waiting for my number to be called and is already beginning to do the same for the person in line behind me.
As I sit there, waiting for my ticket number to be called, I keep reminding myself of what a good person I am. I have made this decision because I know it is what is best for me and I must remember that if I am going to get through this I must continue to believe in myself and love myself. I brought a book to read during my wait but I am unable to concentrate. My thoughts keep drifting back to my wedding day and how I thought it would be my "happily ever after!" As I reminisce about that day, my thoughts are brought back to why I have made this decision and I realize that the love and happiness in my life comes from within and not because of someone else. I know that I have the Inner Strength to grow from this experience just as I have grown from past experiences in my life. The "positive" that is within me begins to swell within my heart until it reaches my mind and puts a smile on my face.
I believe that divorce can be viewed as opportunity or sadness but if you remember that every ending is an opportunity for a New Beginning you begin to realize that you absolutely have choices in your life!
You made the choice to say, "I Do" and now you are making the choice to say, "I Don't Any More" so what is your next step towards your New Beginning?
Think of this journey as a staircase, success will come from being willing to take the next step.
Step #1 ~ Your Health: Have you neglected yourself in this area and if so, what one step will you commit to doing to improve your health? You are the most important person in your life and you owe yourself the power of a healthy body. What negative habits have you fallen into that you will want to change on this journey to the top?
Step #2 ~ Your "SELF": Keep in mind that your life is all about YOU now so what one step will you commit to doing to be kind and loving to yourself? When was the last time you took time for yourself or put YOU first on your To Do List? Your playing small does not serve the world. What habits will you change to show you and the world that you matter and that, moving forward, every choice you make will be out of love for your "self." How can you expect love and respect from others if you don't know how to give it to yourself first? Make a choice right now to say "I LOVE ME" and all of my decisions will be made for my highest good. If you need help getting started, CLICK HERE and begin with the I Love Me journal.
Step #3 ~ Your Wealth: It is time to look at the gifts that you possess and live your passion. What are you most passionate about? How can you create a career living your passion and sharing your talents and gifts with the world? Now that you are ready to be self-preserving by putting your needs and wants first, what does that look like for your career?
In all 3 of these areas, make a list of what is working for you and what is not working for you. Many people want to bring about positive changes in their lives but aren't sure where to start. Too many people concentrate on what they DON'T want instead of what they DO want. What will it take to give you the Courage, Confidence and Confirmation that you can DO, BE or HAVE anything you desire? If you aren't sure where to start, CLICK HERE and listen to any of the archived interviews. These women are sharing concepts and philosophies that could be the key to empower you to take your next step. Have you thought about what LOVING yourself really means? CLICK HERE to understand why this is so important and can actually help you run up those steps towards your goal.
Here is the most important thing to remember as you walk your journey through divorce, surround yourself with people who inspire you and who will encourage you to NEVER GIVE UP! Stay away from friends and family members who want to sit and commiserate with you for they are not helping you move forward.
People you thought were so supportive in the past will seem to drift out of your life but this is more about them and their choices than about you. Knowing this will hopefully encourage you to seek new opportunities for friendships and mentors. Remember, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHOICES... you can choose to stay in bed under the covers or you can choose to Party Like Purple every day and put some life in your living. BREATHE and always look for the light at the end of the tunnel.
Speaker, Author, Life Coach, Radio Show Host at Life's About Choices Radio on iHeart internet radio
No woman ever says "I Do" in anticipation of divorce.
How do you take years of being an "us" and wrap your mind around being single? Regardless of how many years you were married, moving from two to one brings on:
Here are 10 things to keep in mind when living through divorce:
Whether you are thinking of getting divorced, going through a divorce or newly divorced, you may be dealing with situations that you never could have anticipated. You deserve to be happy. What makes you happy? How can you do more of what makes you happy? Surround yourself with compassionate people who will empower you to see your greatness. When you are ready to let go of "what was" you put yourself in a place of accepting "what is possible."
Divorce is an end, but all endings make way for new beginnings. How are YOU taking care of YOU during this emotional time in your life?
Speaker, Author, Success Coach for Women
Preventing attack situations is an important self defense requirement for any woman; an important self defense technique is knowing where danger occurs, and avoiding those risky circumstances. Remember, the best way to win a fight is not to be there.
Tip #1: Be attentive and aware of your surroundings. It's a bad idea to be walking through a shady park or in your apartment stairwell with your iPod headphones in your ears, potentially deafening you to the approach of an attacker. Also, stay in well lit, public places. This holds especially true for women who like to exercise outdoors. If you must run outdoors, only run in public places or run with a friend. Pairing up with another person is a great deterrent for predators.
Tip #2: Look confident. Predators are often attracted to women who look like they won't be able to defense themselves.
Tip #3: When driving at night, park as close to the entrance as possible and avoid dark parking lots. Carry a flashlight on your keychain. When walking to your car, ask someone to come with you. Also, have your keys ready to enter your car immediately and lock it from the inside. You can become a target if you're being followed and linger outside of your car looking for your keys in your purse. A great self defense move for women is holding the keys in a defensive position-position the keys to extrude from between your fingers like brass knuckles. It sounds unusual, but it adds significant clout should you need to physically defend yourself from an attacker.
#4: Know what potential attackers look like. Someone loitering in a parking lot or an alley is a potential sign of trouble. If you notice someone following you and you feel in danger, go to a well-lit, public area with lots of people and call a friend to come meet you instead of attempting to walk to your car or home alone.
I wanted to study Karate from the time I was in the sixth grade. I grew up in the era of Bruce Lee, and I wanted to be able to fight like Bruce—to defend myself in any situation. While still in school I longed to know how to fight because I craved power over the man who robbed me of my childhood. As I grew older, I wanted to fight because I wanted vengeance from the man who robbed me of my childhood. When the opportunity to study Martial Arts presented itself, it was finally my chance to right the wrongs that were inflicted on me. However, the truth is, the longer I studied, the more the need for retribution diminished!
Continuing with my studies, I began to know myself and understand the Inner Strength I possessed. Staying in the game, not quitting, and succeeding when no one believes in you takes strength. I learned that what happened to me did not control me, what mattered is that I learned from my past. Some people believe that knowledge is power; I am here to tell you that “applied” knowledge is power!
I KNOW my calling and passion is to educate women and empower them to discover their Inner Strength. Who do you want to be? What do you want to do?
As a Long Beach, California native, I am the most positive person I know. I have been a student and teacher of the Martial Arts since 1994. When speaking, coaching and working with clients, I incorporate my background and knowledge of the Martial Arts to show women the Inner Strength they possess but may not realize. I believe that once a woman begins to realize the power from within, she starts asking herself, "If I can do that, what else can I accomplish?
What New Beginning could you create for yourself if you were to discover your Inner Strength? If this is something you have always wanted to try, go ahead… what are you waiting for?
Have you ever attended a meeting, seminar or workshop that promised to take your life or business to the next level; only to find out at the end of the meeting that you will need to buy the speaker’s CD’s or DVD’s for hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars?
Most women entrepreneurs already have the power to grow their business; they just need to understand the Inner Strength they already possess that prompted them to start their own business in the first place!
Every woman has the ability to reach beyond the depths of her understanding to create success in her life. Every day women create success as a wife, mother, athlete, business owner, employee, partner, girlfriend, or mentor. Have you ever wondered how you are able to fit in everything you do in a single day? Women manage to run countries, businesses, homes, and often put the needs of others before their own to get the job done.
I have been a student and teacher of the Martial Arts since 1994 and when I started teaching Self Defense classes to women, I found that most women wanted to learn some basic information to feel safe but they were not interested in committing to hours and hours of training each week. I was not surprised when many of the women in my class began telling me that by learning the philosophies and techniques for self-defense, they were also able to apply it to everyday situations in their business and personal life.
Once I started adding basic self-defense techniques to my coaching sessions, many of my clients were amazed at how they began to excel in public speaking, being assertive with co-workers, making better decisions in their professional and business lives and even when they were dating!
What are you doing to take your business to the next level? Do you know how to tap into your Inner Strength to power your life or business? If you’re tired of spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on the next CD or DVD to improve your life or business, perhaps it is time for a New Beginning! I know you can do it; after all, you are a woman!
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