We all have something in our past that we’d like to forget.
~ The office holiday party; when we had too much to drink and co-workers love to remind us about the fun we can’t remember having~ The one-night stand
~ The investment we didn’t make
~ The job we left
~ The job we never accepted
~ The traumatic childhood
~ When we bombed on stage, in front of EVERYONE
~ The person who broke our heart we still find ourselves plotting revenge
~ Yelling uncontrollably to our children
~ The hurtful words we hurled at our spouse in a fit of anger
~ The addiction that has hurt the people we love
~ The affair
~ The marriage that ended before it got started
~ The memory of the emotional, mental, physical or sexual abuse
~ Wishing we’d been a better parent
~ Wishing we’d been raised by better parents
These experiences and others like them, can cause us to feel so disempowered that we spend countless hours, days, months and years trying to put them out of our mind and move on with our lives.
After a while we convince ourselves that we’ve moved on, dealt with it, and we’ve even managed to become very successful within our career and professional life.
But… the memories persist.
Why do the memories stay locked in our mind and seem to surface just when our professional lives are at an all time high? What causes the memories to persist like an itch that we absentmindedly scratch until suddenly we realize the itch is something we can no longer ignore?
Just when we’re at the height of our career, why do these memories, feelings and emotions keep cropping up at the most inopportune times causing us to feel so disempowered that we suddenly realize our personal life has now taken center stage in our life and we find our self, scrambling to regain a semblance of control?
The answer is, “The Box.” The Box is an imaginary container that we stuff our feelings and emotions into when we don’t really want to look at them or they’re too painful to face.
Sometimes the box has been closed for so long, we don’t even know it exists but it’s there, lurking in our subconscious mind, hovering on the outskirts of our memories like the hazy memory of a dream you can’t quite remember. It never really goes away, and you recognize it when you’re at your most vulnerable state; when you’re tired, overworked, overbooked, overloaded and overwhelmed.
This is when the box bursts open without your consent, causing you to relive the feelings and emotions you really believed you’d put behind you. This is when your peers see you as the overly emotional female that is losing her grip, triggering them to back away and causing you to lose your edge in your profession.
When this happens you, cry foul, it’s not fair, it’s a man’s world, blame others and feel like you’re losing control. The answer is simple but may be the hardest thing you ever do; the answer is to let go and get rid of the box.
The box will disappear when you finally give yourself permission to do the inner work that will release the feelings and emotions surrounding the memories of a time you felt so disempowered.
Get rid of the box, it’s the only way you’ll ever gain power over what lies inside. Get rid of the box; give yourself permission to take back your power! The world needs more women in business. If you're a woman in business, you owe it to yourself to release the emotions surrounding past experiences that are standing between you and your ability to rise to the top of your profession; but only you can choose when it’s time to let go of the box.