Ladies, when was the last time you thought about how trauma can affect your everyday choices; specifically when the trauma is a result of sexual abuse in any form. Trauma that is a result of being victimized by another person can shadow every area of your life. The shadow of sexual trauma and/or abuse can follow you into your dreams, your relationships, your career and then the feelings and emotions that stem from that trauma can become overwhelming to the point of debilitating.
Sexual trauma can also hold you back when marketing your business, products or services. When you're still experiencing the shadow effects of sexual trauma, it can take the lead in your thoughts.
99% of the thoughts you're thinking today are the same thoughts you had yesterday and will be the same thoughts you have tomorrow unless you change your mindset.
With this knowledge, any woman who finds herself struggling with the traumatic after-effects of sexual abuse such as: self-sabotaging thoughts that can include low self-worth, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, or the ever looming memory of something that was forced upon her, may also be struggling to find her voice when marketing her business.
Experts estimate that the mind thinks between 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day. That's an average of 2,500 – 3,300 thoughts per hour.
During that hour, if you're presenting your business, products or services and have no idea of the thoughts that are running through your mind, you may be sabotaging yourself when marketing your business and not even be aware of it! Then you'll walk away and start doubting yourself as you think, "I was so sure that person was interested in my work, I don't understand why they weren't open to my message."
This is when we doubt our capabilities as an entrepreneur because it never occurs to us that the underlying thoughts that are running through our mind are also sending out a strong negative energy to the very person we were hoping to impress or share our message with. This will result in the person being turned off by your energy but not being able to explain the uneasy feeling they have when talking with you. Because you're unaware of the negative energy, thoughts, feelings and emotions you're emitting, you fall down the rabbit hole of self-doubt. And this cycle will happen over and over and over again until you can release the negative emotions associated with every traumatic experience.
There is an answer to being able to eliminate these self-sabotaging thoughts and beliefs and it entails being able to "Go Beyond Your Story". Your story has been created from your memories; memories exist only in your past, so ask yourself, "what past experiences have I created my story from?
Your Story is what you tell people when you want them to know who you are. It's also something you use to tell yourself what you're incapable of, why you'll never succeed, that you don't have the right education, the right social status, or why something in your past has convinced you that you don't deserve to live a life of prosperity and abundance; emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” ― Carl Jung
When you Go Beyond Your Story, you create your life from this moment forward and you become more empowered when marketing your message, business or products.
Often when clients choose to work with me, they believe they have a problem with getting their message across to potential clients. But the problem is never the problem; more often, it's their mindset that's holding them back because their mindset stems from their beliefs that they've held onto and how it's shaped their story about who they believe they are and how successful they deserve to be.
Often times we'll tell ourselves that what happened is in the past. We aren't going to allow it to effect any part of our life, our relationships, or our careers. We may even be able to do a great job of telling ourselves that we've put the past in the past and that's where it'll stay. We are strong, vigilant, successful career oriented women who work hard for what we have and deserve the recognition for the work that we've done. And it can all come unraveled like a ball of yarn rolling across the floor the minute any part of the shadow effects of past sexual trauma starts to encroach on our thoughts. Because when that shadow begins to loom over you, it brings feelings and emotions that you were unprepared to deal with during a business transaction (especially when you had yourself convinced that you'd put it behind you).
If you're wondering if past sexual trauma is encroaching into any area of how you show up in your personal or professional life, all you have to do is pay attention to your story. Are you able to talk about what happened without falling apart emotionally? Does telling your story bring up negative feelings and emotions of self-loathing, self-judgement or still make you angry when you think about it? If so, learning to Go Beyond Your Story will give you back your power and put an end to the negative feelings and emotions that can crop up at the most inopportune times.
When your story keeps you from going after the promotion, speaking in front of groups of people, making yourself heard, feeling valued in your personal and professional life or convinces you that you are "less than" in any area of your life, you owe yourself the experience of learning to Go Beyond Your Story. When you've talked about the experience, allowed yourself to feel every emotion, examine every belief and then Master Your Beliefs around the experience, you will free your mind, your thoughts and your beliefs so they can no longer hold you hostage in any situation that may arise within your personal and professional life.
You have the power to dream BIGGER than your story. You have the power to live BIGGER than your story and you have the power to Go Beyond Your Story. Every woman deserves to release the emotional bondage that ensues after sexual trauma or abuse. Every woman deserves to believe in her value; how talented, gifted, loved and special she is.
YOU are a woman of Inner Strength; you deserve to experience financial abundance and freedom for sharing your gifts and talents with the world. If you have an old story that still has negative emotions associated with it, you're giving your story the power to hold you back from the very person you're meant to be. You may also find that by holding onto your story, you've been unable to charge what your worth because you yourself do not value your worth. When this happens, you'll offer discounts, coupons or undercharge for your services or products. You deserve so much more because you're worth so much more!
The world is waiting for you. The world is waiting for the gifts and talents that only you can share. Only you have the power to choose how much longer you're willing to wait to share YOU with the world!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Empowerment Sensei
You wake up and don't "FEEL" like going to work; you decide to go anyway but throughout the day, you know you're not giving 100% of yourself to your work.
Your spouse/partner wants to have a romantic evening but you're exhausted and would rather take a hot shower and go to sleep. You "FEEL" guilty for wanting to put your needs first so you don't.
Your mother has found yet another reason to criticize you and makes you "FEEL" like you're five years old again.
You live thousands of miles away from your parents but they're getting too old to take care of themselves and, since you're single, you "FEEL" obligated to move closer to help take care of their needs.
Your business partner wants to make some changes in the business that you don't agree with but since she is the major financial contributor to the business, you "FEEL" like you have to agree with her suggestions.
It doesn't matter if it's business or personal, your feelings are always running your life.
So what happens when you don't "FEEL" like giving 100% at work, or putting someone else's needs before your own? What happens when you want the approval of another person but never seem to get it or you "FEEL" too disempowered to say what's really on your mind?
Whether you realize it or not, your feelings are always running your life and your feelings are based on your beliefs. When your feelings seem to be overtaking your life you can take back your power by asking yourself "what would happen if..."
> I don't go to work today (or I go but give myself a break for not showing up 100%)
> I put my needs before the the needs of someone else
> I stopped needing my mother's approval
> I found another way to help my parents
> I speak up and tell my business partner what's really on my mind
You'll answer these questions based on what you "believe" the outcome will be. If you believe the only viable outcome involves some scenario where you look like the bad guy, chances are you'll make a decision that works out better for someone else than for yourself.
When you're ready to stop making choices that puts the wants and needs of others before your own, here are 3 tips that may help you be more empowered in your life!
When you question your beliefs, the feelings around the belief will change! When you start feeling more positive, you're actually changing your vibrational energy. Here's the best part, abundance is a vibration! Once you learn how to use your feelings to raise your vibrational energy, you will also begin to feel more abundance within your life; feelings such as joy, happiness, love, gratitude and more!
I don't know about you, but the feelings of abundance are exactly the kind of feelings I'm happy to have running my life!
Life Is All About Choices!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei at Mastering Your Beliefs
You've done the work, you've earned the right to be where you are, you've set up your business, so where are all the clients?
If you can relate to this question, here's another question for you, "why are you asking yourself where all of your clients are?"
Listen up because this is a POWERFUL message I'm about to share with you. It can literally take you from zero clients to an infinite number of clients, IF you're willing to be honest with yourself and do the work.
Think about my question for a minute. When you ask yourself, "where are all the clients" what does it feel like to you? Sit with this question for at least 10 minutes when you won't be disturbed. Turn off your electronic devices and give yourself 10 minutes to "go within". You can do that for yourself, right? You can give yourself 10 minutes.
Now ask yourself the question again, "where are all the clients?"
Does this question bring up feelings of positivity or feelings of negativity? I'm going to assume your answer is, "it brings up feelings of negativity." Now think of the feelings that are washing over you and write them down. What are those feelings? If your answer is that you're feeling depressed, hopeless, angry, fearful, sad - these are surface emotions (emotions are felt in the body and feelings are felt in the mind). Surface emotions are an indication that we're on the right track with what we're thinking about but we haven't gone deep enough. When you go deeper, you'll find that your answers are more concise; such as, "I feel intimidated, unworthy, not good enough, self-conscious". These are the feelings that are tumbling around in your mind, day in and day out, and those feelings create a vibration within you. That vibration is attracting the same level of vibration in all areas of your life - YOU are creating your life with every thought, word and action based on how you're "feeling".
The words you speak, the thoughts you think, the actions you take are all dependent on the vibration you're sending out. So when you ask yourself, "where are all the clients" you're actually sitting in a low vibrational energy that is repelling your clients.
Would you like to change that?
Here is a way to re-frame your question: "What action can I take today that will put me in contact with my ideal clients?" Do you see the difference in your energy when you ask this question? Asking the question this way gives you a sense of hope because your changing your "feeling nature" around your question. This is a power question - this question empowers you because it lets you know that you have the power to do something that can attract what you want the most.
Simply by re-framing your question, you give yourself the power to change your energy. When we think negative thoughts, we vibrate on a low energy frequency. When we think positive thoughts, we vibrate on a higher energy frequency. This is the way the law of attraction throughout the Universe works. You can change the words you use but if you don't change your energy frequency, you will attract what you're "feeling" and not what you're saying. This is why affirmations only get you half-way to your dreams and goals. Every word you speak has a feeling attached to it and that feeling has a vibrational energy that you're sending out into the Universe to multiply.
Every thought is based on a belief and every belief is associated with a feeling. When you Master Your Beliefs, you change your thoughts and in turn elevate your energy! You may be reading this and telling yourself, "it can't be that easy." But it is that easy! Life is meant to be easy but we make it so hard. Somewhere along our life's journey we created a belief that life is hard, we have to work hard and we have to wear ourselves out before we can experience our good. But that's just a belief.
You have the power to turn everything around this very moment. You are more powerful than you can ever imagine.
When you change your thoughts, the feelings change, the energy changes and what you're bringing into your life changes; including the number of clients you're looking for!
Now it's your turn; you can choose to live your life the hard way or the easy way; Life Is All About Choices!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
Who are you, really?
Are you the person others can count on? Are you always there when someone needs to talk, a ride to the airport, or someone to help them move?
What about you? Can you count on others the way they can count on you or do you sometimes find yourself not asking for help because "you don't want to bother anyone or impose?"
If you've ever complained when you really needed someone and they weren't there for you, did they, all of a sudden, come running to your aid or do you find it happening over and over?
What about family? What about all those times when you've shared a new thought, idea or dream, only to have the people closest to you tell you why, "it'll never work?" When that happens, you can feel like they aren't being there for you when you really wanted or needed their support (but you've learned let it go because, after all, "family is family").
If you find yourself constantly putting the needs of others before your own, the cost of being who you are can be quite high! The simple truth is, when your needs are being met, you feel happy, content, safe, secure and empowered.
It can be such a foreign concept for us to actually believe why putting our needs and wants first, is the most empowering choice we can make for ourselves. But here's the caveat to that, when someone else puts his or her needs before your own, how do you react? Do you feel slighted, angry, judgmental, vindictive or hurt? So how do you have your needs met while allowing others to have their needs met as well?
Check your thoughts, did you act with love or with malicious intent? Are you open to feedback? If your intentions come from love but others see it differently, are you open to learning how others view your delivery or actions, or are you defensive? When someone gives you loving, constructive criticism, how do you handle it?
Learn not to take anything personally: how someone treats you is their karma; how you react is yours. When someone says or does something that invokes your negative self-talk, instead of beating yourself up over whatever is going on in your mind, ask yourself "WHY" it bothered you.
99% of the thoughts you're thinking today are the same thoughts you had yesterday and will be the same thoughts you have tomorrow unless you change your mindset. Stanford studies have concluded that 90% of all self-talk is negative; that means 90% of what you're saying to yourself, inside your own mind, is self-critical.
Every single person that comes into our lives is here to gift us with something to learn about ourselves; that includes the people we like and the people we don't like.
But what happens when someone you like says or does something to piss you off? How do you deal with it.
When someone says or does something that makes you angry or defensive, keep in mind that the only way it can bother you is if there is truth to what they're showing you. You may not like hearing it and you may not be ready to take a look at it but it can't bother you if there is no element of truth to what they're saying.
You may not be ready to hear it, you may not want to admit it, but Life Is All About Choices! You can choose to learn something about yourself and try to find a way to blame it on someone else or you can choose to take 100% responsibility for what you're learning and make some changes.
Allow every person in your life to have their perception of you while maintaining your own empowered perception of yourself. What others think of you is merely a reflection of how they view the world and everything in it. Friends and family can be the most disappointing to us because we naturally want someone who is important to us to approve or support what we're doing. But if that person is vibrating on a different energy frequency than you, they can't possibly understand or support what you're sharing. Just like you can't turn on the sports channel to watch a cooking show, you can't expect someone who is on a lower energetic frequency than you to be tuned into the energy of your thoughts and words.
If you truly want your dreams to be bigger than your fears, take 100% responsibility for your choices! If you tend to blame rather than take responsibility, the cost to yourself and others can be very high. You'll either take the risk of alienating someone special to you or you'll walk away feeling like you've been taken advantage of, once again.
Life is all about choices. We can see others as being non-supportive, rude, hurtful or malicious or we can simply shrug it off and stay empowered by assuming they're showing signs of having a perceptual handicap.
Your job is to know your value, who you are and what you're here to bring to the world. Once you know that, you'll have built such a solid foundation on which to build your life that no person, place or condition can pull it down. Now that's a cost worth investing in!
Ciao for now,
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
I used to tell my story because I was raised to believe it was a representation of who I am.
I used to believe that, but I don't believe it anymore!
I used to share the traumas of my childhood before I understood that those traumas also created beliefs within my mind that reinforced my lack of self-worth.
One of the traumas that created a belief within me was about going hungry. There never seemed to be enough food in our house, in fact most of our food and clothing was donated by the church. That might sound like something to be grateful for but not when you're hungry and the only thing to eat is Lima beans. As a child, I had no idea I was creating self-limiting beliefs based on the abundance or lack of generosity from others.
Our beliefs are created between the ages of birth to about 8 years of age; every belief we have is based on something we were taught as children by our caregivers or how we intuited what our caregivers taught us. As we grow into adults, we bring those beliefs with us into adulthood, without even questioning why we believe them. Until we're exposed to an opportunity to question our beliefs we will live our adult lives making choices based on beliefs we incurred in childhood - whether those beliefs support us or hinder us.
This is how we learn to create our world from the outside in; we learn that the source of our supply is based on people, places or conditions in our life, such as the generosity of others. The generosity of others can include (but certainly isn't limited to) the type of grades you get in school (self-esteem), whether you get the job (self-confidence), accepted into your college of choice (self-image), being accepted by your peers (self-worth) if someone will buy your products or services (self-sufficiency). This type of thinking is how people create their lives from the outside in.
As I understand that abundance in the physical world is an out-picturing of my beliefs, I began to realize how the story that my child-self had created was blocking my flow of abundance. I began to realize how one belief creates another belief because it is the only way for our mind to validate the story.
It wasn't until I learned to "go beyond my story" that I was able to free my mind of the limiting beliefs to make way for the abundance that was waiting to come pouring forth into my life! Thus, I began living and creating my life from the inside out, the vibration of abundance.
I've found that a first step to "Go Beyond Your Story" can be to ask yourself 3 questions:
1. What feeling/belief can I let go of right now?
2. What feeling/belief will I let go of right now?
3. What feeling/belief do I need to hold onto for just a little while longer?
The important thing to remember is HOWEVER you answer these questions, trust that you have the right answer. Sometimes questioning our beliefs can create fear because our mind tells us we're questioning the very foundation of who we believe we are (that's exactly what we're doing but everyone needs to process their thoughts in their own time frame and not according to someone else's). Be kind to yourself. Learn to sit in silence, ask your questions and be open to the answers.
When you listen for the answers to your questions, all you need to do is ask, "what if?" "What if that (awful, sad, traumatic, embarrassing, hurtful) experience does not define who I am?"
So go ahead and share your story; but always be ready to "Go Beyond Your Story" because that's how you create a new belief about who you are and why you're so fabulous, that's when you will free your mind!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
During a recent interview, I was asked how I define success. My answer was more about a "FEELING" than a definition.
My definition will vary from other people because I am the only person who can be me! Therefore, what works for me may not work for someone else.
This was my answer, "when I can stand up (and I did suggest that the listeners get their asses off their chairs and try this) and hold my hands up in a wide "V" (as in Victory) and shout, I am an amazing freaking human being! I am awesome. I have had so many successes and so many accomplishments that I continue to amaze myself every time I think about them!"
Some people may think this is an arrogant thing to do, but why are we so hesitant to be loud and proud about what we do? Too often we are so focused on what we BELIEVE success looks like that we spend more time going after the goal than celebrating what we've done.
What good is an achievement if you don't learn to celebrate it and acknowledge yourself for a job well done?
I find that women, especially, are less likely to acknowledge their achievements because they don't see the things they do as achievements; rather, they see them as something to mark off of their "To Do" list and move on.
If you REALLY want to see what success "FEELS" like, make a list of your successes/accomplishments/achievements on a piece of paper and then stand in a "VICTORY" pose with each one of the items on your list and "FEEL" how good it feels to have done that. Emotions are felt in the body and feelings are of the mind - when you can "FEEL" the vibration of each one of your accomplishments, you are giving your body an amazing gift. You are raising your energy which in turn raises your vibration levels. The better you "FEEL" the more you'll feel like doing something else just as fantastic or better!
So instead of living your life based on someone else's definition of success, "FEEL" how successful you already are and keep going. The world is waiting for the thing that only you can share!
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei at www.MasteringYourBeliefs.com
Stand in a Super Hero pose and hear the Universe applauding you. Don't try to turn everything you're feeling around all at once, inch by inch it's a cinch. Set a timer and stand in your Super Hero pose and repeat, "happiness" when the timer goes off, pay attention to how you feel.
One of the most debilitating feelings is a feeling of "powerlessness" - Repeat this every hour if you have to - the point is, inch by inch "You Have The Power To Shift Your Energy from lack to abundance.
If this post resonates with you, please know that I'm holding the highest intention for you today. You may not feel it or believe in it, but you can't see air and I'd be willing to bet it's something you believe in!
Happiness, abundance, prosperity, joy, acceptance, non-judgement, hope, faith; all begin from the "inside / out"
CLICK HERE If you'd like help shifting your energy!
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei
#MasterYourBeliefs #GoBeyondYourStory #abundance #Happiness #Hope#prosperity #joy #acceptance #faith
As he sat by the window, looking out over the lush green yard, compliments of a week and a half of rain, he was reminded of having read somewhere that over 300 shades of green exist in nature. With this view, he believed it!
Sitting there, It seemed like such a short time ago that he'd bought this house, with the dense woods behind it and the closest neighbor being over a mile away, the seclusion had seemed so inviting.
The trees were much smaller when he first looked at the property, but they’d grown to create the tranquil view he was now looking at, and the seclusion that surrounded him.
Read More Here...