The beliefs of others was not the path I was meant to travel in my life.
Because of this, I tend to be a non-conformist! Even as a young child, there were many events and circumstances where I relied on instinct to survive.
Children who question the decisions of others, often find themselves in frustrating situations because adults tend to look at them as “the child who just doesn’t listen and do what she’s told.” As you can imagine, this created many challenges during my childhood years.
It wasn’t until I was in my 50’s when my mother said to me, “Nancy, I had no idea you were so brilliant and so talented. When you were a little girl you were always full of questions and you used to ask questions that I couldn’t answer and say things that used to scare me. I tried yelling at you, punishing you and beating you but nothing worked; finally, the only way I could cope was to ignore you.
As a child, not understanding why others didn’t understand my questions left me feeling inadequate, have low self-worth and feeling like a “bad person”. I carried these beliefs with me well into my adult life and these beliefs were the foundation for who I thought I was. But I was conflicted. My adult self, kept saying, “I know I’m not a bad person. I’m loving, I care about people and I want the best for myself and others.”
It was that very conversation with my mother when I had a light bulb moment that shined a light into one of the dark corners of my mind. The dark corners of our minds are full of limiting beliefs such as, “I’m not good enough, Who am I to think I could ever…, I’ll never learn this, I can’t” and so many other limiting beliefs.
Can you guess what that light bulb moment was for me? That light bulb moment of realization was, “all this time I thought there was something wrong with me, when actually, it was my mother’s fear of not knowing how to parent a child like me!” Whoa! As Oprah would say, “that’s a tweetable moment!”
How many adults are walking around with a belief about themselves that was put there from an outside influence? Parents, peers, bosses, siblings, friends, social media or even how our child-self viewed the world; all have an opportunity to influence who we believe we are as a person.
Do you want to know a secret? If we are powerful enough to hold so tightly to a negative belief, we are just as powerful to eliminate that negative belief! I don’t know about you but when I learned this, it was a game changer for me! Before I knew it, I was shining a light in more of those dark corners of my mind to get rid of those limiting beliefs!
I have to be honest though, some of those negative beliefs took a LOT of work to get rid of. It was amazing to me how hard it can be to let go of belief that turned into the way I saw my world and my life. Every light bulb moment came with the same question, “why did it take me so long to understand that?”
The answer that I have come up with, to that question is this, “the light bulb moment happens when you are ready for it, and not before!” In other words, when I’m ready to let go of the resistance of WHY I think I need that particular belief in my life, I will no longer need to hold on to it as part of my identity.
Now my life is about shining my light instead of hiding within the dark corners of my mind. All I can say is, “we only have one life to live and in my opinion, living in the light is way more fun! “
Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei
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