Divorce may be a common choice but the journey is unique to every woman. When a woman is walking her journey through divorce, there can be days when she feels like she’s walking through a fog so thick, she can't tell up from down or left from right.
When we are uncertain about which direction to move, we often find ourselves clinging to the past because it’s what we know. Familiar surroundings, people, places and events are something we try to cling to during divorce because staying with what we know seems less fearful than journeying into the unknown. Divorce is an ending that creates a new beginning and with every new beginning; we must let go of the past to make room for what is to come.
Letting go is an important part of the divorce process but the length of time it takes you to let go of feelings, emotions, drama, grief, loss, uncertainty and who you believed you were before your divorce is a choice only you can make.
When we are faced with an obstacle or challenge in our life, these 3 questions can help us determine our next step:
#1: What Belief/Feeling can I let go of at this very minute?
#2: What Belief/Feeling will I let go of at this very minute?
#3: What Belief/Feeling do I need to hold onto for a while longer?
Everything we experience in our life is meant to teach us something. When you believe things happen "TO" you rather than "FOR" you, you live your life in Victim Mode. When you learn how to let go of victim mode you then create a new belief around the possibility of living every moment in our life in a way that matters most to you.
Although this is a journey no other person can walk for you, there will be many people who will have their own thoughts, opinions and beliefs about what you should or shouldn’t do during your 3 Stages of Divorce.
The 3 Stages of Divorce are:
The journey through divorce is often a lonely path and along the way people will always have an opinion or “well-meaning advice” that is of little or no help because they often don’t realize they are advising you based on how they need you to show up in their life.
You have a right to go through this journey in a way that empowers you, you don’t owe your time or explanations to anyone. People come into our lives because they have something to share or teach us. When the lesson is over, some people will drift out of our lives. When you give yourself permission to let go of the person you have shared your life with up to this point, and make room for the people, places and events that your new beginning is creating for you, you begin to experience the power you possess on your journey through divorce.
This journey is unique to you, you have a choice to look for the negative or look for the positive; choose the one that gives you the opportunity to grow to your full potential!
Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei
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SENSEI: (sen - say) teacher; Sen means "before" and Sei means "born." The literal meaning of the Japanese word is "one who is born before"; thus, the one who is born before you is your teacher. This refers less to chronological age (some of my teachers have been young enough to be my children) than to the teacher's wisdom: In spiritual terms he or she is my elder, and thus my teacher.
My Mission: to have daily conversations that motivate, inspire and empower myself and others.