Your personal life feels out of control. You've read the self-help books, you repeat your affirmations every day and you know you have a lot to be grateful for. So why is it so hard for you to create the happiness you've heard is possible?
If you believe your life would be a whole lot happier if the people around would change their behavior, you're never going to find the happiness you seek as long as you're expecting it to come from someone else.
When you believe someone else has to change who they are before you can love who you are, you're setting yourself up for continual disappointment and unhappiness.
Every person comes into our life as a gift or a lesson and a gift can be found in every lesson. If you need to learn to let go of anger, the Universe will gift you with someone who makes you angry. If you need to let go of low self-worth, the Universe will gift you with someone who makes you feel worthless. If you need to let go of the belief that nothing you have to say is worth listening to, the Universe will gift you with someone who makes you feel unheard.
The good news is, how long you keep the person the Universe has gifted you with is your choice!
The truth is, no one can make you FEEL anything; it's what you believe about their words and actions that are creating your reality. If someone tells you you're worthless, and you believe yourself to be worthless, you will see that person as the cause of your low self-esteem. When you're ready to stop feeling low self-esteem, you'll change what you believe to be true and that person will either disappear from your life or your relationship will become stronger and happier.
Every one of us has the power to create happy relationships as soon as we realize how we give our power away to another person. This takes a commitment to self-love and believing in who we are. This takes commitment on our part to master our beliefs about who we are and what we believe we're capable of.
If you want to create happy relationships, start with the relationship you have with your self. Who do you believe you are? What do you believe your capable of? When do you feel most empowered and what is your daily practice to stay in your power? How do you determine your value? Where do you see future-self (if you don't have a daily practice of empowerment, you'll find yourself creating your future from your past).
Creating happy relationships is easy when you yourself are happy. When you feel happy, you share your happiness with others. When you feel less than happy, the Universe will gift you with experiences that feed your unhappiness.
Your feelings are the key to everything; feelings are a vibration; the vibration you send out will be returned to you on that same vibrational frequency. This will never change because it's Universal Law; the Law of Attraction.
If you're ready to create happy relationships, start with your vibration. Pay attention to your thoughts and know what you're feeling at all times. Pay attention to how you feel in every situation and around other people. When you feel your vibration being lowered, only you can choose to allow it to happen or refuse to allow it to happen.
Be the change you want to experience in your life; every happy relationship begins with YOU!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
The dimmer my light became, I the farther away from love I walked.
I walked away from love, until it became easier to pretend it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what someone else forced upon me because it got easier and easier to believe I didn’t matter.
And that’s where I found my strength, in the belief that I did not matter.
That’s also where I found my sadness.
How could I not matter?
What was wrong with me?
What kind of God looks down on me, watching me, sits in judgment of me and always finds me lacking?
That didn’t feel like love to me.
I would ask myself, “Why should I be good when others aren’t good to me? Who is going to save me from the very people who are supposed to be here to protect me? What is it about me, that makes others so angry with me that they are unable to see anything worth loving?
I became passive, full of self-pity and completely at the mercy of those who only wanted to do me harm. When no amount of attempting to play on their sympathies could invoke the love I was searching for, I learned to endure.
I endured until I was old enough to explode against the violence and fight aggression with aggression. I learned to go to extreme measures to get the attention and the love I was searching for.
I learned to become the aggressor.
I wanted to right the wrongs that I believed had been done to me.
The day came when I wanted to teach other women how they could right their own wrongs.
I followed that path until being the aggressor no longer held any satisfaction for me.
I couldn’t understand why vengeance no longer satisfied the anger that was still buried deep within me; the anger that would always find a way to hijack my thoughts, my words, my emotions and my actions.
When vengeance and being the aggressor no longer felt satisfying, I longed for another way to heal the hurt, the anger, the shame, the guilt and the underlying feeling of being judged for my past.
I had many teachers in my life; teachers who taught me I was helpless and would always be a victim, teachers who taught me how to fight back. Then I found teachers who taught me that fighting would never bring me the peace of mind I was searching for, and they were the most difficult teachers to learn from. They were teaching me to look inside myself, to find the love of who I am.
But I didn’t believe it existed, I couldn’t because the rage inside of me was too strong. Once again, I became the aggressor as I raged against these teachers of love. I tried to prove them wrong. I tried to prove to them that there was nothing in me worth saving and because of that, I had a right to be angry, to accuse, to fight.
Gradually, I began to understand what love is not. Love is not hurt. Love is not anger. Love is not violence. Love is not guilt. Love is not shame. Love is not vengeance.
When I finally accepted what love is not, I was able to open my heart to what love is. Love is kindness. Love is happiness. Love is joy. Love is abundance. Love is prosperity. Love is looking in the mirror and being happy with who you see. Love makes it possible for you to receive your heart’s desires.
So, remember this, before you can know love, you must learn what love is not. You are the only one who has the power to let go of the hurt if you’re ready to choose love. Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei