She is pretty sure she wants to leave, at least she thinks she does because it seems to be all she thinks about. But she has everything she’s ever dreamed of; a nice house, beautiful children, a reliable car, and a handsome husband. She wants for nothing, and yet, something is missing. Her thoughts of leaving bring her feelings of guilt for even thinking about leaving. What would people say? Who would take care of her children? How will her husband manage? As she suffers in silence with her guilty thoughts, deep down, she knows she will stay. But she wonders…
The years pass by, and she watches her daughter with her own daughter and thinks to herself, “my daughter seems so distant; I wish I could get her to talk to me and tell me what she is thinking. I want to help heal whatever hurt she is going through. I made the right decision to stay. I raised a beautiful daughter who is raising a beautiful daughter of her own. I was right to stay, I did the right thing because I will always be here for my daughter and when she is ready to talk, I will be here for her and listen.”
She has no way of knowing that every single day her daughter asks herself, “is this it? Is this all there will ever be in my life? This isn’t what I thought being a wife and mother would be. My mother made it look so easy, why can’t I be more like my mother? She would be so ashamed of me if she knew how unhappy I am. I feel so guilty, I should be more grateful. After all, I have a beautiful home, a beautiful daughter, the newest model car, and a handsome husband. What is wrong with me? Why do I feel like I’m missing out on something important in my life? Every day I wrestle with the guilt of wanting more and the reality of staying where I am. I should be more grateful. I should be more like my mother. But she wonders…
The years pass by and she is having lunch with her daughter. Her mom is gone now, and she misses her every single day. She wonders what her mother would have thought of her if she had had the courage to confide in her about wanting something more in her life. She looks across the table at her daughter and she feels the estrangement between them. It’s nothing she can really put her finger on; her daughter calls her (not as much as she would like), her daughter is polite to her (but she doesn’t seem to need her) her daughter seems so very happy with her career and her friends. She acts like she is so happy but deep down she must be hurting.
She tells me she is living her life the way that makes her happy. But how can she be happy when she isn’t married, she doesn’t own her own home and she doesn’t even talk about having children of her own? At this rate, I will never be a grandmother. If she would only talk to me and stop pretending she is so happy, I know I could help her. How could my daughter have turned out this way? This is not the way I raised her. But she wonders…
As the daughter sits across from her mother, she is trying very hard to have patience. It’s all she can do to keep from jumping up and running out of the restaurant. Her mother just doesn’t understand her and she never will. She is sick and tired of her mother asking her when she’s going to get married, settle down and give her a grandchild. I just can’t tell her that I don’t want that life. She had everything she could ever need and yet she didn’t seem very happy. I watched my father work harder to make her happy and nothing seemed to work. If that’s what marriage is, I don’t want any part of it. My life is so much better than my mother’s life. She doesn’t believe in going after your dreams, to live life to the fullest and living life on purpose. She will never understand me and when I'm with her, all I think about is "how soon I can leave?"
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei
All Adversity Business Challenge Eating Fitness Forgiveness Goals Habit Happiness Happy Health Hero Hollywood Jack Canfield Life Magic Marriage Martial Money Power Responsibility Self Strength Tour Wealth Weight Loss Women