 I’m so excited to have received this set of bone china with lemons and doubly excited for what they represent for me.
They are a gift from my mother. If you’ve read my books or follow my work, you’ll know that my mother and I didn’t always have an easy relationship, in fact, most of my life it was quite painful. Several years ago my mother started to follow me on social media and once she realized what I was teaching, she called me and asked, "I've been watching what you're teaching, do you think it will work for you and I?" When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. That was the start of each of us being able to go beyond our story about our painful past to heal our relationship in the present so we can stop creating our future from our past. This is how we break the cycle of anything unwanted. We teach people how to treat us based on the treatment we allow from others. If memories of your painful past arise, the only power it has over you is the power you give it. No one has power over another person; it's only when we give away our power to someone that they can use it against us. It's not what happens to us that matters, it's what we do with what happens. Blame is a weapon people use when seeking the burden of proof because they are holding on to hate, anger and animosity based on a driving force to be right. Your burden will only get heavier when you're looking for reasons to prove the other person wrong because all you're really doing is proving your role as the victim. The burden of proof becomes a vicious cycle until your desire to heal and feel peace within your mind, body and soul outweighs the driving force of vengeance within you. You will know you have healed when the peace within you outweighs your desire for revenge and your memories no longer make you cry. Learn the power you possess when you go beyond your story because when you wake up every day feeling the joy and happiness that comes from the peace you feel in your mind, body and soul; you'll know you've learned to turn lemons into lemonade! Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
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 I want to care how I feel and everything I think do, and say; I want that to matter more than everything else
I want to care how I feel I care so much about this that I’ll change my thoughts that don’t feel good I care so much that I’ll focus upon the people who are easy to feel good about when I think of others I care so much about myself that I will stop feeding the negative thoughts about people and experiences both past and present that make me uncomfortable every time those thoughts come to my awareness and practice shifting negative thoughts to positive thoughts to create feelings of love, joy, happiness, abundance and prosperity I care so much about myself that I will focus in a way that feels good to me. I care so much that I will listen to the calling of the Source within me, even when it calls me away from anger, rage, judgment, guilt and frustration I care so much about myself that I’m going to listen for that consistent, steady voice within me. I care so much that I am actively aware of the vibration of Source energy and I immediately go allow myself to flow with it When I am following the guidance of my Inner Being, when I practice subject by subject, into vibrational alignment with how my Source feels about me, I can reach expanded feelings of love and joy within me I care so much about how I feel that I tell myself continually that I am a magnificent Being There is nothing that I cannot achieve The world always addresses itself to me in positive ways. Everything is always working out for me. I live a charmed life Things are supposed to, and always do go well for me Seas part for me! Doors open for me I have the resources of the Universe at my disposal I live in an environment where I am inspired to a new thought, and as soon as I give birth to it, things align in order to bring me the actualization or the manifestation of it I am an extension of Source energy I am God in physical body I am worthy, and because I am worthy, good things come to me If I am sick it is temporary because it is natural for me to be well If I am not abundant of things that are important to me, I know it’s temporary because it’s natural that I be abundant There is nothing that I am supposed to do but all kinds of things that I want to do When I listen to the hypnotic voice of my Source, I am constantly hearing the drum beating that shouts, “I am loved, I am worthy, I am valued and life is supposed to be good for me.” I am worthy | I am valued | I am loved and life is supposed to be good for me and it is! Sensei Nancy Mueller  Before you can stop being triggered in your current relationship you have to know what it means to be triggered:
Triggers often show up as: ✅ When the other person has a habit that bothers you but you don't know why ✅ Specific smells set you on edge ✅ Loud noises that cause you to fee anxious ✅ Inability to trust another person ✅ Faking orgasms ✅ Liking someone A LOT but not sure if you can overlook certain behaviors ✅ You don't feel like you deserve to be happy ✅ You try to prove you're right by trying to prove how wrong the other person is ✅ Feeling like you have to justify your actions ✅ Feeling judged ✅ Holding a grudge ✅ Unable to forgive ✅ You're always apologizing ✅ Feeling helpless ✅ Arguing about the same thing, over and over and over ✅ Feeling criticized ✅ Feeling betrayed ✅ Believing if the other person REALLY loved you, they'd know what's wrong without you having to explain yourself ✅ Not sleeping well ✅ Wanting out of a relationship because you don't see any other way to be happy ✅ Feeling like no one really understands you ✅ Trying to overcompensate in your present relationship to make up for the choices you made in your previous relationship ✅ Pleasing others more than you're able to please yourself ✅ Feeling drained because you're trying so hard to make others happy ✅ You're arguing... again ✅ You keep attracting the same type of man/woman in your relationships ✅ You believe that being with someone who doesn't always treat you well is better than being alone ✅ You fear being alone ✅ Your arguments turn violent and you tell yourself he/she didn't mean it Triggers happen when something you're currently experiencing FEELS very similar to a negative experience from your past. When you're being triggered, you're bringing something from a past experience into your present day relationship (this is how you recreate your future from your past) YOU are the only person who has the power to stop yourself from being triggered. When you're ready to improve your current relationship, let's have a conversation about how you can stop being triggered by your past negative experiences. Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei  Be mindful of your thoughts and words, they are creating your reality!
When you stop to think about this, it's probably the most exciting information you will ever learn because as you learn to master your thoughts and words, you will change your life! How many times have you thought or said: * I can't afford to... * I hate my job * No one understands me * I'm so stressed out * Life is so hard * My mother/father/ex-husband/boss/children makes my life miserable * My life is so hectic * If only my life could be different * It's all my fault * I have no friends * How will I ever... * Divorce is wrong * I'll never forgive myself * Every thought you think and every word you speak has a vibration. If you often feel guilty, ashamed, depressed, lonely, misunderstood, victimized, traumatized, fearful, overwhelmed, difficulty focusing, unorganized, you are arguing for your limitations instead of seeing your possibilities. You have the power to stop living your life by default and start consciously creating the life you want to live. Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei  Do you know what love FEELS like?
You have to know what love feels like if you're going to receive it. Love always starts with YOU and it's something you practice every day. You love yourself by:
Don't just write them down, focus on what it FEELS like to give these to yourself and celebrate what you create from them EVERY - SINGLE - DAY! Loving YOU will give you all you need to prosper mentally, financially, physically and spiritually - all you need to do is believe you deserve it! Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei  I recently had a woman tell me that she finds my messages hard to take. She said when she reads something I post about my childhood, she can't comprehend going through such a life and it makes her feel uncomfortable.
As we talked about it, she realized she was using my stories to rationalize her childhood. During our conversation she said things such as, "I thought it was awful to have to live with XXX until I read one of your posts and then I realized my life wasn't so bad." I reminded her that trauma is trauma, there is no trauma that is better or worse than what someone else experienced as their trauma. Feeling guilty about wanting to express sadness, guilt, fear, anger, blame or shame only means you are holding those negative emotions inside you. Allowing yourself to express what you're thinking and be honest with how you're really feeling about it will set you free. I explained to her that because I've learned to do the inner work and have healed from the negative experiences of my past, I am now able to use my experiences as teachable moments without the emotional triggers. I am able to show proof that we don't have to carry the experiences of the past around with us. If we do, it only keeps us from enjoying who we are. I would not be able to teach what I teach if I hadn't had the experiences I did and learned to heal from them. We all have the choice to continue feeling like a victim and blaming others for who we've become or to choose to let go of victim beliefs and live in our power. We are all more powerful than we know, we all have the ability to see ourselves as the gifted and talented person we are. The ONLY reason we can't see our gifts and our talents is because we're holding onto a belief that is keeping us from knowing who we are. My mother once said to me that she and I used to clash when I got to a certain age. I suggested she look at that memory with a different perspective. We didn't clash, I simply got to a point where I no longer believed I was the person she kept telling me I was. When I was no longer willing to believe I was worthless and would always be worthless, what she describes as us clashing is actually her inability to understand why I no longer saw my value the way she saw my value. If you are having difficulty allowing yourself the honesty of what you're feeling because you've been taught to keep it to yourself, I encourage you to give yourself the gift of loving who you are. Everything you're keeping bottled up inside of you is building momentum. The question you have to ask yourself is, "do you want that momentum to explode in happiness or more sorrow? We all have free will, you can choose to suffer in silence or you can choose to free your mind. #LifeIsAllAboutChoices There has never been a better time for people to do the inner work we all came here to do and experience the love of who we are! Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei  Where do women learn to be disempowered and when does it start? Is it something we're taught? Is it something we intuit? Is it something cultural?
When a woman is not having her needs met, what could possibly be the reason she chooses to put the needs of someone else before her own needs? This isn't a post about the pro's and con's of faking an orgasm, it's a question to ask why a woman would make the choice to deny herself any of life's pleasures. When a women is not having her needs met, at what point did she draw the line and what is the tipping point or incentive to move the line? When women are unwilling or unable to ask for what they want, when their needs are not being met, they are not showing up as their authentic self. When a woman has lived her life one way for any length of time, how does she go about moving the line? How does she begin letting others know what she will no longer tolerate? The answer is simple; she begins with the person in the mirror. Start by asking the question, "what do I want" followed by, "why haven't I allowed myself to have that?" This is where you have to be honest with yourself instead of blaming someone else for where you are. Living authentically starts from within, you have to know what you want and then decide if it's important enough to have it. Ask yourself when and why you first thought it would be best to remain silent. What have you endured for weeks, months or years that is expanding your feelings of denial or low self-worth? Showing up as your authentic self starts with getting to know who you are and what you're no longer willing to accept. What limiting belief caused you to make the choice you made that has gotten you to where you are? What are you missing out on that you are yearning to experience? What have you been holding back that is now ready to burst forth because you can no longer tolerate not having it? What is the desire, deep within you that you can no longer ignore? Where are you hiding? What are you not saying because you're trying to keep the peace or protect someone's feelings? Whatever you're ignoring, if you're thinking about it, if you're focused on it and you're giving your attention to the feeling of not having it, this feeling of lack is expanding within you. Look at your relationships, your finances, your health, your career, your emotional and spiritual well-being; where is lack showing up for you? Being in a state of lack is a negative vibration and wherever you've been allowing yourself to be disempowered, you can be sure that feeling of lack is going somewhere; it has to, it's energy. We live in a Universe where there is contrast to everything; light/dark, up/down, happy/sad, lack/abundance. Everything is energy and you're either expanding or contracting your desires. Whatever you're focusing on, whatever you're feeling creates a vibration and this vibration is attracting your experiences. What experiences are you denying yourself and how much longer are you going to keep yourself from the pleasure of having it? Everything you want starts with YOU; joy, happiness, orgasms, abundance, prosperity, laughter, fun, enjoyment and love of life starts with you. What are you waiting for? Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei  I just had an insightful conversation with a client who was able to shift her perspective about the strength of a woman.
She made the comment that some cultures teach women to be strong so they can handle anything in life that comes along but what it actually does is teach them they have to be the one that thinks for others and holds everything together and it's exhausting. I asked her to get very clear on her definition of "strong" There is physical strength and there is mental strength. Your mind is your most powerful ability because it's how you create your experiences. If your definition of "being strong" means you must be able to handle anything in life that comes along, think for others and hold everything together; then you are setting yourself up for exhaustion. Strength is about knowing who you are and what you're willing to allow or not allow. When you shift your belief about your definition of "strong" you create an opportunity for yourself that didn't exist before. When strength is seen as a requirement to think for others and hold everything together, you will work yourself to exhaustion because the work is never ending. When strength is seen as the ability to delegate so that what needs done is divided up between the people who are best equipped or knowledgeable about the task, you're actually giving others the opportunity to do something they enjoy! Choosing not to put the needs and wants of others before your own, does not make you weak nor does it mean you're not fulfilling your responsibilities as a woman! Knowing you have the ability to choose makes you strong! Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei  The Story of “The Ham”
Years ago, I read a story about a young girl who was in the kitchen, watching her mother prepare the ham for their family dinner. When it was time to place the ham in the baking pan, her mother cut the exact amount off of each end of the ham, and then placed it in the pan. Wondering why the recipe called for the ends of the ham to be cut off before baking, the young girl asked her mother about it, “why do you cut the ends off of the ham before baking it?” The mother replied, “I’m not sure, but that’s the way my mother always did it so that’s the way I’ve always done it!” The daughter thought for a minute and said, “I’m going to call grandma and ask her.” The daughter called her grandmother and asked about the importance for cutting the ends off of the ham before baking. The grandmother replied, “I’ve always done it that way because my pan was too small for a whole ham.” Just like this family tradition of cutting the ends off the ham before putting it in the pan, family traditions are handed down generation after generation. These “family traditions” become beliefs (something we automatically do without questioning why). This may not seem like such a big deal when you’re talking about preparing a family meal but what about the beliefs we’ve created around relationships, health, money, college, career, etiquette, social hierarchy, divorce, marriage, religion, race or gender bias, politics, music, health care, the government, child rearing…? As children, we’re taught right from wrong based on what another person views as right or wrong, good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable. When every choice is made, based on a belief (something we automatically do without questioning why) is it any wonder why there are millions of adults asking themselves the same question: “why do I keep doing this to myself?” Our stories give us the power to achieve our success goals but they also have the power to convince us of why we don’t deserve to have something we say we want. Everything we have or don’t have is based on a belief (ours or the people who taught them to us). What is the holiday tradition you've created a story around that creates feeling of obligations, resentment, guilt, and the reason you're choosing to allow someone else to determine how you will spend your time? Holidays can be associated with beliefs about obligations and traditions that no longer serve you and only you can decide when it's time to go beyond your story about why the things that no longer serve you must continue to be followed. If you don't enjoy being around certain people, if the demands of others conflict with your own happiness or way of living or even if you want to create new traditions in your life, remember this... "No" is a complete sentence. Learn to put your wants and needs before the wants and needs of others. When you are happy and fulfilled, you will attract more of the same in every choice you make. Choose to live your best life! Sensei Nancy Mueller  From a very early age, my belief about what it means to forgive had been taught to me based on the religious dogma I was raised with.
I can only speak for myself when I say I was taught that forgiveness means thinking about another person who has wronged you and finding a way to be OK with what they did. I now have a more enlightened understanding of what forgiveness means; an expanded knowledge of what it means to forgive. Forgiveness isn't about finding a way to make it OK for whatever the person chose to inflict on you, forgiveness is about allowing yourself to let go of the negative feelings and emotions that are keeping you mired in the negativity as well as continually being triggered by the feelings and emotions each time you think about the experience. I recently posted on social media about the death of my father. Here is that post: My Father Died Today I have no tears, no sadness, no feelings of loss but neither do I feel relief. As I sit here and ask myself what I’m feeling, the only answer that feels genuine is “completion”. Every ending creates a new beginning, so what happens next? If I were to stand up and talk about who my father was and how I will remember him, what would I say to explain my feelings of completion? The man who was my father was known for many things; son, brother, uncle, father, husband, ex-husband, stepfather and grandfather. Our family knew him as angry, unapologetic, violent, tormentor, sadistic, abusive, sexual predator, pedophile, sex addict, sadist. His unapologetic lifestyle choices has left hidden scars that each of us has dealt with in our own way. Scars that have torn a family apart out of anger, shame, denial, self-doubt, self-loathing, revulsion, choosing sides, blame and judgment; towards each other as well as ourselves. My younger self tried, I tried to be the protector, but I was too young, too small, too weak, and too afraid. And then I got older, and I stopped being afraid. I stopped being afraid of the threats, the fear of retribution and what others would say when they found out. I stopped putting the wants and needs of others before my own. I started to speak up, I started to share my story, and I realized by sharing my story I was gradually shifting from victim to victor. I quickly learned that sharing my story meant there are going to be people who are empowered by my story, enraged by my story, and even disbelieve my story. The disbelievers became angry and judgmental which left me with two choices; I could once more choose to remain silent or I could choose to stand in my power. But how does a person stand in their power against the disbelievers, or the angry and judgmental people? How do you stand in your power and stand up for yourself when those around you are telling you you’re wrong to be talking about something they don’t want to hear about? In my experience, the best way to stand in your power is to understand that the people who are judging you, the people who are angry with you, and the people who disbelieve your story are the people who realize your story makes them uncomfortable because it hits too close to home for them to hear. To accept what I’m saying would mean they would have to take a look at their own choices. They would have to ask themselves if there were signs that they saw but ignored either out of social diplomacy or ignorance. There is nothing left unsaid, there is nothing left undone, and that is why what I am feeling today, more than anything, is completion. Being treated better started with me. I had to learn to stop the self-loathing and self-judging and learn to be self-loving. Forgiveness started with me forgiving myself for not seeing my value. For me, forgiveness of "self" led to completion. Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei |
AuthorNancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei Archives
February 2023
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