Any woman who has ever lived through any of these experiences may certainly have a story about how these experiences are effecting her today.
Abuse, in any form has everlasting effects on the person being abused as well as the people in your life.
Choosing to use these experiences as an excuse for our current situation in life puts us in victim mode and keeps us linked to our past.
How do you take a negative past experience, let it go, and move forward with empowerment?
A woman may feel that her past experiences are holding her back from what she truly wants in their life and yet while there is evidence why a woman might feel this way, many have found a way out of the chains that were holding them prisoner to their past.
Above, is a list of limiting beliefs that create a story women tell themselves to keep them mired in their past experiences. Women tell themselves that it is about culture, childhood environment, or some form of lack that keeps us from success in our life. Stories such as, "I could never be a public figure because when people find out about the abuse in my childhood I will be judged and not taken seriously."
I know this first hand because there was a time in my life when that was my limiting belief. When we tell ourselves something often enough, it soon becomes our truth and that perceived truth is the basis from which we make all of our choices. We choose to allow our past to keep us in victim mentality. Victim mentality gives us permission to stay the way we are and offer hundreds of excuses about why we live a life of lack rather than a life of abundance.
When you get to the point where you can ask yourself, "What have I learned from that experience?", you will then be able to change your perspective on how you see yourself, how you present yourself to others and your story will change because you begin to see yourself as the victor rather than the victim.
Giving up being a victim means giving up all of your excuses and becoming an empowered woman. A woman once shared with me that after she had been raped, she felt as though there were a sign on her forehead saying, "abusers welcome here." It wasn't until someone told her that she mattered that she began to change her thought process about letting go of her "story" that her past would always define who she is.
WARNING: The road to empowerment will be full of F.E.A.R.
When you begin to move out of victim mentality, you will experience many forms of F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) because you are moving away from your comfort zone (that story you always told yourself that gave you a reason to feel "safe in your current living situation"). There are so many women who have yet to realize their value, their potential and the gift that they are.
A belief is a thought, fueled by a feeling that you think over and over again until it become habitual. Once a thought becomes habitual, you no longer even recognize that you are thinking it. For this reason, it is absolutely essential to identify and release the long held, worn out beliefs that often hold toxic thoughts in place. ~ Iyanla Vanzant
Life Is All About Choices. We want to take the choices we make today and optimize our success in the future. Every choice we make brings us closer to an abundant life or takes us farther away.
When you are moving out of victim mode, you will feel fear. Your job is to ask yourself, "Am I really in physical danger?" If the answer is "no", when you begin to feel the fear, simply imagine a different outcome.
We must know what we want for ourselves but for too long we have been told to live "As If." (imagining you already have it). You can live "As If" all day long but if you have a limiting belief that makes you feel as though you don't deserve it (based on the story that has been your belief system thus far), it will be almost impossible for you to move from imagination to manifestation.
How do you go from living "As If" to manifesting what you want? First you must sit in feeling for what you "say" you want. To WANT something means that you are willing to go after it with everything in your power and nothing will stand in your way. Unfortunately, many people allow the fear of going after what they want from having what they want.
Make friends with your fear for it serves a purpose. Fear can keep you from physical harm and it can also let you know when you are moving out of your comfort zone. When this happens, learn to know the difference and welcome the feeling; both types of fear will help you manifest the abundance you are looking for.
Chocolate or Vanilla, Life Is All About Choices
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