Victim or Victor

When I was 17 years old, I stood in front of hundreds of friends and family members making a commitment to love, honor and cherish the man that was about to become my husband.  Thirty two years later, as he sat across from me and told me he wanted a divorce, I couldn’t help but wonder; “when is enough truly enough?”

If you make a commitment, shouldn’t you do everything in your power to honor your commitment?  As I looked into his face, and saw nothing but anger, something erupted inside of me as though a volcano of emotions were about to erupt and rather than allow my feelings to bubble to the surface, I calmly said, “is that what you really want.”  He nodded his head and said, “Yes, do whatever you have to do to make it happen.”  Feeling a mixture of defeat and relief, I replied, “Ok, I will get started right away.”  With a look of surprise on his face, he said, “That’s it, you will do it?”  I replied, “you said it is what you want, why do you seem so surprised that I said yes?”  His next words hit me between the eyes when he said, “I just didn’t think you would say yes, I figured I could just keep treating you the way I have always treated you and you would just keep taking it like you always have.”

As women, we tend to put the needs of others before our own needs; as days, months, and then years slide by we look in the mirror and see the same face, but something has changed.  Looking in the mirror I couldn’t help but ask myself, “When did I allow my belief in commitment to keep me from valuing my “self”?

For years I allowed my belief in commitment to keep me from letting go because sometimes it is easier deal with what we know rather than move towards the unknown.  Letting go means moving towards the unknown but it also means you are stepping into your power!

Have you ever heard of The Sedona Method?  It is a vastly accelerated way of letting go of feelings like anger, frustration, jealousy, anxiety, stress, and fear, as well as many other problems – even physical pain – with which almost everybody struggles at one time or another.

If we have had the pleasure to meet, personally, then you know that I am the most positive person I know!  I love my life and sometimes, following my own advice can be a difficult path!

Letting go meant that I had to admit that I was not a complete victim in my situation.  I chose to allow it to continue based on my belief at that time.  Once the victim became the victor I was able to create a New Beginning in my life.  Letting go has created room for me to shout… “I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!”

---