When your adult-self is trying to "fit in" it's often because you haven't yet learned who you are and the value of being you. When you know who you are, you set standards and boundaries you are unwilling to allow others to undermine. You are mindful of your time because you know if you don't manage your time, others will manage it for you. You say what's on your mind because you know your suggestions have merit but you are also open-minded to what others think and say. You understand that every healthy relationship is reciprocal and you deserve to be heard, seen and valued.
Understanding that your inner child is still very much a part of you, if he or she is still holding on to those feelings and beliefs about what it felt like not to fit in you may find yourself going out of your way to give more than you have to give. You may allow others to dictate how you spend your time (this often shows up when you feel obligated to volunteer for something) or you become an "over-giver" giving to others and not having enough to fill your own wants and needs. You spend more than you can easily afford to keep up with friends and neighbors which then wreaks havoc on your financial status. You spend time and money at the gym or on products that promise to defy the aging process. You join in on the local gossip about another person or event because you desperately want others to know you are knowledgeable with what's going on in the world, your town, your neighborhood or your family.
What if you simply stop trying to fit in? What kind of peace of mind would you be able to enjoy if you weren't constantly trying to be everything for everyone else and started being everything you need for you? Would you have more time for yourself and the people who are most important to you? Would you feel less obligated to show up the way others expect you to show up?
Can you do that? Or is your inner child still holding on to those feelings and beliefs about the importance of fitting in?
Have you been trying to fit in for so long that you don't know what true freedom feels like just to be you? Do you want to be able to share your dreams, thoughts and hopes without feeling judged by others? What would your life be like without being shackled to the demands of others?
You have the power to change your present day experiences when you learn to let go of past experiences that are still demanding your time, energy and focus.
Letting go does not mean giving up; letting go means giving yourself the freedom to show yourself and others who you are and what you're capable of. All this can be yours when you stop trying to fit in!
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