 Does the squeaky wheel REALLY get the grease or does it get replaced?
As I journey through life, I find myself thinking of the desires of my younger self: feeling safe, feeling heard, having an equal voice, having the only say about my body, being a loving mother, earning my own money, parenting with love, unapologetically putting my children first, being encouraged to pursue my hidden talents and gender equality. These desires were born from my childhood experiences of mental, verbal, and physical abuse that escalated to sexual abuse by the age of 12. As an adult, I was looking for a way to speak up and stay safe instead of going along to get along! When I decided that going along to get along, no longer worked for me, I started searching for a way to find my own inner strength. My search led me to martial arts because I believed my strength could only be found in my ability to physically protect myself. As I became a student, competitor and teacher in the martial arts and I read Gavin De Becker's book, The Gift of Fear... 'At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.' ~ Gavin De Becker The weight of this quote landed heavily on me at the time because I couldn't help but dwell on, what seemed to me, the unfairness of this statement. Certainly the fear of death is much worse than the fear of being laughed at. This did not seem like a way for men and women to honor the strength that each of us possess. As I continued searching for my own method of feeling safe, I couldn't help but feel the unfair advantage men seemed to have over women. Martial Arts taught me that the strongest weapon any of us possess is our mind. Everything begins in the mind; the mind can convince us of our strength or convince us of our weakness. It's our inner strength that allows us to be heard, seen and valued. And now, many years later, with the overturning of Roe v Wade, and the overturned verdict of Harvey Weinstein, I find myself wondering if women will once again be put in a position to prove who we are as women! Energetically, we have expanded into a much higher realm of possibilities for humankind and to put any negative energy towards what we "don't" want to happen would surely be a giant step backwards! Now, more than ever, is the time for women to come together in solidarity and instead of making our future about gender equality, let's first seek to understand. We are all part of the whole, we are all one. Each of us is the source of something for another and they are the source for us. If you need anger, someone will be the source of that anger for you. But when someone else needs anger, you can only be their source if you're choosing that emotional pattern. Let each of us take responsibility for our own inner healing and together we can create a world where decisions will be based on the most qualified. We can create a world where we honor each other's strengths instead of looking for a weakness to exploit. Let each of us take responsibility for making the other feel safe; we, each of us, can be the source of peace for each other when we stop being afraid to let go of "the way it's always been done" and work together to find a way it can be. It can be possible for men to stop fearing women and women to stop fearing men when we work together to truly hear what each of us is asking for. It can be possible for anyone to speak up and feel safe no matter what they're asking for. Ladies, we have nothing to prove! It's time to make yourself heard, even if your voice shakes. But more importantly, when we're making ourselves heard, we must remember that being heard should never be at the expense of drowning out the voice of another. When we allow every relationship to be about strength yielding to strength instead of one person believing themself to be stronger than the other, we can all stand in solidarity and create a more inclusive future for generations to come!
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 What is the worst thing you believe about yourself and why do you believe it's true?
You believe it's true because you've told yourself the same story so many times, you've created a belief about it. A belief is simply a thought you think over and over and over. All limiting or self-sabotaging beliefs are accompanied by painful or uncomfortable feelings. Your thoughts and beliefs cause you to feel a certain way which creates specific emotions in your body. This is known as your "State of Being. Most people have a habit of dealing with unwanted feelings by stuffing them deep down inside because they believe it's a sign of strength or the solution to problems and struggles! But it isn't! you've managed to do is shift your thoughts to the "unconscious thought portion" of your mind which is exactly what makes them so easily assessable the next When you have a habit of stuffing your feelings, all you've managed to do is focus on something else instead of facing whatever was causing the feeling in the first place. Your Beliefs and Your Feelings are The Cause and Your Current Struggle is The Effect. If you want to change the effect (your current struggle or state of being) you have to start with the cause (belief). The first step to change a limiting or self-sabotaging belief is to know what it is. What is the story you've been telling yourself over and over for as long as you can remember that reinforces your belief? Reinforcement stories usually start with statements like:
Everything is energy, including you. Your feelings are nothing more than electromagnetic charges of energy that bounce around in your body like the constant clanging of a Las Vegas slot machine being set in motion by your thoughts. Now that you know this, you can't unknow this so would now be a good time for you to start mastering your beliefs so you can stop thinking the worst about yourself and open yourself up to everything that's possible for you? Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei at MasteringYourBeliefs.com  What can you do when you’re 12 years old and you don’t have the ability or capability to question the rules you’re forced to live by?
What can you do when you’re in the habit of waking up every day feeling the need to escape? What can you do when your 12-year old self has lived with a succession of cruel and sadistic punishments because you’ve been led to believe “that’s what happens when you’re bad”? What can you do when your 12-year old self has lived with an abusive, angry and sadistic father so you do what you’re told instead of what makes sense? What can you do when your father forces your 12-year old self to get undressed and lie down on the bed so he can teach you something important and you’re too afraid to ignore the warning bells going off inside your mind? What can you do when your 12-year old self feels suffocated as your father’s weight is pressing down on you while you try not to choke from the smell of his cigarettes, lip balm and heated breath and you feel a whole new kind of fear because you don’t understand what you’re supposed to be learning? What can you do when your father finally climbs off of you and your 12-year old self is crying because you don’t understand this lesson and your crying only makes him angrier? What can you do when your 12-year old self is wondering what you can do to keep it from happening again? What can you do when your 12-year old self wants to talk about what happened with someone so you can understand it better, but your father has threatened you not to tell anyone? What can you do when your adult-self can’t stop thinking about the things that happened to your 12-year old self and you’re filled with anger, shame, humiliation, and confusion? What can you do? This was the question my child-self asked me for 12 years, the question my adult-self tried to ignore for 12 more years, the question it took me 12 years to stop ignoring and the question it took me another 12 years to be open to learning the answer to. One in 9 girls and 1 in 20 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault; more than 90% of abusers are people children know and are taught to love and trust. When your child-self doesn’t have the ability or capability to say “no”, your adult-self can be retraumatized each time you relive the memory of your experience. When that happens, our adult-self wonders, “what can you do?” When my adult-self started asking, “what can you do” my initial response was to find things my adult-self had the ability to do that my child-self did not have. This is when I got angry, wanted vengeance, wanted sympathy from others, but most of all, I wanted people to know how much I was still hurting. It hurt to think that the people who should have been there to protect me were the people I needed to be protected from and that the other adults in my life weren’t there for me, which made me even more determined for people to know how much I was still hurting. It took a while to realize that as long as I wanted people to know how much I was still hurting, I would continue to feel hurt. It took me even longer to realize that it was my inner-child, that little 12-year old girl who still lives inside me, was looking for the love she never received. I’ve learned that sometimes it takes a while for us to recognize when our inner-child is trying to get our attention. She’s crying out to us as though she’s pleading with us and saying, “please hear me, validate me, see me, know that I exist and that I am worthy of your love” which is precisely what every woman wants to experience in her life. The next time you ask yourself, “What Can I Do”, consider being open to healing your Inner Child. She’ll thank you for it in ways you never dreamed possible to bring joy, love, prosperity, abundance and happiness into everything you do! If you’re wondering how you can begin to heal your inner child, check out the free resources available at MasteringYourBeliefs.com Sensei Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs  We know that all negative or limiting beliefs come from the same place that our positive beliefs come from. You never hear someone say, "I need to find a way to stop being so positive" but millions of people talk about wanting to eliminate their impostor beliefs, limiting beliefs and negative beliefs.
Keep reading if you're open to letting me share why I believe that the 3rd commandment can support you when you want to be more positive than negative! The 3rd commandment states: "You shall not take the name of the Lord God in vain" I must admit that most of my life this puzzled me because for many years, I understood it to mean you should never use the word "God" in a negative way. Google's definition backs up what most of us were taught. Google's explanation for the 3rd commandment is:
We all know that using the word "God" in a negative way happens more often than not. We also know that all positive or negative and limiting beliefs are based on something we were taught or intuited between the ages of birth to 8 years of age. So, if you are a believer of the 3rd commandment either you've NEVER used the word "God" in a negative way or you do use the word "God" in a negative way without much thought about the 3rd commandment! But what if there is a different interpretation of the 3rd commandment. What if a further understanding of this commandment could set your mind free to see yourself in a new and more empowered way? God is a word that is used to describe "all that is". A few other words that describe "all that is" are The Universe, The Creator, Jehovah, Higher Power etc., But the NAME of God is "I Am" When you use the NAME of God to interpret the 3rd commandment, you can expand your interpretation. How many times have you thought or said, "I am frustrated, I am worthless, I am wrong, I am unlovable, I am stupid, I am too busy, I am fat, I am..." By using the NAME of God instead of the word "God," the 3rd commandment takes on a more expanded understanding of why this commandment is so important! When you use the name of God in vain, you're describing who you are and what you're capable of in a negative way. When you use the name of God in a positive and loving way, you create more joy, happiness, abundance, prosperity, and good will in everything you do: "I am loveable, I am capable, I am creative, I am financially abundant, I am mentally/physically/financially/spiritually prosperous, I am bold, I am gracious, I am accountable, I am connected, I am present, I am joyful, I am responsible, I am daring, I am positive, I am selfless, I am honest, I am kind, I am original, I am respectful, I am fearless, I am smart, I am brave, I am self-aware, I am self-confident, I am self-reliant, I am determined, I am..." When you interpret the 3rd commandment this way, "You shall not take the name "I Am" in vain" are you able to see how you have the power to be and experience who you are in a more positive and powerful way? You are always more powerful than you think you are and you deserve to keep finding ways to prove it to yourself! Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei at MasteringYourBeliefs.com  I started cooking and baking for our family of seven when I was 8 years old and I loved to bake. My brothers loved that I loved to bake and when the holidays came around, I would bake all the traditional Christmas cookies and our Italian favorites that were handed down from our grandmother!
When I got married and moved into my own home, my cookie baking continued and because my brothers would eat them as fast as I made them, I would make dozens and dozens of cookies! I shared them with friends, family, neighbors and took them to holiday gatherings. One year a neighbor woman asked me a question that threw me out of my holiday orbit, she said, "Your cookies are really good, better than any cookies you can buy in a store. If you will consider baking extra cookies this year, I promise you that however many you make, I will sell them for you." What????? The reason her question threw me out of my orbit was because I had never considered my love for baking cookies as a marketable skill that I could make money doing. I liked the idea of having a reason to bake MORE cookies so before Thanksgiving, I bought an upright freezer to keep in the garage and I baked and froze the cookies until she was ready to start selling theme the cookies until she was ready to start selling them. After the cost of my ingredients and my upright freezer, I was amazed to see that I had made a profit. I have so many milestones in my life but I love sharing this one because it really opened my mind to the the power of going beyond my story that I was just a wife/mother/sister who baked cookies! I still love to bake but I only bake for myself and my guests. Even though I didn't open Nancy's Cookie Shoppe, it did create an expansion for my entrepreneurial journey. When I learned to Go Beyond My Story of what I was capable of, it opened a door to how much more I am capable of and that's when people and opportunities started showing up in my life. Gift yourself with the knowledge of How To Go Beyond Your Story and who knows what kind of an expansion it will create in your life! You are always more than you think you are and you deserve to keep finding ways to prove it to yourself! Nancy Mueller Life Sensei at MasteringYourBeliefs.com  Thought From Sensei Nancy: No woman can fail if another woman sees her success! When you're too close to the situation, it's easy to become doubtful or fearful but others can clearly see your success because they are not close to the situation. You're never alone as long as you have someone to reach out to!
Why do we struggle? What causes us to have a lack of faith in who we are, what we're capable of and why we're so successful? Here is a list of 10 Effects That Can Be The Source Of Struggle (in no particular order)
Effects manifest from the cause and the cause manifests from what you're thinking and what you're feeling about what you're thinking. Consider the following:
You hold all the power, believe this and your experiences of Cause and Effect will manifest differently! Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei at Mastering Your Beliefs P.S. Join me virtually on Thursdays at 10:00 a.m. PST at The Dojo as we explore similar conversations about our mental, physical, financial and spiritual expansion and all of the possibilities available to us!  The holidays can be a time of obligation but wouldn't you rather use this time to do more of what makes you happy instead of just going through the motions to make others happy.
Obligation comes in many forms so it can be difficult to recognize. Obligation can be described as family traditions, gift giving, over eating, shopping, spending time with undesirable family members, office parties, decorating, cooking, baking, tree trimming, last minute shopping, finding the perfect gift and more. Obligations are so hidden in the quest to have the perfect holiday or a Norman Rockwell experience that we don't recognize them for what they are and we ignore how they make us feel. If you'd like to eliminate your holiday stress, when you're feeling stressed, ask yourself:
Once you give yourself permission to understand the basis of your obligation beliefs you also shift your perspective and open yourself up to alternate solutions. What self-satisfaction do you get from saying, "yes" to holiday obligations? When you can honestly answer this question, (honestly means you can answer it based on what it's doing for you, not what it's doing for someone else or expected of you). Do you need to feel needed, to have the recognition, are you trying to relive a special childhood memory? What fear comes up for you if you were to say, "NO"? You are the only one who can make your holidays joyful because joy, love, happiness, excitement, satisfaction and peace is an internal gift you can only give to yourself. If you're reading this message and thinking, "can I really do all this to eliminate my holiday stress" then I invite you to ask yourself if you believe it's possible! Because whether you believe this message is true or or whether you believe this message is false, you're absolutely right and your holiday experience will be a result of what you believe to be true for you! Sensei Nancy Mueller Mastering Your Beliefs  Recognizing your life's path can help you eliminate most of the struggles you may be experiencing.
Life struggles often feel like you're swimming upstream because the physical work you're doing is exhausting, stressful and you often feel motivated by obligation instead of desire. Swimming upstream is tiring, flowing downstream is relaxing! Any negative thought, feeling, emotion or choice is YOU, moving out of alignment with your true self. When you're out of alignment, you don't "FEEL" good. Alignment with your "True Self" is the vibration you feel from excitement (AKA your "Happy Place"), it's that physical sensation you feel in your body, it's your body's translation of the vibratory energy you feel when you're in alignment with your Inner Being, Source, the Creator, God, The Universe! Any time something in your life contains a high degree of excitement, it's an indication that you should act on what you're feeling because this is your life's path inviting you to more of yourself and who you are! That's why certain experiences contain the vibration (feeling) of happiness and excitement and how you know that acting on your joy, will support you! True abundance is having the ability to do what you need to do when you need to do it; you are always supported by the Universe at all times, if you weren't you would not exist! Keep in mind how unconditionally supported you are by reminding yourself that you are so unconditionally supported by Creation that you are even allowed to believe you are not unconditionally supported. You are so unconditionally supported by your Inner Being, Source, the Creator, God, The Universe that you have actually been given the ability to believe that you are not supported. You can believe that you are worthless, that you are unsupported, that you are nothing and yet you still exist. This is a true demonstration that your Inner Being, Source, the Creator, God, The Universe is absolutely willing to unconditionally support anything you believe to be true about yourself. So when you believe you are hated, you are a bad person, you are worthless, you've made too many mistakes or that you are lacking in anything you want, if the Universe is willing to support you with those beliefs, it is also willing to support you when you believe you are loving and you deserve to have everything you desire! You were born with free will; there is absolutely no difference in the eyes of creation, no contradiction whatsoever with what you choose to believe. When you decide what is true for you, there is nothing in existence that can or will contradict you. The Universe will simply reflect whatever you believe is true about you at any given moment because that's what it means to be made in the image of creation. You get to decide to use your free will to choose who and what you are but your life's path will always call to you from your passion which was given to you through your love, joy, happiness and excitement! Life Is All About Choices! What you believe to be true will determine your life's path; you can either flow downstream or struggle to swim upstream. Use your feelings as your internal GPS to guide you on your life's path and you will experience happiness, joy, love, abundance, prosperity and peace of mind! Nancy Mueller Life Sensei at MasteringYourBeliefs.com  If you put something in your mouth that tasted awful, you'd probably spit it out to get rid of the experience.
A negative or limiting belief is something we don't like or want to experience but it can take a little longer to recognize it before we spit it out of our thoughts. 90% of the thoughts we think are the same thoughts we had the day before based on habitual behaviors, emotions, beliefs and reactions; we react to life instead of act because of habitual negative or limiting beliefs.
When you finally get tired of this habitual pattern that's been going on for however many years old you are, you might be looking for a way to spit out your negative beliefs before they can cause any more negative experiences in your life.
Once you're able to answer "what is the feeling I'm living with day in and day out" the answer is like shining a light in a dark corner of your mind; you light up with new thoughts and beliefs! The word, "meditation" means "to become familiar with." Meditate to become familiar with what you're thinking about, the more familiar you are with your limiting beliefs, such as:
If you want to create a practice of spitting out your negative beliefs as soon as you're aware of them, you've got to start being aware every time you say or think:
There is a positive contrast to every negative experience but unless and until you're willing to sit with what you're thinking and feeling, you'll keep having the same negative experiences. Stop trying to resist what you're thinking and feeling by staying preoccupied with meaningless things, retail therapy, alcohol, calling your friends, scrolling or posting on social media or any other distraction you choose to try to keep you from paying attention to your thoughts, feelings and emotions. The only way you can spit out your negative beliefs is to recognize the so you can stop finding things to help you resist them. When you're ready to step out of your "Known Zone" (the beliefs you have based on your known experiences) to unlearn the negative thoughts and beliefs that have gotten you where you are, you'll get much quicker at spitting out those negative beliefs before they become your habitual response! A habit is defined as "something you've done so many times that your body knows how to do it better than your mind" The good news is, you can create happy experiences based on habits from your positive thoughts just as easily as you can create unhappy experiences based on your negative thoughts! Life Is All About Choices! Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei at MasteringYourBeliefs.com  They say you can't go home again, but that isn't really true when it comes to the painful memories of your past.
Women are here to heal the world, and for you to have everything you need to succeed, the healing must begin individually. When women are being triggered by painful childhood memories, it can effect their mental, physical, financial and spiritual relationships in the present. Painful memories of past experiences can be triggered through smells, sounds, books, songs, movies, another person's story, specific people, experiences and even our environment. Those triggers can take us right back to the event, causing us to relive the experience in the present. When this happens, our mind searches for a reason we feel triggered, because of an emotional response based on what we believe to be true. We try to tell ourselves things like, "It's in the past, let it go, I should be over this, what's wrong with me" and we even use those experiences to convince ourselves that we are inferior in some way. Your convictions about not being smart enough, educated enough, talented enough, worthy enough, or that you are inferior in some way can be so deeply rooted in what you believe about yourself that it becomes part of your identity. How can we heal the world when we resist the healing that must take place within each of us first? One day something will happen and you will think, "Wow, I can't believe I was able to do that, I always thought that was something I'd never be able to accomplish." That's all it takes, one time to accomplish something you never thought possible and then you'll start asking yourself, "if I can do that, I wonder what else I can do!" And that's when the fear sets in. Fear sets in because you start wanting more and your "wants" are accompanied by your limiting beliefs that you can't have it, accomplish it or that it's impossible because of your fear based beliefs! This is why many coaches will tell you, "if your goal doesn't scare you, it's not big enough." Give yourself permission to think outside of your "known zone" (that part of your thinking process that's always made choices based on what you believe to be true). Allow yourself to stretch beyond your limiting beliefs, your perceived limitations and the story you use to convince yourself that what you really want is only possible for others! Women are here to heal the world; if you're open to being part of the healing process, what one belief are you willing to master to heal the painful memories of your past so you can stop being limited by your outdated, worn out, limiting and negative beliefs about who you are and what you're capable of? Next stop: The World! Are you ready? Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei at MasteringYourBeliefs.com Women |
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April 2024
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