Every woman has a younger version of herself who is always with her. There may be days when her younger version shows up at the most unexpected time to entice the woman into abandoning the cultural etiquettes of adulthood but for the most part, her younger self remains silent in the background.
Although she is silent, she is always available to inflict her beliefs on the woman’s adult self. Therein lies the conflict!
As children, we learn how to cope in our childhood world. We cry to get attention, we smile to get compliments, we get good grades to make our parents proud of us and the list goes on and on. Most adults think nothing of this childhood behavior because they are too busy “teaching” the children.
How do parents teach? They teach the same way they were taught. Family traditions are passed down from one generation to another and we never think to question these traditions. Family meals, holidays, religious beliefs, relationships, health choices, careers, work ethics, and even sex are taught to children with the same overtones that were taught to their parents.
These become our beliefs.
Understanding where our beliefs originate is the key to unlocking the limiting beliefs that hold us back as adults. Knowing that our beliefs originated as children and were accepted or not accepted based on the limited knowledge and life experience that children have, is it any wonder why these same beliefs no longer serve our adult self.
Everything a child sees, hears or experiences is taken is as a truth (the stove is hot, candy is good, don’t talk back, don’t ask for things, be polite, help the needy, go to college, jobs are hard to come by so when you find one be sure to work hard and stick with it until you can retire and enjoy your life). When you have years of conditioned teachings, is it any wonder that these teachings become subconscious beliefs?
So when your adult self is making decisions based on the child self, is it any wonder that the adult self can have challenges and not understand why life isn’t going the way they desire?
When the adult self is having relationship problems but her truth about relationships is based on what she absorbed as a child, it is easy to see why these relationship issues seem nearly impossible to overcome.
Wherever you are feeling the most challenged in your life, stop and ask yourself, “What is my TRUTH about the decision(s) I am currently making?” Once you have established what you believe your truth to be, the next question to ask yourself is, “Is this true, or is this what I have always believed to be true and I never thought to question it?” Knowing that your younger self will encourage you to continue believing what you have always believed, you now have the opportunity to see your beliefs for what they are: simply a child’s view of how the world works.
Once you give yourself permission to examine what you’ve always believed to be true, you open a door to new possibilities for every challenge you face.
Although your younger self is always with you (in the form of your memories and how you perceive the world) you have a choice of how much she will influence your adult self.
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei for Women
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