I’m a genius!
That’s what my mom and her husband tell me every day!
Since my arrival, I’ve updated their WiFi and cable boxes. I showed my mom how to download the app to her phone for her cable company which allows us to troubleshoot her cable through her phone. Does this make me a genius? It certainly does to someone who lacks the technology skills!
My mom’s husband Vern is scheduled to have surgery to receive a pacemaker. The doctor’s office sent a heart monitor for him to wear to monitor his heart 24 hours a day. The monitor arrived in the mail and all you need is a little technology know how to get started; an easy task if you understand how to connect the device to the Bluetooth sensor.
I found myself doing something I never would have thought I would do; attaching a heart monitor to the someone’s chest! Since my medical know how stops at CPR I found myself in unfamiliar territory, but I managed to get it all hooked up only to discover they had sent two identical charging cords instead of two separate cords for the monitor and the sensor.
Once again, my mom and Vern called me a genius for knowing how to figure it out.
When you think about the word “genius” it’s all relevant. How does one get to be a genius? By not being afraid to try new things and being able to step outside of the box when you want to learn something new or create new opportunities.
Watch a 3-year old with an iPad and they will boggle your mind at what they can achieve because they have no fear of “doing it wrong.” They just keep pushing buttons and clicking different areas until they get the desired results.
As adults, our beliefs about what we “can’t do” often hold us back from showing the world the genius gene we possess! But when it comes to generations, how often do we find ourselves getting impatient with someone who believes they lack the knowledge or the understanding to learn new things?
When my mom chooses to lower her vibrational energy by convincing herself that she lacks the knowledge or the understanding to learn something new I find myself faced with two choices: either I can do it for her or show her how to do it.
Most of the time my mom is a willing student and is very eager to learn and celebrate at her own level of genius! When she forgets what I taught her (or convinces herself that she doesn’t remember) it gives us the opportunity to have new conversations with new questions, so she can understand how she allows her own limiting beliefs to hold her back.
Life is all about choices. We can choose to believe that we lack the genius that we see in others or we can choose to step up to our own brand of genius. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. What comes easily to some can be a struggle for others; patience, a kind word and a willingness to share our knowledge can go a long way.
Relationships are all about strength yielding to strength; where one is weak, the other is strong and together they compliment each other! If you find yourself in need of bridging the mother/daughter gap, it’s important that you understand how your own limiting beliefs can make this gap wider until you're ready to master your own beliefs around what you believe your relationship is all about!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Empowerment Sensei
June 3, 2016; the date my brother had a motorcycle accident that resulted in Traumatic Brain Injury and another reason for my decision to move to Ohio.
Since my arrival two weeks ago, I have been in the emergency room with my sister-in-law three times to visit my brother. Unfortunately, there is not much information about Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and now that my brother is physically fine, there is still the question on every one of our minds, “What happens next? Will he ever come home? What is to become of our brother, father, husband, son, grandfather?
It was becoming more and more clear to me that the help I could offer was very limited from my home in California, so the Universe has guided me to be with my family. My brother is an Army Veteran; who is also a 100% disabled Veteran. I am learning a lot about how the VA takes care of their Vets and the red tape is staggering.
People keep asking us, “why does your brother keep ending up in the emergency room?” My answer, “because he is well enough to want to explore his world without the knowledge of how to do that. When children explore their world, they have parents who are there to love them, guide them and keep them safe. But an adult who is trying to understand what is happening in his world can get just as frustrated as a 3-year old trying to figure out a new toy, except in my brother’s case, he can’t be redirected when he gets frustrated. Have you ever tried to redirect an adult who doesn’t want to be redirected? They get annoyed, then they get angry, then they try to get what they want through physical force. We are now at the point of trying to understand how to help my brother, Michael, explore his world while keeping him and those around him safe from harm.”
The doctors are attempting to do this with drugs. In my opinion, medicine can be helpful when used correctly but when it’s used to keep a person in a docile state, the results are heartbreaking. At least, that’s what it felt like today when we visited Michael. When we walked into his room, he was on the floor, on his knees, bent over his bed, with his head on the bed. He didn’t even look up at us. Last week, when we saw him in the emergency room, we were laughing, telling jokes, watching Michael eat his dinner, then eat my dinner, then eat his wife’s dinner. Today, we couldn’t get Michael to feed himself, but he accepted my help to feed him his lunch.
Is it selfish to say, “I want my brother back?”
Is it selfish to say, “I want the doctors to stop doping my brother into a docile state?”
Is it selfish to say, “I want the VA to step up to the plate and treat the person instead of the symptoms?”
If it’s selfish to want all of this, them I am very selfish.
I believe everything happens for a purpose, and I believe that one day we will know the purpose of this position every member of our family is dealing with as a group as well as individually.
I believe; I believe with all my heart, but today my heart is breaking.
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Empowerment Sensei
I watch her as she continuously checks her surroundings to make sure she maintains her balance; my mother walks with a cane, thus she walks very slowly.
I am a very patient person, and I have found ways to help (i.e. getting a shopping cart for her to lean on) but my 7th day in town, I found myself feeling very impatient with the amount of time it was taking for her to walk from the car to the store.
I noticed my feelings of impatience, I asked myself why this was a problem. Why now? Why after 7 days of experiencing how slow she walks was I feeling impatient at this time? As I rushed to get a shopping cart for her to lean on (in the hopes of speeding up her walk from the car to the store), I continued to check in with myself as to why I was feeling annoyed. I felt a huge urge to go into the store and wait for her from inside the store instead of walking next to her.
I resisted the urge to wait for her from inside the store, but I could feel my impatience mounting!
When I arrived in Ohio, the weather was unusually warm for December in Ohio. I enjoyed the fall like weather that hovered around 60 degrees and dipped into the low 50’s at night. But on this day, 7 days after my arrival, winter was truly upon us and my California jacket was no match for the cold Ohio temperatures; it was time to buy myself a winter coat.
I chose a stylish TAHARI black, down filled coat that went past my knees. Add to that some warm gloves and a fluffy scarf (both purple of course!!!) and I was ready for the cold weather that had suddenly found its way to Canton, Ohio!
As we stepped up to pay for our purchases, the clerk seemed rather confused when I asked her to cut the tags off my items, so I could wear them out of the store. She looked around as if to say, “where is the coat you walked in with?” I smiled at her and said, “I just moved here from California and my jacket is no match for the weather.”
As we walked outside, my mother walking slowly and me all bundled up in my winter wear, I felt toasty warm and comfortable. It took me a moment to realize that I was no longer impatient with how slow my mom was walking! That’s when I understood the basis for my impatience. It wasn’t that I was impatient with my how slow my mom was walking, it was the fact that I was cold and uncomfortable.
How many times have you felt frustrated, angry, impatient or resentful? The problem is never the problem. Whenever we think a problem exists, it’s usually the end result of several things we chose to previously ignore. Had I purchased a coat when I first arrived, I would have been prepared for the cold weather.
Whenever we feel the urge to take out our frustrations on another person, we are giving in to negative energy. How we view our circumstances is a choice; we always have the power to change what we believe is a negative experience into a positive experience; simply by taking 100% responsibility for every thought, action or situation we create.
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Empowerment Sensei
The last time I googled Mother/Daughter relationships there were 2,840,000 results; that’s a LOT of women looking for answers!
Whether you love spending time with your mom or do everything in your power to stay away from your mom, mother/daughter relationships create both positive and negative energy.
Among the many things that can make unfulfilling mother/daughter relationships are drama, resentment, abuse, abandonment, trauma, neglect, feeling trapped, anger…
Unfulfilling relationships with your mother can be the cause of low self-esteem, low self-worth, low self-confidence, low self-image and a lack of self-love.
I know this to be true because most of my childhood was spent attempting to avoid my mother and most of my adult life was spent trying to understand her parenting choices while working to get past the mental, emotional and physical abuse that escalated to sexual abuse by the age of 12.
I never went so far as to stop speaking to her but the fact that she lived in Ohio and I live in California made it easy to avoid my mother until I had a life changing event that brought her back into my life!
But this isn’t about how my mom and I healed our relationship, this is about my choice to move from sunny southern California to Ohio and “Life With Mom”! My mom and I talk on the phone at least once a day and it was becoming more and more apparent to me that my mom and her husband could use my help. We talked about them moving to California but they have a home, friends, commitments, and roots in Ohio.
I work from home and work with clients via the internet, but how could I leave my life in California? That was the million-dollar question on my mind; I did a lot of meditating and asked the Universe to give me a sign, so I’d know what to do. I got my first sign, and immediately asked for another sign (after all, this was a BIG decision!). The Universe answered my request with another sign that Ohio was in my future, so I stopped resisting and prepared for the move.
When you are in true alignment with the Universe, everything seems effortless. I left the sunny beaches of California and have already experienced my first light snowfall. Now that the move is over, I am settling into “Life With Mom”. This is our opportunity to pick up where we left off when I published my book about mother daughter relationships.
“Life With Mom” includes doctor appointments, health issues, home maintenance, dietary needs, errands, and the joy of learning who we are as individuals and who we are as mother and daughter all these many years later, now that we’ve learned how to heal the child within!
If you want to read more about how I was able to heal my inner child and why my mom asked me to teach her how she could do the same, CLICK HERE or visit amazon.com and look for HEALING THE CHILD WITHIN Life Is All About Choices.
Once a woman understands she holds the power to create fulfilling relationships, rather than believing she must endure the toxic relationships that have been a part of her life, it becomes clear that her failed relationship was simply an illusion!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Empowerment Sensei