I overheard a family conversation recently where everyone was gathered to talk about what they want for Christmas.
The group was made up of 15 adults; all over the age of 21.
The conversation went something like this:
"What do you want for Christmas? I need some ideas"
"I don't know! I don't need anything"
"Well, you need to give me some ideas because I don't know what to buy for you."
"But I don't need anything, if I need something, I buy it when I need it."
And the conversation continued as each of them continued trying to pull ideas from each other.
When did Christmas become a time to stress ourselves out about buying something for someone that they don't really need?
What is the point?
I don't think that's what Christmas is about and yet this is a touchy subject for so many people. If pressed, they'll tell you, "But it's Christmas! I have to buy gifts; it's part of the Christmas tradition!"
Giving and receiving is about gratitude; the feeling of being grateful - gratitude cannot be forced.
Traditions begin with the best of intentions but there is a time to rethink the meaning behind them.
Traditions (AKA habits/patterns of choice) should fill a person with a feeling of abundance and gratitude.
There is so much talk about people who are less fortunate or who have fallen on hard times but this will never change as long as people follow the traditions of giving based on "that's the way we've always done it."
When the opportunity presents itself to evaluate traditions, habits and beliefs, only by making different choices will our lives become more enriched. Only by making different choices are we able to break the cycle of limiting beliefs, habits and traditions that no longer serve us.
As each year ends, we are given the opportunity to reevaluate how we want to end the year and how we want to enter the new year. We can choose to repeat past experiences, traditions and beliefs or we can be open to new beginnings.
When we hold on to traditions that are forced, the tradition loses it's true meaning. The same holds true with traditions of holding on to childhood memories of sadness, lack or loss during the holidays.
When a person uses Christmas as a time to remind themselves of everything they believe they were deprived of or lost, they are actually choosing to use what could be a joyful end of year celebration as an excuse to prove to themselves and others why their life isn't perfect.
We can choose to obsess over the tradition of forced giving or we can experience the joy of giving in a way that will create equal reciprocity in the act of both giving and receiving, this includes giving ourselves the gift of letting go of what no longer serves us!
People say they want their life to change but are often unwilling to start with something as simple as seasonal traditions.
Nothing in our lives will change if we aren't willing to start by asking ourselves one very important question, "if I continue to make these same choices, will my life be more enriched or will I continue to search for more meaning in my life and continually ask, "why am I here?"
Every person has the opportunity to give the best gift of all; the gift of letting go of past hurts, loss, slights, experiences and grudges. Every person has the ability to open up their hearts to the knowing that each one of us has the power to choose how we will make a difference in this world based on how we choose to show up every single day.
Family traditions can be a very touchy subject; younger generations would like things to change but are loathe to bring it up for fear of upsetting someone or "going against tradition" and being the outcast at the family gathering. But what if standing up for what you believe is the greatest gift you can give yourself this year? What if listening to your intuition instead of allowing yourself to be talked out of what you feel is right, is EXACTLY what you need to create that new beginning in your life? What if allowing your intuition to guide you is the first step to your physical, emotional and spiritual independence?
Gifts come in all sizes, shapes, forms and reasons - how will you give and receive this year?
Life truly is All About Choices!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
As an entrepreneur, are you charging what you're worth or what you believe you’re worth?
There is a huge difference between the two. Most entrepreneurs charge what they believe their business, products and services are worth because they haven’t yet learned the true value of who they are and why they deserve to create financial independence from their work.
Are you charging enough for the value you offer?
If you've created a business from something you enjoy doing, and you're still not charging what you're worth, here's something to think about...
The world needs you and your gift & talents (otherwise you wouldn't be here and you wouldn't have your talents).
Since the world needs you and what you offer, you deserve to spend all the time you need or want to flourish in your business.
If you're working from a mindset that's telling you, "I do this for fun, I can't possibly raise my prices" then I strongly urge you to take a look at your relationships (past & present).
The energy involved in relationships is the same energy that resistance is made of; so, if you're resisting receiving, it will show up in your business as well as your relationships.
If you don't want more money in your life, that's your decision, but the Universe is constantly seeking suitable channels to eliminate lack for us.
LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHOICES: you can either get on board and allow the Universe to fill you up with all the money and resources you desire or you can keep believing you're the ONLY person on the planet who doesn't deserve to be abundant!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
The LGBT Community uses the phrase "Coming Out" or "Coming Out of the Closet" as a way of self-disclosure.
When I was going through my divorce, I was fortunate to work with a Life Coach who specializes in working with the LGBT Community; specifically people who are experiencing challenges with "coming out".
I was drawn to this particular coach because I trusted what she stands for; every person deserves to be empowered through every life choice they make. Although I was not coming out from an LGBT perspective, I was coming out from the perspective of how I had shown up in my life thus far.
After 32 years of marriage, I began to realize how I had lived my life a certain way based on the beliefs about who I thought I was. Divorce was forcing me to "come out" to a very different lifestyle. I had identified myself through the eyes of a married woman, divorce was about to change all of that. So what happens when you can no longer identify with who you believe yourself to be?
I felt like giving up.
I’m not saying I thought about ending my life, I simply wanted to cease to exist. The pain, guilt, shame and self-judgement was overwhelming and life didn’t seem worth hanging on to. I kept wondering how it was possible for me to get to a point where I could think so little of myself, that ceasing to exist seemed like the only answer.
I had so many thoughts invading my mind that staying focused for any amount of time took a great deal of effort and willpower. The thoughts ran rampant through my mind; what if..., what will I do..., what happens when..., I'm no longer..., how can I possibly..., the fear of being judged by others didn't hold a candle to the self-judgement I heaped on myself at any given moment of the day. The question that went through my mind, with more force than the surf pounding the rocks was, "how will I ever survive this?"
At the time, I had no idea how much the Universe was supporting me throughout my time of self-disclosure by guiding me to work with a "coming out" life coach. She coached me to stay true to myself, my wants, my needs and what I needed to find the most empowered pieces of myself and lean on them during times of uncertainty.
When questions arose such as, "Can I still continue to do the work I love to do? Will people think less of me? Will I lose credibility with my audience? I feel like an impostor in my own life, will others view me as an impostor? I should be better at managing this battle that's raging within me during every waking moment of my life."
As I resolved to let go of the "self-judgement" and look at the beliefs that were permeating my every thought, the real Nancy began coming out of the closet in a big way!
It was exhilarating to speak my truth, to drag all of the thoughts around my fears, hopes and dreams out of the closet and look at them for what they are. They are part of me. They all make me who I am and I have a choice to decide which thoughts I will choose to build my beliefs around.
We all have the power to choose what thoughts will enforce our beliefs; thoughts of self-judgement or thoughts of self-empowerment. Whether we choose to come out of the closet or life pulls us out kicking and screaming, we have a choice. We can choose to give up or we can choose to be loud and proud about who we are, what we do and why we're so fabulous.
You only have one life to live, so when it's your time to come out of the closet, just remember; Life Is All About Choices. You can come out of the closet kicking and screaming or you can do it with pride! Be loud and proud about who you are and what you do so while letting the world know why you're so fabulous. After all, once you're out, you put yourself in a position to bring the light out in others as you watch your light shine even brighter!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
Who do you see when you look in the mirror?
Do you see:
The child you used to be?
A woman of strength?
A woman at peace?
Throughout our lives, we strive to "be" someone or something because we've been taught that when we "become" that woman , we'll be happy. We think we know who we are but most of us have accepted that who we are is a condition based on who we were.
As a child, you may have had a carefree life or you may have had trauma and challenges. Either way, it shaped who you grew to "be" and how you see yourself. When we want to "be" someone or something, we tend to measure our success by having to "become" who or what we want. If you can relate to this, somewhere along the way you've created a belief that something has to be "undone" before you can truly be happy and well thought of by yourself and others.
The truth is, we are ALL of the experiences of our past but have learned to compartmentalize every phase of our growth. We've been taught that we are the memories of our childhood self. We carry on beliefs, habits and family traditions because as we grow older, every aspect, choice and belief about who we "were" shapes where we believe we're going and who or what we want to be. And because of this, we are allowing who we believe we were to limit who we came here to be instead of celebrating every milestone for what it truly is, the ability to accept our greatness through our progress. We all have this ability, but not necessarily the belief.
And throughout all of this, we fear that we may never "be" who or what we want to become.
What if we learned to erase the fear? What if it's not about "becoming" anything but merely "un-becoming" our fears? What would it take for you to erase the fear of who you want to become or how you see who you used to be? The phrase, "if only I could go back and change..." is such a limiting phrase because life is meant to be lived going forward. Who you are today is not conditional on who you were yesterday and the days, months and years before today. Who you are today, and who you've been every day since your birth is God made manifest through you. Somewhere along your journey you may have forgotten this, but only fear can keep you from this truth.
So, who do you see when you look in the mirror?
If you're haunted by childhood memories that create regret, you're limiting your ability to be who you came here to be. If you're still judging yourself for choosing the wrong career, the bad investment, the divorce, the marriage, your parenting choices, and every morning you wake up wishing you could be anyone but who you are, you are choosing to live your life through fear.
The simple answer is, "the woman in your mirror" is a Spiritual Being, having a human experience as a woman in this lifetime. Everything you need or want, to have the most amazing human experience, is yours; all that is required of you is to "accept" your greatness!
When you look in the mirror, if you can only see the child who suffered at the hands of others, the woman who never quite "fit in", the mediocre student, the woman with one failed relationship after another, the woman who is in debt, the woman who is confused, anxious, searching, feeling lost or hopeless or wondering why your life is so difficult, if this is the woman you see staring back at you, you are limiting who you "ARE".
Why is it so much easier for you to see a woman born of fear instead of a woman born of love and light?
You tell yourself you have to be strong but that means you have a fear that you may be weak. You convince yourself that you need to be more but that means you have a fear that you are not enough. When will you believe that you ARE everything you were born to be? When will you stop allowing past memories, experiences and beliefs to limit who you truly are?
When will you look in the mirror and see only a Spiritual Being having a human experience as a woman in this lifetime looking back at you with a magnitude of love and light that has the ability to transcend any fear based belief that would try to convince you that you could possibly be less than who you truly are?
You came here with gifts and talents that are unique to you; the world is waiting for you to believe in who you are so everyone in it can benefit from your gifts and talents. Why do you deny your greatness? Who told you that you must limit how you share yourself with the world? Who told you that you must censor your greatness? To withhold your gifts and talents from the world is an act of great selfishness that is limiting you from going out into the world and being of great service to others.
Enjoy your pictures, enjoy your memories, but above all, never give them power over you. Never allow how you see your "past self" as a reason to limit who you came here to be.
Life Is All About Choices - choose to release your fear based beliefs and you will see only the gift that is "YOU" smiling back at you from your mirror; she's telling you that you are amazing, you are loved and you are limitless!
The only question that remains is this, "where will you go from here?"
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei at www.MasteringYourBeliefs.com
Every morning as you lie in bed transitioning from sleep to wakefulness, you have the ability to choose your thoughts for the day. Whatever thoughts you choose, will determine how you'll spend your day.
Given the choice, most people would tell you they prefer to choose thoughts that will bring them feelings of gratitude, happiness, joy, creativity, wealth, mindfulness, love, fun, being healthy and a sense of belonging.
Most people would tell you they would never consciously choose a thought that will bring them shame, excuses, anger, doubt, guilt, judgment, or fear.
If we're able to choose the thoughts we think, why are so many people unhappy when they start their day? Why do they dread going to work? Why do they wake up only to wish they could fall back to sleep and sleep the day away? The answer is simple; it's about the thoughts you think as you're falling asleep!
What if you went to sleep the night before with something that was weighing you down in mind, body or spirit? Perhaps you were listening to a newscaster spreading fear based information or reading something that was unsettling to you. Perhaps you laid in bed doubting your gifts, talents and abilities or judging yourself based on how you perceive who you are or what you're capable of. The subconscious mind is working 24/7, whether you're awake or asleep and has the ability to absorb unsettling information while you sleep.
Now imagine you wake up, it's a brand new day with new opportunities but the thoughts you choose are based on the information your subconscious mind has been working on while you slept. When you wake up, the thoughts that were running through your mind all night will determine how you feel when you wake up (you'll either feel positive and looking forward to your day or you'll wake with feelings of dread and look for reasons to avoid your day), and every single one of your thoughts is associated with a feeling; either positive or negative.
Make no mistake, your feelings are running your life.
If you're allowing negative thoughts, feelings and emotions to create your beliefs, how can you possibly believe you deserve to choose opportunities that will bring you feelings of gratitude, happiness, joy, creativity, wealth, mindfulness, love, fun, being healthy and a sense of belonging?
How you face your day is a choice; you simply need to understand how your mind formulates the beliefs that determine what your choices will be! What price have you been paying for your negative thoughts? Have you found yourself locked behind thoughts of shame, excuses, anger, doubt, guilt, judgment, or fear without a clear understanding of how to get out?
Pay close attention to your self-talk (that little voice inside your head that starts talking to you during moments of doubt or uncertainty) because your self-talk can whisk you away to thoughts of negativity faster than a virus spreading through your computer!
Every person has the key to unlock the thoughts of uncertainty within their mind. When you master your beliefs, you're discovering the beliefs behind your current mindset (perceived problem), the feelings and emotions attached to that belief(s) and how you can transmute your current belief(s) to raise your vibrational energy, giving you the power to make choices from a mindset of "what is possible" rather than a mindset based on past experiences (yours or others).
Whatever thoughts you may be facing in your life, you alone hold the power to choose which thoughts you will feed, and which thoughts deserve to be eliminated; this gives you the power over how you'll spend your day! The choice is yours ~ when you want to experience feelings of gratitude, happiness, joy, creativity, wealth, mindfulness, love, fun, being healthy and a sense of belonging more than you believe you deserve to experience shame, excuses, anger, doubt, guilt, judgment, or fear; I invite you to be more mindful of your self-talk and the thoughts it's planting in your mind!
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei
Ladies, when was the last time you thought about how trauma can affect your everyday choices; specifically when the trauma is a result of sexual abuse in any form. Trauma that is a result of being victimized by another person can shadow every area of your life. The shadow of sexual trauma and/or abuse can follow you into your dreams, your relationships, your career and then the feelings and emotions that stem from that trauma can become overwhelming to the point of debilitating.
Sexual trauma can also hold you back when marketing your business, products or services. When you're still experiencing the shadow effects of sexual trauma, it can take the lead in your thoughts.
99% of the thoughts you're thinking today are the same thoughts you had yesterday and will be the same thoughts you have tomorrow unless you change your mindset.
With this knowledge, any woman who finds herself struggling with the traumatic after-effects of sexual abuse such as: self-sabotaging thoughts that can include low self-worth, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, or the ever looming memory of something that was forced upon her, may also be struggling to find her voice when marketing her business.
Experts estimate that the mind thinks between 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day. That's an average of 2,500 – 3,300 thoughts per hour.
During that hour, if you're presenting your business, products or services and have no idea of the thoughts that are running through your mind, you may be sabotaging yourself when marketing your business and not even be aware of it! Then you'll walk away and start doubting yourself as you think, "I was so sure that person was interested in my work, I don't understand why they weren't open to my message."
This is when we doubt our capabilities as an entrepreneur because it never occurs to us that the underlying thoughts that are running through our mind are also sending out a strong negative energy to the very person we were hoping to impress or share our message with. This will result in the person being turned off by your energy but not being able to explain the uneasy feeling they have when talking with you. Because you're unaware of the negative energy, thoughts, feelings and emotions you're emitting, you fall down the rabbit hole of self-doubt. And this cycle will happen over and over and over again until you can release the negative emotions associated with every traumatic experience.
There is an answer to being able to eliminate these self-sabotaging thoughts and beliefs and it entails being able to "Go Beyond Your Story". Your story has been created from your memories; memories exist only in your past, so ask yourself, "what past experiences have I created my story from?
Your Story is what you tell people when you want them to know who you are. It's also something you use to tell yourself what you're incapable of, why you'll never succeed, that you don't have the right education, the right social status, or why something in your past has convinced you that you don't deserve to live a life of prosperity and abundance; emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” ― Carl Jung
When you Go Beyond Your Story, you create your life from this moment forward and you become more empowered when marketing your message, business or products.
Often when clients choose to work with me, they believe they have a problem with getting their message across to potential clients. But the problem is never the problem; more often, it's their mindset that's holding them back because their mindset stems from their beliefs that they've held onto and how it's shaped their story about who they believe they are and how successful they deserve to be.
Often times we'll tell ourselves that what happened is in the past. We aren't going to allow it to effect any part of our life, our relationships, or our careers. We may even be able to do a great job of telling ourselves that we've put the past in the past and that's where it'll stay. We are strong, vigilant, successful career oriented women who work hard for what we have and deserve the recognition for the work that we've done. And it can all come unraveled like a ball of yarn rolling across the floor the minute any part of the shadow effects of past sexual trauma starts to encroach on our thoughts. Because when that shadow begins to loom over you, it brings feelings and emotions that you were unprepared to deal with during a business transaction (especially when you had yourself convinced that you'd put it behind you).
If you're wondering if past sexual trauma is encroaching into any area of how you show up in your personal or professional life, all you have to do is pay attention to your story. Are you able to talk about what happened without falling apart emotionally? Does telling your story bring up negative feelings and emotions of self-loathing, self-judgement or still make you angry when you think about it? If so, learning to Go Beyond Your Story will give you back your power and put an end to the negative feelings and emotions that can crop up at the most inopportune times.
When your story keeps you from going after the promotion, speaking in front of groups of people, making yourself heard, feeling valued in your personal and professional life or convinces you that you are "less than" in any area of your life, you owe yourself the experience of learning to Go Beyond Your Story. When you've talked about the experience, allowed yourself to feel every emotion, examine every belief and then Master Your Beliefs around the experience, you will free your mind, your thoughts and your beliefs so they can no longer hold you hostage in any situation that may arise within your personal and professional life.
You have the power to dream BIGGER than your story. You have the power to live BIGGER than your story and you have the power to Go Beyond Your Story. Every woman deserves to release the emotional bondage that ensues after sexual trauma or abuse. Every woman deserves to believe in her value; how talented, gifted, loved and special she is.
YOU are a woman of Inner Strength; you deserve to experience financial abundance and freedom for sharing your gifts and talents with the world. If you have an old story that still has negative emotions associated with it, you're giving your story the power to hold you back from the very person you're meant to be. You may also find that by holding onto your story, you've been unable to charge what your worth because you yourself do not value your worth. When this happens, you'll offer discounts, coupons or undercharge for your services or products. You deserve so much more because you're worth so much more!
The world is waiting for you. The world is waiting for the gifts and talents that only you can share. Only you have the power to choose how much longer you're willing to wait to share YOU with the world!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Empowerment Sensei
You wake up and don't "FEEL" like going to work; you decide to go anyway but throughout the day, you know you're not giving 100% of yourself to your work.
Your spouse/partner wants to have a romantic evening but you're exhausted and would rather take a hot shower and go to sleep. You "FEEL" guilty for wanting to put your needs first so you don't.
Your mother has found yet another reason to criticize you and makes you "FEEL" like you're five years old again.
You live thousands of miles away from your parents but they're getting too old to take care of themselves and, since you're single, you "FEEL" obligated to move closer to help take care of their needs.
Your business partner wants to make some changes in the business that you don't agree with but since she is the major financial contributor to the business, you "FEEL" like you have to agree with her suggestions.
It doesn't matter if it's business or personal, your feelings are always running your life.
So what happens when you don't "FEEL" like giving 100% at work, or putting someone else's needs before your own? What happens when you want the approval of another person but never seem to get it or you "FEEL" too disempowered to say what's really on your mind?
Whether you realize it or not, your feelings are always running your life and your feelings are based on your beliefs. When your feelings seem to be overtaking your life you can take back your power by asking yourself "what would happen if..."
> I don't go to work today (or I go but give myself a break for not showing up 100%)
> I put my needs before the the needs of someone else
> I stopped needing my mother's approval
> I found another way to help my parents
> I speak up and tell my business partner what's really on my mind
You'll answer these questions based on what you "believe" the outcome will be. If you believe the only viable outcome involves some scenario where you look like the bad guy, chances are you'll make a decision that works out better for someone else than for yourself.
When you're ready to stop making choices that puts the wants and needs of others before your own, here are 3 tips that may help you be more empowered in your life!
When you question your beliefs, the feelings around the belief will change! When you start feeling more positive, you're actually changing your vibrational energy. Here's the best part, abundance is a vibration! Once you learn how to use your feelings to raise your vibrational energy, you will also begin to feel more abundance within your life; feelings such as joy, happiness, love, gratitude and more!
I don't know about you, but the feelings of abundance are exactly the kind of feelings I'm happy to have running my life!
Life Is All About Choices!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei at Mastering Your Beliefs
You've done the work, you've earned the right to be where you are, you've set up your business, so where are all the clients?
If you can relate to this question, here's another question for you, "why are you asking yourself where all of your clients are?"
Listen up because this is a POWERFUL message I'm about to share with you. It can literally take you from zero clients to an infinite number of clients, IF you're willing to be honest with yourself and do the work.
Think about my question for a minute. When you ask yourself, "where are all the clients" what does it feel like to you? Sit with this question for at least 10 minutes when you won't be disturbed. Turn off your electronic devices and give yourself 10 minutes to "go within". You can do that for yourself, right? You can give yourself 10 minutes.
Now ask yourself the question again, "where are all the clients?"
Does this question bring up feelings of positivity or feelings of negativity? I'm going to assume your answer is, "it brings up feelings of negativity." Now think of the feelings that are washing over you and write them down. What are those feelings? If your answer is that you're feeling depressed, hopeless, angry, fearful, sad - these are surface emotions (emotions are felt in the body and feelings are felt in the mind). Surface emotions are an indication that we're on the right track with what we're thinking about but we haven't gone deep enough. When you go deeper, you'll find that your answers are more concise; such as, "I feel intimidated, unworthy, not good enough, self-conscious". These are the feelings that are tumbling around in your mind, day in and day out, and those feelings create a vibration within you. That vibration is attracting the same level of vibration in all areas of your life - YOU are creating your life with every thought, word and action based on how you're "feeling".
The words you speak, the thoughts you think, the actions you take are all dependent on the vibration you're sending out. So when you ask yourself, "where are all the clients" you're actually sitting in a low vibrational energy that is repelling your clients.
Would you like to change that?
Here is a way to re-frame your question: "What action can I take today that will put me in contact with my ideal clients?" Do you see the difference in your energy when you ask this question? Asking the question this way gives you a sense of hope because your changing your "feeling nature" around your question. This is a power question - this question empowers you because it lets you know that you have the power to do something that can attract what you want the most.
Simply by re-framing your question, you give yourself the power to change your energy. When we think negative thoughts, we vibrate on a low energy frequency. When we think positive thoughts, we vibrate on a higher energy frequency. This is the way the law of attraction throughout the Universe works. You can change the words you use but if you don't change your energy frequency, you will attract what you're "feeling" and not what you're saying. This is why affirmations only get you half-way to your dreams and goals. Every word you speak has a feeling attached to it and that feeling has a vibrational energy that you're sending out into the Universe to multiply.
Every thought is based on a belief and every belief is associated with a feeling. When you Master Your Beliefs, you change your thoughts and in turn elevate your energy! You may be reading this and telling yourself, "it can't be that easy." But it is that easy! Life is meant to be easy but we make it so hard. Somewhere along our life's journey we created a belief that life is hard, we have to work hard and we have to wear ourselves out before we can experience our good. But that's just a belief.
You have the power to turn everything around this very moment. You are more powerful than you can ever imagine.
When you change your thoughts, the feelings change, the energy changes and what you're bringing into your life changes; including the number of clients you're looking for!
Now it's your turn; you can choose to live your life the hard way or the easy way; Life Is All About Choices!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
Who are you, really?
Are you the person others can count on? Are you always there when someone needs to talk, a ride to the airport, or someone to help them move?
What about you? Can you count on others the way they can count on you or do you sometimes find yourself not asking for help because "you don't want to bother anyone or impose?"
If you've ever complained when you really needed someone and they weren't there for you, did they, all of a sudden, come running to your aid or do you find it happening over and over?
What about family? What about all those times when you've shared a new thought, idea or dream, only to have the people closest to you tell you why, "it'll never work?" When that happens, you can feel like they aren't being there for you when you really wanted or needed their support (but you've learned let it go because, after all, "family is family").
If you find yourself constantly putting the needs of others before your own, the cost of being who you are can be quite high! The simple truth is, when your needs are being met, you feel happy, content, safe, secure and empowered.
It can be such a foreign concept for us to actually believe why putting our needs and wants first, is the most empowering choice we can make for ourselves. But here's the caveat to that, when someone else puts his or her needs before your own, how do you react? Do you feel slighted, angry, judgmental, vindictive or hurt? So how do you have your needs met while allowing others to have their needs met as well?
Check your thoughts, did you act with love or with malicious intent? Are you open to feedback? If your intentions come from love but others see it differently, are you open to learning how others view your delivery or actions, or are you defensive? When someone gives you loving, constructive criticism, how do you handle it?
Learn not to take anything personally: how someone treats you is their karma; how you react is yours. When someone says or does something that invokes your negative self-talk, instead of beating yourself up over whatever is going on in your mind, ask yourself "WHY" it bothered you.
99% of the thoughts you're thinking today are the same thoughts you had yesterday and will be the same thoughts you have tomorrow unless you change your mindset. Stanford studies have concluded that 90% of all self-talk is negative; that means 90% of what you're saying to yourself, inside your own mind, is self-critical.
Every single person that comes into our lives is here to gift us with something to learn about ourselves; that includes the people we like and the people we don't like.
But what happens when someone you like says or does something to piss you off? How do you deal with it.
When someone says or does something that makes you angry or defensive, keep in mind that the only way it can bother you is if there is truth to what they're showing you. You may not like hearing it and you may not be ready to take a look at it but it can't bother you if there is no element of truth to what they're saying.
You may not be ready to hear it, you may not want to admit it, but Life Is All About Choices! You can choose to learn something about yourself and try to find a way to blame it on someone else or you can choose to take 100% responsibility for what you're learning and make some changes.
Allow every person in your life to have their perception of you while maintaining your own empowered perception of yourself. What others think of you is merely a reflection of how they view the world and everything in it. Friends and family can be the most disappointing to us because we naturally want someone who is important to us to approve or support what we're doing. But if that person is vibrating on a different energy frequency than you, they can't possibly understand or support what you're sharing. Just like you can't turn on the sports channel to watch a cooking show, you can't expect someone who is on a lower energetic frequency than you to be tuned into the energy of your thoughts and words.
If you truly want your dreams to be bigger than your fears, take 100% responsibility for your choices! If you tend to blame rather than take responsibility, the cost to yourself and others can be very high. You'll either take the risk of alienating someone special to you or you'll walk away feeling like you've been taken advantage of, once again.
Life is all about choices. We can see others as being non-supportive, rude, hurtful or malicious or we can simply shrug it off and stay empowered by assuming they're showing signs of having a perceptual handicap.
Your job is to know your value, who you are and what you're here to bring to the world. Once you know that, you'll have built such a solid foundation on which to build your life that no person, place or condition can pull it down. Now that's a cost worth investing in!
Ciao for now,
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
I used to tell my story because I was raised to believe it was a representation of who I am.
I used to believe that, but I don't believe it anymore!
I used to share the traumas of my childhood before I understood that those traumas also created beliefs within my mind that reinforced my lack of self-worth.
One of the traumas that created a belief within me was about going hungry. There never seemed to be enough food in our house, in fact most of our food and clothing was donated by the church. That might sound like something to be grateful for but not when you're hungry and the only thing to eat is Lima beans. As a child, I had no idea I was creating self-limiting beliefs based on the abundance or lack of generosity from others.
Our beliefs are created between the ages of birth to about 8 years of age; every belief we have is based on something we were taught as children by our caregivers or how we intuited what our caregivers taught us. As we grow into adults, we bring those beliefs with us into adulthood, without even questioning why we believe them. Until we're exposed to an opportunity to question our beliefs we will live our adult lives making choices based on beliefs we incurred in childhood - whether those beliefs support us or hinder us.
This is how we learn to create our world from the outside in; we learn that the source of our supply is based on people, places or conditions in our life, such as the generosity of others. The generosity of others can include (but certainly isn't limited to) the type of grades you get in school (self-esteem), whether you get the job (self-confidence), accepted into your college of choice (self-image), being accepted by your peers (self-worth) if someone will buy your products or services (self-sufficiency). This type of thinking is how people create their lives from the outside in.
As I understand that abundance in the physical world is an out-picturing of my beliefs, I began to realize how the story that my child-self had created was blocking my flow of abundance. I began to realize how one belief creates another belief because it is the only way for our mind to validate the story.
It wasn't until I learned to "go beyond my story" that I was able to free my mind of the limiting beliefs to make way for the abundance that was waiting to come pouring forth into my life! Thus, I began living and creating my life from the inside out, the vibration of abundance.
I've found that a first step to "Go Beyond Your Story" can be to ask yourself 3 questions:
1. What feeling/belief can I let go of right now?
2. What feeling/belief will I let go of right now?
3. What feeling/belief do I need to hold onto for just a little while longer?
The important thing to remember is HOWEVER you answer these questions, trust that you have the right answer. Sometimes questioning our beliefs can create fear because our mind tells us we're questioning the very foundation of who we believe we are (that's exactly what we're doing but everyone needs to process their thoughts in their own time frame and not according to someone else's). Be kind to yourself. Learn to sit in silence, ask your questions and be open to the answers.
When you listen for the answers to your questions, all you need to do is ask, "what if?" "What if that (awful, sad, traumatic, embarrassing, hurtful) experience does not define who I am?"
So go ahead and share your story; but always be ready to "Go Beyond Your Story" because that's how you create a new belief about who you are and why you're so fabulous, that's when you will free your mind!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei