All I ever wanted was to have children and be the best mom I could ever be. I wanted to be the mom I never had and I believed that if I did everything the opposite of the way my mother parented me, then I would be the BEST mom in the world!
While I was raising my daughters I found myself repeating this particular phrase, over and over, "There is no manual to be a parent. How am I supposed to know if I am making the right choice? What if I make a choice that affects them forever? How am I supposed to know if I am being too strict or not strict enough? Am I empowering my child or disempowering her? Yikes, how will I know how the decisions I am making today will affect her later on in life?"
Oh sure, there are thousands of books on parenting but I am sure every parent in the world will agree that there are things that come up during child rearing that they can't find in books because every single child is unique. You can raise 5 children in the same family and yet each child will grow up with a different perception of his or her childhood.
And yet, I hear of so many adults who blame the way their life turned out on their parents, when the truth is, your adult life is the way it is because of the choices you make.
The time for "victim mode" is over. It's not what happens to you in your life that matters but what you do with what happens to you. Every single day there are more and more women who are speaking up and talking about atrocities, traumas, mental abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, abandonment and so much more and these women are finding that by sharing their stories they are actually helping themselves and others to let go of their negative childhood experiences.
We can no longer place blame on the parents of adults who choose to make poor choices in their life. When you look back at generation after generation and you see poor choices made by the parents and grandparents that are handed down to the children you can see how these choices have become habit. Parents parent the way their parents parented them and the cycle continues until someone learns to break the cycle.
When you understand that, as an adult, every single choice you make is based on your beliefs (what you believe to be true), most people live their life based on their habits, they are actually living their life in an unconscious state. We function every single day in habit mode. From the time we wake up, our morning routine, what side of the bed we sleep on, how we brush our teeth, the daily drive to and from work is all done through habit. Just like these mundane routines that we rarely give a second thought to, so are the habits of our thinking.
Why do you believe what you believe? Who TOLD you it is true? And whoever told you, have you ever wondered who told them? It is time to start living our lives through consciousness rather than unconsciousness (habit). Why do you buy the brands you use, the car you drive, the career you have, your views on religion, sex, relationships. Where do your beliefs on these subjects come from and how can you change these beliefs if your life isn't what you had hoped for?
All change begins by giving yourself permission to question your beliefs.
When you are ready to evolve your thinking, your life will also evolve.
We are all walking around as layers of those who came before us. Those people who influenced our life either positively or negatively. We can all remember that awesome teacher who made such an impact in our life and yet many of us can also remember that teacher who negatively impacted our life. You are who you are based on how these teachers, parents, events, family members, peers, etc. impacted your life whether the impact was negative or positive.
We are the sum of our experiences and who we come into contact with. So what happens when we are negatively affected by someone who we had no say over being in our life? These people have also taught us, even if what they taught us was how we did not want to be!
At a very early age, I knew I wanted to be a different mother than my mother. There was no manual telling me how to do it, I simply knew that I never wanted to inflict experiences on my children that were inflicted on me. We all have the power to give the gift of change to generations to come but we will never accomplish this if we stay in "victim mode."
What is your J.O.B. (Jump Outta Bed)? If you don't wake up every morning looking forward to your J.O.B. what are you going to do to make the necessary changes to turn your negatives into positives? Many people SAY they want to make changes but few are willing to change the habits that have gotten them where they are.
When you are ready to live an empowered life, start with your beliefs. Give yourself permission to ask, "is that true? Or is that what I have always believed to be true and I never thought to question it?"
If you are ready to change your life and are looking for the right questions, HEALING THE CHILD WITHIN, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHOICES can help show you what questions to start asking.
Remember, parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual but we do have the power to change who we are as adults, regardless of the way we were parented!
All Adversity Business Challenge Eating Fitness Forgiveness Goals Habit Happiness Happy Health Hero Hollywood Jack Canfield Life Magic Marriage Martial Money Power Responsibility Self Strength Tour Wealth Weight Loss Women