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7/17/2017 0 Comments The Art of Practicing Self-Care We women can be so hard on ourselves!
We don’t need anyone else to judge us and find us lacking; we do that very well all by ourselves! Women are great at setting goals, working their business, being a mom, being a wife, being a homemaker, and making sure that everyone is being taken care of. Everyone except us. Why is that? On Friday, July 7th, I could tell that I was feeling anxious and out of sorts. At 10:30 my internet went down. I called the internet company and they told me the internet was down all over Long Beach. I realized not having internet added to my anxiety because I couldn't work. I was feeling so overwhelmed with what I hadn’t gotten done that day that I found myself staring at my internet modem and willing those blue lights to come back on. REALLY? That’s when it occurred to me that I needed to give myself permission to Let Go, create some self-care and have some fun! Why was I being so hard on myself? My answer was to drive to my daughter’s house on Saturday morning and play with my grandchildren to get my fill of fun, merriment, silliness and only thinking about family! I let go; of the work, the anxiety, the stress and the belief that I wasn’t doing enough work. Why are women so worried about being judged by others that they make their life so much harder than necessary? We are experts at comparing ourselves to others and then deciding that we are lacking. Comparing ourselves to someone else is like comparing two snowflakes; no two are alike so there is no comparison! We can compare the beauty of each and how each snowflake is unique but one is not lacking because it is not the same as the other. Every single woman on this planet us unique and cannot be compared to another! We are here to share our unique gifts and talents with others, to extend our hand and reach out to our sisters around the world and say, “here, take my hand and let me help lift you up!” When we do this, we help ourselves and others at the same time. We also need to take time to put our needs and wants in front of everything else. My self-care involved family time and time with my grandchildren but every person is different. What if we could give ourselves permission to roll around on the floor with our kids, or our pet? What if we could give ourselves permission to cook a gourmet meal (or finally make a meal that isn’t prepared in the microwave!!!!). Self-care means different things to different people but the important thing about self-care is “taking care of our self!!!!” Putting our needs and wants first so we have what we need to be there for others. It’s time we stop confusing self-care with being selfish and let our minds wander. Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei
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6/22/2017 0 Comments To Blindly Go Where Others Lead Are you familiar with the fairy tale of The Emperor’s New Clothes?
“The Emperor’s new clothes” is a fun story about human vanity and the fear of truth. It’s also about wisdom, stupidity, naivety and incompetence. It reminds us of the never-ending human desire for power, material things and an acceptable position in society. The story begins with the Emperor’s weakest spot; which is, clothes. Another part of the plot are the con men who want to take advantage of the Emperor’s weak spot to earn money. The time is not specific but, as in all fairy tales, everything happens once upon a time in a castle. Sometimes I think life is a lot like the fairy tale about The Emperor’s New Clothes. There are so many people who are more concerned about vanity, the fear of truth, wisdom, naively following the leads of others and desiring the best place in society. There is nothing wrong with wanting something more in our life or to lead a better life, but when we allow the opinions and beliefs of others, to rule our lives, we usually end up living a life that doesn’t make us happy. There is a saying in the self-help industry, “if you want to be successful, hang out with successful people.” But how do you know who is successful and who is pretending to be successful? And whose definition of successful should we use? Success looks different to different people but when we allow our success to be measured or defined by someone else’s definition, we often find ourselves believing we don’t measure up. If we are an entrepreneur and do not have a six-figure business, are we a failure? If we answer “yes” to that question, we often feel inadequate and if we answer “no” to that question, we are told we’re in denial. If we choose to leave Company A where the work environment is toxic and oppressive to work for Company B, making less money but management values their employees and employees actually look forward to going to work every day, are you successful. So, it would seem to me that people may want to ask themselves if they have defined their own definition of success or if they’re using someone else’s definition of success. Earl Nightingale describes success as, “the progressive realization of a worthy goal.” The next question becomes, “what is a worthy goal?” He then goes on to say, “With our definition of success being, the progressive realization of a worthy goal, the young person working to finish school is as successful as any person on earth. The person working toward a particular position with his or her company is just as successful.” Van Gogh never sold a single painting in his life. At the age of 27, he abandoned his unsuccessful careers as an art dealer and a missionary and concentrated on his painting and drawing. When he began painting he used peasants and farmers as models and then flowers, landscapes and himself because he was too poor to pay his subjects. He produced over 800 paintings and if he had not followed his passion to work towards a worthy goal, the world would never have been captivated by his art. How many people today are blindly going where others lead them because they are being told it’s the direction that will lead them to success? Spiritually speaking, if we look at life from an energetic standpoint, we are all part of the whole. Each one of us is a piece of the grand design that we call life. When one piece is missing, the grand design is incomplete. Therefore, if everyone is allowing themselves to be led in a direction that is not of their calling, they create a void or “missing piece” the grand design. We also have an opportunity to eliminate labels such as rich, poor, gay, straight, black, white, successful, unsuccessful, intelligent, unintelligent; popular, unpopular, because every person and who they are destined to be is a piece of the grand design and is here to make up the whole. How then can we stand within our own individuality and be successful? It’s my belief that the answer to that is simple, “by refusing to blindly go where others lead!” Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei 6/21/2017 0 Comments The Beliefs of Others The beliefs of others was not the path I was meant to travel in my life.
Because of this, I tend to be a non-conformist! Even as a young child, there were many events and circumstances where I relied on instinct to survive. Children who question the decisions of others, often find themselves in frustrating situations because adults tend to look at them as “the child who just doesn’t listen and do what she’s told.” As you can imagine, this created many challenges during my childhood years. It wasn’t until I was in my 50’s when my mother said to me, “Nancy, I had no idea you were so brilliant and so talented. When you were a little girl you were always full of questions and you used to ask questions that I couldn’t answer and say things that used to scare me. I tried yelling at you, punishing you and beating you but nothing worked; finally, the only way I could cope was to ignore you. As a child, not understanding why others didn’t understand my questions left me feeling inadequate, have low self-worth and feeling like a “bad person”. I carried these beliefs with me well into my adult life and these beliefs were the foundation for who I thought I was. But I was conflicted. My adult self, kept saying, “I know I’m not a bad person. I’m loving, I care about people and I want the best for myself and others.” It was that very conversation with my mother when I had a light bulb moment that shined a light into one of the dark corners of my mind. The dark corners of our minds are full of limiting beliefs such as, “I’m not good enough, Who am I to think I could ever…, I’ll never learn this, I can’t” and so many other limiting beliefs. Can you guess what that light bulb moment was for me? That light bulb moment of realization was, “all this time I thought there was something wrong with me, when actually, it was my mother’s fear of not knowing how to parent a child like me!” Whoa! As Oprah would say, “that’s a tweetable moment!” How many adults are walking around with a belief about themselves that was put there from an outside influence? Parents, peers, bosses, siblings, friends, social media or even how our child-self viewed the world; all have an opportunity to influence who we believe we are as a person. Do you want to know a secret? If we are powerful enough to hold so tightly to a negative belief, we are just as powerful to eliminate that negative belief! I don’t know about you but when I learned this, it was a game changer for me! Before I knew it, I was shining a light in more of those dark corners of my mind to get rid of those limiting beliefs! I have to be honest though, some of those negative beliefs took a LOT of work to get rid of. It was amazing to me how hard it can be to let go of belief that turned into the way I saw my world and my life. Every light bulb moment came with the same question, “why did it take me so long to understand that?” The answer that I have come up with, to that question is this, “the light bulb moment happens when you are ready for it, and not before!” In other words, when I’m ready to let go of the resistance of WHY I think I need that particular belief in my life, I will no longer need to hold on to it as part of my identity. Now my life is about shining my light instead of hiding within the dark corners of my mind. All I can say is, “we only have one life to live and in my opinion, living in the light is way more fun! “ Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei  I learned there were people who know so much more than me.
My parents taught me everything they could... They taught me to play small, it was safer than thinking I could amount to something They taught me my self-worth, I had none and should always remember this They taught me that girls are less than boys My father taught me that a girl is helpless when a man wants sex My mother taught me that keeping quiet and not speaking my mind is much safer Yes, at a very early age, I began to learn about the people who know so much more than me My teachers told me to learn "this way" but I could not. This is when the people who know so much more than me told me that I was un-teachable. My classmates told me what to wear and what I needed to do to "fit in" but I did not have the means or ability to take their advice. These classmates who knew so much more than me helped me to understand that I did not fit in and would be better off keeping to myself. The religious leaders I sought to help me get rid of the fear and anxiety that was ever present in my home life told me I was a sinner and should repent or I will never be able to enter the gates of heaven because I do not honor the parents who bring me such pain and sadness. As a child, these people who knew so much more than me helped me to understand my value and my self-worth. One day I heard a man teaching and he said "you are worthy, you have value." But I said, "I'm sorry, you are mistaken. There have been so many people in my life who have taught me that I have no value, and that it would be best for me to play small in my life because this will keep me safe." But the man's words would not go away. Again he told me, "you are a gift, you are unique. There is no one else in this world who has your talents and heart. Keep sharing the gift that is you and you will help show others "The Way!" But how can this be, there have been so many people who know so much more than me who have told me never to try. Who are they, these people who know so much more than me? Where did they get their information? Could they have gotten their information from someone who knew so much more than they? And where did those people get their information? I am told that I have a bright light inside me, and this light is God. God is in me and he is waiting for me to understand that those people who I thought knew so much more than me were also taught by someone who they thought knew so much more than them. And then God told me, Forgive them, bless them and let them go, for they were there to teach me strength. These people who knew so much more than me gave me such tremendous strength to break free of what they taught me. They gave me tremendous strength to ask, "Is it true, all those limiting beliefs you taught me? Am I now free to accept new beliefs? Am I now free to believe in the gift that is me and the purpose I serve in this lifetime? And the God in me answered "Yes, follow me. For I am you and together we will teach a new belief. We will teach those who are ready to accept their gift who they are and encourage them to question all that was taught to them by the people who they thought knew more than they. All that question will experience freedom, abundance and peace. They will live a guilt-free life knowing they no longer have to be bound by limiting beliefs. And so it is. I chose to let go of the fear and anxiety that was taught to me by those I thought knew so much more than me and follow the God in me to encourage others of their value, their gifts and their abilities. And this is what I learned... The God in me knows so much more than those people who I thought knew more than me! Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei 6/18/2017 0 Comments Why Am I Here When I was in the 9th grade, a woman came to our school to speak to our school assembly. While listening to her message, I heard a voice inside my head that said, “That’s it! That’s what I want to do. I want to stand in front of hundreds of people and share a message that will make a difference in their life!”
And then that voice was silenced just as quickly as if it had never been there and replaced with a voice that said, “Who am I to think that I have something anyone would want to hear? It’s better to stay silent, stay in the background, and go unnoticed because this is where it’s safe.” I thought it took years to hear that voice again, to share the same message again, but that’s not exactly true. The voice was always there, whispering the message like an interpreter whispering in the ear of a visiting guest who does not speak the language. When the voice is persistent, we will say, “What? Who, me, impossible!” It’s amazing how we can resist our calling, our intuition or the many signs along our path in life because we fear our own call to greatness. Just the word, “greatness” causes so many reactions from ourselves as well as others; judgement, anger, jealousy, fear, disbelief, the list is endless. The Universe has a way of keeping us from “playing it safe!” In fact, playing it safe, is usually what causes most of the struggle in our lives. When we’re playing small (not stepping into our greatness) we choose unsatisfying careers, relationships, financial decisions, and experience health challenges; all because we are resisting why we are here. What about those people who have done great things and then tell themselves, “I will never again do something as amazing as this!” Athletes, actors, poets, painters, artists, dancers, doctors, researchers, mothers, fathers, teachers, singers, and anyone who believes they have reached their peak will ignore the voice inside their head. The voice that is telling them, “you are here to do great things” is often silenced because we choose to believe that we can do nothing greater than what we have done so far. Because we listen to that voice, we struggle and ask, “Why Am I Here?” Van Gogh never sold a painting in his lifetime and yet his work has had a profound effect on so many lives. Art theft, forgery, paintings bought and sold or handed down from one person to another; all have been affected by his work in both negative and positive ways. The author who publishes his first book, the artist who sells her first painting, the athlete who scores the final touchdown, the woman who gives birth to her child, the person who finds a cure; if these people had stopped there, if they had believed they could never again do something as amazing as that, they would have blocked their path to greatness to write the next book, paint the next painting, win the next game, have a second child. What of all the people who have been touched by their work? What of them? Yes, it’s possible that they would have been touched by someone else’s work but isn’t that what we tell ourselves when we choose to not to listen to the voice in our head! We simply say, “I am sure someone else more qualified will do this.” The next time you ask yourself, “Why Am I Here”, listen to the voice inside your head. It’s giving you the answer, it’s telling you that you are here to step into your greatness! Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei  Today I woke to the sounds of my neighbor doing some remodeling that included the use of a jackhammer!
Because I work from home, having a quiet place to work for recordings, videos, writing, and working with clients; a jackhammer has the potential to sabotage my day! I say it has the potential to sabotage my day because the truth is, I was merely faced with a few choices. I could choose to be upset and believe that the Universe was conspiring against me and my business. I could choose not to work today, blame the noise on my inability to be productive, and go to the beach. I could choose to walk next door, unleash my inner Tasmanian Devil, and try to make my neighbor understand why my work is more important that what he had planned for today. I could choose to play some relaxing Zen-type music all day, work on other projects, and still be very productive! I chose to play some relaxing Zen-type music, work on another project and inspiration flowed like a busted water pipe! We always have choices in our life but too often we blame outside events, circumstances, people, the weather, our childhood, the government, or even the neighbor next door who is just as committed to his project we are to ours. Life lived from within, instead of without, empowers us with the understanding that we can choose to be our own worst enemy or our most powerful ally. Any person, place or event that makes you angry owns a piece of you (you will know this because it will bring out YOUR inner Tasmanian Devil and after you’ve directed negative words, energy and emotion towards the person, place or event you will be no closer to an answer and you will feel exhausted, frustrated and wronged!). Ask instead, “how can I go within for the answers to my current situation?” When we ask, “how can I create the best outcome from this situation” instead of “why is this happening to me” we create an opportunity to experience a peaceful and positive outcome. Inspiration flowed for me because I chose NOT to believe this was being done TO me, and instead asked how I could be most productive with the situation at hand. The next time you’re faced with a situation where you feel your inner Tasmanian Devil attempting to rise up within you, choosing a softer approach can help you overcome the jackhammers in your life! Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei  Yesterday was my grandson’s 4th birthday so I sent a text to my daughter asking her if I could FaceTime with the birthday boy. My daughter texted back that his reply was, “I don’t want to FaceTime right now because I am playing with my presents!” At that moment I wondered, “How many adults are as empowered as this 4-year old boy?” How many adults give themselves permission to put their needs and wants before the needs and wants of others? Parents often have difficulty with this because we’re always doing for others! Many parents feel the need to put the wants and needs of their children before their own. This can cause a rift in the marriage if there is no time made for self-care; parents deserve to make sure individually and together their needs are being met. You can’t help another person if you can’t help yourself first. Let’s face it, if you fall apart, you will be of no use to your children! Think about all the times when you put yourself last and rarely had time to meet your own needs. By the end of the day you’re exhausted and you’ve got nothing left to give! You’ve got nothing left to give to your family, your co-workers, your clients, to your business; you’ve got nothing left to give to anyone because your own cup is completely empty, so how can you possibly have anything left for yourself? There are too many people who think Self-Love is selfish! When you are practicing Self-Love, you are leading an empowered life. When you are practicing Self-Love, when you understand the importance of putting your needs and wants first, you are actually giving yourself the inner strength you need to be there for others! A four-year old knows this, why do adults forget this? What can you do, daily, to start practicing more Self-Love? How can you be there for yourself, to put your wants and needs first, and ensure that you have everything you need and want to be your most empowered self? When you learn to “fill your own cup” every day, you will have plenty to give to the people who mean the most to you in your life. It is impossible to draw from an empty cup so by filling your own cup, you will then have plenty to share with others. Sometimes it can be as simple as taking a 10-minute walk in nature, reading a book, listening to your favorite songs, dance like no one is watching, take a nap, or stretch. Whatever it takes for you to feel that you are receiving positive energy into your mind, body and soul, make a promise to do this for yourself every single day. Fill your cup by prioritizing your wants and needs, practice Self-Love and you will show the world the empowered person you are! Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei 6/11/2017 0 Comments Defining Success
Too often we cannot measure success in our life because we are either using someone else's definition of what success looks like or we are basing it on past experiences and attempting to stop repeating old habits and patterns.
Napoleon Hill said, "Success is working towards a worthy goal" and I think this is a very empowering way to look at how we see success in our life! If we choose to set a success goal around getting healthier and one day we eat something unhealthy, have we failed to be successful? If we choose to set a financial goal to have a specific amount of money in the bank by a certain date and we miss our goal by mere dollars, have we failed to be successful? Asking these types of questions can help us turn our negative mind chatter about our success into a more realistic and positive way to give ourselves permission to accept the fact that we are already successful, we simply sometimes forget to turn around and look how far we've come because we are too obsessed with looking forward and trying to keep our eye on the prize. The challenge with keeping our eye on the prize is that when both eyes are focused on what we perceive the end goal to be, we often lose sight of the bigger opportunities along the way! Nancy Mueller  Have you ever had a fear of your car breaking down,
at night, while you’re driving, alone, on a deserted road, and you have no cell service? Not every woman has a fear of this situation, but I think you’ll admit that this scenario has the potential to be a good example of a fearful situation! When you think of your car breaking down, at night, while you’re driving alone, on a deserted road, and you have no cell service, it’s easy to let your mind wander by taking a mildly annoying situation and blowing it out of proportion by creating a “worst case scenario”. If you were in this situation, you have a choice to stay calm and consider your options or panic and believe the worst. The good news is, whatever choice you make, both are within your power to make. You could choose to panic and think the worst, OR you could use that same imagination to… see yourself reaching into the back seat, grabbing your emergency road kit with a CB that runs on solar power, turning it on, dialing into the emergency roadside assistance channel, help arrives within 10 minutes and the mechanic soon has your car running and back on the road. (Feel free to add anything you want here such as you fall madly in love with the mechanic and ride off into the sunset together to live happily ever after. After all, this is your imagination we are talking about!) With this example, you begin to understand how you have the power to actually retrain your brain because you are forcing yourself to make conscious thought instead of relying on the subconscious thought that had caused anxiety about driving at night. We imagine the worst-case scenario for so many things in our life; what if he doesn’t call me, what if I’m not pretty enough, what if I’m not smart enough, what if I plan a meeting and no one shows… geez, the list is endless. Teaching ourselves to think positive instead of allowing F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) to take over is simply a matter of replacing one habit for another (imagining a positive outcome instead of a negative outcome). There are a couple of questions you can ask yourself when you begin to make different choices when it comes to fear based situations. #1.) What is the name of my fear (in this case; fear of strangers, fear of carjackers, etc.) #2.) Is this fear a cause for physical danger? #3.) We would answer “yes” to this question if we were truly out on the deserted road however, for the sake of this conversation, we’re talking about a fear that hasn’t happened yet, but is always on your mind. Maybe you saw this scenario in a movie and it left you feeling creepy and vulnerable and you haven’t been able to let go of the fear and anxiety associated with what you saw. Keep in mind, this hasn’t happened to you, but you think about it, a lot, and can’t seem to let it go. #4.) Now that you’ve determined you’re not in physical danger and you‘ve confirmed that your fear has been created in your mind – you can easily see how something you create in your mind can be un-created or recreated which is a positive and more empowering way to look at it. #5.) Now… ask yourself this question, “how many times in the past, have I been driving on a deserted road, at night, alone, on a deserted road, when my car breaks down, and I have no cell service?” Are you starting to see how powerful this line of questioning can be as you begin to chip away at the anxiety to analyze the fear? So, the next time you find yourself thinking of the “worst case scenario” remind yourself to practice these questions that can help you move past the fear. Go ahead, be creative and find a way to bring a positive and abundant outcome to your fear and prove to yourself and the world that you have the power to create positive outcomes just as easily as negative outcomes! What fear has been cropping up for you, over and over and over that you are finally ready to stop struggling with? You may have to dig deep because we often disguise our struggles by believing that something is happening TO us instead of the fact that we are creating our own reality! Fear wears many masks, such as: frustration, anger, resentment, guilt, denial, and even depression. Once you have a name for the fear, apply these questions and watch what happens. Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei 5/17/2017 0 Comments I'ts More Than A Calling While on the road to discovering our life’s purpose, the greatest joy is when we find ourselves saying, “This is it, this is what I’m meant to do with my life!”
But what happens when you think you have it all figured out and then setbacks happen; we start to doubt ourselves because things aren’t going according to our plans or we feel like our life is spiraling out of control. This is when doubts set in and we have conversations with ourselves that sound something like, “I am such a loser! I can’t believe how many times I have tried to make this business/goal/belief work and have had nothing but failures! If this is what I’m truly meant to do with my life, then why am I having such a hard time (earning a living at this, getting my message out, finding the right clients, getting others to believe in my dream, etc.). Once these negative conversations get started, this is where most people give up. They allow doubt to creep in because friends and family members who mean well and want the best for them will say things like, “hey, at least you tried” or “when are you going to get serious about your life?” When I was in the sixth grade, I wanted to study Martial Arts. When I was in the ninth grade, I decided I wanted to speak in front of large groups of people and share a message that would create a positive impact on the audience. When I was in my thirties, I finally had the opportunity to begin my Martial Arts training and that is when I thought I had discovered my life’s purpose; teaching self-defense to women. My business was called W.A.V.E. (Women Against Violent Encounters) and I loved teaching. When teaching self-defense, I also loved teaching the philosophies behind the Martial Arts (or, what I call, Mental Martial Arts). I loved sharing these philosophies so much that soon the women were not as interested in learning the physical techniques but became more interested in mental martial arts. Doubt set in; how can I keep accepting their money to take my classes and workshops when they aren’t even learning what they are supposed to be learning? We learn from our mistakes; one of my mistakes was assuming the women were there to learn what I thought I was supposed to be teaching them. Once I got out of my own head and started paying attention to what they were taking away from the classes and workshops, I realized the mental martial arts were empowering women in their everyday lives; in their relationships, careers and aspirations! In this case I, as the teacher, had become the student as I started to see the bigger picture of what I was offering these women. Once I accepted the transition from the physical teachings to the spiritual teachings or, the Mental Martial Arts, my ability to be able to help my clients grew into something I could not have foreseen when I started my journey. Once we understand that “we don’t know what we don’t know” and give ourselves permission to grow farther than we ever thought possible, we open a door to more abundance, prosperity, rewards, and return on our investment because we are actually allowing ourselves to answer more than a calling, and we begin to ask questions such as, “if this was the start of my purpose, where will it grow from here? What glass ceilings will I shatter, what ladders will I continue to climb and who else am I meant to impact with my ever-growing purpose? Once we begin to understand that every journey begins with the first step, we will no longer have those conversations with ourselves that sound something like, “I am such a loser! I can’t believe how many times I have tried to make this business/goal/belief work and have had nothing but failures! If this is what I’m truly meant to do with my life, then why am I having such a hard time (earning a living at this, getting my message out, finding the right clients, getting others to believe in my dream, etc.) because we will FINALLY understand that those first few steps are leading us to the grand design that our life is meant to be. Once we have reached this level of “knowing” we will never again allow ourselves to doubt who we are or what we are meant to accomplish in this lifetime! Every mistake becomes a mis-take; a do-over! The do-over that is an opportunity to make mistake after mistake knowing that every single time we don’t get it exactly like we want it, it’s usually because we are limiting our true potential and not because we did something wrong! So, the next time you believe you have discovered your life’s purpose, give yourself permission to say, “it’s more than just a calling, this is my opportunity to take the first step towards my greatness! Nancy Mueller ~ Mastering Your Beliefs Sensei |
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