June 3, 2016; the date my brother had a motorcycle accident that resulted in Traumatic Brain Injury and another reason for my decision to move to Ohio.
Since my arrival two weeks ago, I have been in the emergency room with my sister-in-law three times to visit my brother. Unfortunately, there is not much information about Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and now that my brother is physically fine, there is still the question on every one of our minds, “What happens next? Will he ever come home? What is to become of our brother, father, husband, son, grandfather?
It was becoming more and more clear to me that the help I could offer was very limited from my home in California, so the Universe has guided me to be with my family. My brother is an Army Veteran; who is also a 100% disabled Veteran. I am learning a lot about how the VA takes care of their Vets and the red tape is staggering.
People keep asking us, “why does your brother keep ending up in the emergency room?” My answer, “because he is well enough to want to explore his world without the knowledge of how to do that. When children explore their world, they have parents who are there to love them, guide them and keep them safe. But an adult who is trying to understand what is happening in his world can get just as frustrated as a 3-year old trying to figure out a new toy, except in my brother’s case, he can’t be redirected when he gets frustrated. Have you ever tried to redirect an adult who doesn’t want to be redirected? They get annoyed, then they get angry, then they try to get what they want through physical force. We are now at the point of trying to understand how to help my brother, Michael, explore his world while keeping him and those around him safe from harm.”
The doctors are attempting to do this with drugs. In my opinion, medicine can be helpful when used correctly but when it’s used to keep a person in a docile state, the results are heartbreaking. At least, that’s what it felt like today when we visited Michael. When we walked into his room, he was on the floor, on his knees, bent over his bed, with his head on the bed. He didn’t even look up at us. Last week, when we saw him in the emergency room, we were laughing, telling jokes, watching Michael eat his dinner, then eat my dinner, then eat his wife’s dinner. Today, we couldn’t get Michael to feed himself, but he accepted my help to feed him his lunch.
Is it selfish to say, “I want my brother back?”
Is it selfish to say, “I want the doctors to stop doping my brother into a docile state?”
Is it selfish to say, “I want the VA to step up to the plate and treat the person instead of the symptoms?”
If it’s selfish to want all of this, them I am very selfish.
I believe everything happens for a purpose, and I believe that one day we will know the purpose of this position every member of our family is dealing with as a group as well as individually.
I believe; I believe with all my heart, but today my heart is breaking.
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Empowerment Sensei
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SENSEI: (sen - say) teacher; Sen means "before" and Sei means "born." The literal meaning of the Japanese word is "one who is born before"; thus, the one who is born before you is your teacher. This refers less to chronological age (some of my teachers have been young enough to be my children) than to the teacher's wisdom: In spiritual terms he or she is my elder, and thus my teacher.
My Mission: to have daily conversations that motivate, inspire and empower myself and others.