How many of you know people in life who, just by walking into a room, can immediately drain the energy in the room. Once they walk into the room, everyone else sort of walks away or leaves! Or, if you spend time with these people, after an hour or so, you feel totally drained.
How many of you know people who, when the walk into a room bring such a positive energy that the room just seems to brighten? Have you ever asked yourself, “Do I have a nourishing personality or a toxic personality?”
If you want to increase your self-esteem, consider hanging out with nourishing people. At this time of year, we often encounter many toxic people at holiday parties or family gatherings. We often feel that it is our duty to attend these holiday gatherings but if you really want to build high self esteem and step into your power, you may want to consider avoiding that holiday event this year.
Likewise, throughout the rest of the year, use the same thought process when determining which family or social events you want to attend. If you are currently a member of a networking group that you feel contains one or more toxic people, consider leaving the group to look for a group that is nourishing and leaves you feeling uplifted during and after the meeting!
You are known by the 5 people you hang around with the most; ask yourself if those 5 people are more nourishing or toxic and then decide if you should spend more or less time with them!
One of the concepts in Martial Arts is to use your opponents force against him or her. Rather than allowing force to meet force, one opponent will step off to the side and use the opposing force against their opponent. Using this same theory, you can often do this with the toxic people in your life. When you are resisting someone else’s negativity (you say “no I’m not, the other person says “yes, you are”) you allow struggle or conflict into your life thereby putting yourself in the situation of having to defend yourself.
Consider, instead of resisting their energy, blend with it and move to the side to allow their negative energy to be used against them. You can apply this same principle to relationships. For instance, if a friend were to tell you that you are a bad friend because you never call. You can reply, “If I were you, I would feel the same way, I probably am a bad friend!” You will probably find a long silence from your friend while they try to understand what just happened. He or she will probably respond with, “Well, you’re not that bad.” If you stop resisting people judging you or criticizing you, and simply tell them that you can understand why they might think or feel the way they do, they will have nowhere to go because all of their energy will be used in defending their point. Agreeing with them does not mean they are right. It simply means you understand how they could have that perception or you can understand how they could feel that way. You are not saying they are right, but internally, inside of you, you know that you have your point of view and your perception of who you are and that’s right too. It’s as if you can both be right at the same time, that there is no truth out there, because there is only the other person’s experience of you and your own experience of you. We can choose to believe our experience of us, while letting the other person have their experience of us.
Can you give yourself permission to let go of the toxic people in your life or to at least minimize the time you spend with them?
Would now be a good time for you to create a New Beginning in who you choose to surround yourself with? Remember, life is all about choices!
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