Every self-help book, seminar, webinar, teleseminar and guru will tell you, “If you want to experience success around your goals and dreams, all you have to do is Believe It’s Possible!
But HOW do you make the belief a reality?
It seems like a silly question, but there are a lot of people who want to believe, they know they need to believe (because that’s what all the experts say), but the gap between dreams, hopes and what we believe is possible, can be huge.
The easy answer is, “Do It.” The challenge is, “Doing It.”
Too many people give up at the dreaming stage because they’re not sure it’s possible, they don’t want to tell other people (because what happens if they don’t make it), their friends and family try to talk them out of it, and the biggest reason of all, we don’t know how to believe in ourselves because of our own limiting beliefs.
The person who wants to run a marathon but isn’t sure he can make it to the finish line is the same person who will stand on the sidelines and cheer others to the finish line. Logically, they can see it’s possible, yet they can’t see themselves doing the same thing.
Then the experts tell us to “Visualize” that our dreams and goals have come true and what we will do when that happens. Since we don’t know what we don’t know, how can we visualize ourselves doing something we’ve never accomplished before?
Doubt sets in and then it’s difficult to believe in ourselves because of our own limiting beliefs.
So, the real question we want to ask ourselves is, “where do my limiting beliefs come from?”
When a child is told something often enough, soon he or she believes it to be true.
“You are the smartest kid I know” is a great thing to teach our children. But what happens when that child comes home crying and tells his parents that he is no longer the smartest kid in school because another student got a better grade on an assignment than he did? The way this is handled will either create a positive belief around how intelligent the child believes he is or create a limiting belief because the situation was handled in a negative way.
It’s not because the parents intentionally handled it in a negative way; parents can only handle it in a way that is in alignment with their own beliefs.
Either way, there will be an emotion and a feeling attached to this situation and the child will carry this belief with him or her into adulthood, either because of something he was told or because of something he intuited from the situation.
I had one goal the year I graduated high school; to get married and be a great wife. I had 3 requirements for my husband; that he be a good provider, that he never have an affair and that he never hit me or my children. This may not sound like a huge goal but for me, it seemed almost unattainable because this was not something I grew up with; my “child self” believed that this is what would make a happy life.
At the age of 17, I accomplished this goal.
By the time I was in my 40’s, all three of the requirements I had for a husband had been broken. And yet, even though my belief in what it took to live a happy life (to get married and be a great wife, have a husband who is a good provider, who never has an affair and that he never hit me or my children) had been proven false, it took several more years to end this relationship.
Why? Because I BELIEVED if I kept working towards this goal, that things would turn around and end up happily ever after!
What happens to the person who creates a life around their career but when they finally reach their career goals, they can’t understand why they are so unhappy? Or the person who never seems to earn more than a certain amount of money every year, no matter how hard they try?
By now, you can see the outcome of dreaming or goal setting greatly depends on our limiting beliefs.
Now that you know how your beliefs can keep you from being successful, you may begin to see the importance of questioning your beliefs. The easiest way to determine if a belief needs to be questioned when you are creating an important dream or goal, is to ask yourself, “how attached to the outcome of this dream/goal am I?” Then, listen for the answer. Chances are, if you’re making a decision because you are somehow trying to control the outcome, you are most likely working from a limiting belief.
Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Mentor
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