The idea for this blog came to me while I was in the attic, literally, I was in the attic.
My aunt and uncle had both passed away, the job of clearing out years of memories had been left to my cousins, and one day I found myself reminiscing with them in the attic of their parent’s home.
As we sorted through sixty years of boxes filled with clothes, documents and outdated appliances, I realized the three of us hadn't been together since I was 8 years old and I couldn't help but notice how much had changed for me since the last time we were together.
As a young girl, I always felt like an outsider when I was around my cousins because I believed they had a perfect life. Their family seemed full of love, kindness, happy times and togetherness while my childhood was filled with abuse, trauma and the secrets my siblings and I were forced to keep about what went on in our home.
Because of those secrets, I grew up feeling inferior to my cousins, aunts and uncles.
I was a young girl the last time I’d been in that house, and I was enjoying the opportunity to laugh and talk about the fun times we shared together in that house like the “secret passage” that connected my cousin's closet to the closet in my aunt and uncle’s bedroom and how we used to go between the bedrooms without the knowledge of our parents (or at least we believed they didn’t know)!
Rarely do childhood memories turn out the way we remember them, especially when we get the opportunity to visit them as our adult self. I remember feeling a twinge of disappointment when I discovered that our secret passage was less of a secret passage and more like an unfinished wall.
As we sat together in the attic, going through what felt like the millionth box, I opened a box that was full of letters, documents, birth certificates, cards, and newspaper clippings. It was all there, pieces of documented family history that revealed the lives of our family members in ways the three of us had never heard before. Proof of births, deaths, affairs, illegitimate children and even manslaughter. This information was not part of any childhood memory the three of us had ever heard of before that day.
As we sat there, dumbfounded, trying to make sense of the written and documented proof we were holding in our hands, all we could do was stare at each other!
The truth of what we'd just learned hit me like a bolt of lightning and I blurted out, "Wow, this is proof that I was never inferior to the rest of you because you had awful secrets just like me. The only difference is, you didn't know about them until now! I should write a book about this and title it Secrets in the Attic." My cousin replied, “no one would ever believe it, you’d have to write it as a book of fiction because no one is going to believe this stuff!”
By the time we left the house that day, our eyes had been opened to the fact that most of what we thought we’d known about our parents, family members and even who we'd been taught we are, had been based on lies, half-truths, innuendos, secrets and misleading information.
As we were each lost in our own thoughts about what we'd learned, I started wondering, “if our family memories can no longer be relied on, how does that affect the basis of who we believe we are and how do we come to terms with the people who told us those lies, half-truths, innuendos, secrets and misleading information?"
Have you ever asked yourself where your beliefs come from about who you are, what you're capable of or what you deserve to have? What limiting beliefs could you free yourself from and how would it change your life?
Not everyone will have an experience of family secrets being revealed but every belief our adult-self has is based on something we were taught, experienced or intuited as children. All beliefs about who we are, both negative and positive, are formed between the ages of birth to twelve years of age. How much of what we believe about our childhood can be relied on as the truth for the choices we make as adults?
As an adult, childhood memories can invoke something you’re trying to live up to or wish had never happened. Either way, we can’t go back and undo the past, or can we? If you think about it, the mind is like the attic of our life, full of outdated junk we no longer need but often hold onto because we have difficulty letting it go.
What are the secrets in your attic? Are there beliefs your mind is holding onto that, if you let them go, could free you from the pain, struggle and challenges your adult-self is experiencing? Would "NOW" be the right time for you to let go of your limiting beliefs? Only you have the power to hold onto your limiting beliefs and only you have the power to let them go.
Remember, Life Is All About Choices!
I don't know about you, but sometimes I find myself wondering "what's so special about me and how am I qualified to do what I do?"
It's not because I doubt my skills and abilities, it's because there are times when I think about where I thought I'd be at this stage of my life versus where I actually am.
I've heard people ask the question, "if you could go back and talk with your younger self, what would you say?" But my answer is always the same, "there is no way my younger self would ever believe me if I told her what we would one day accomplish. She would not have believed what we're capable of because it was not our truth."
I'll never forget the first time someone told me I am brilliant, talented and compassionate; because that was not my truth. That was not how I saw myself when I looked in the mirror or introduced myself to strangers. If I could not see the brilliance, talent or compassion within me, how could I believe anyone who was saying those words to me?
I've come to realize my life is an expansion of who I am and who I've always been. The truth is, you don't know what you don't know. If someone tells you something that seems so far beyond what you believe to be true, it can be difficult or nearly impossible to believe it's possible.
How could I possibly believe an older version of myself, telling me everything I've experienced has laid the groundwork to teach others because I feel compassion for what they've gone through or because they're going through something similar? How could that be true when I believed my value was based on my traumatic, hurtful, shameful, and degrading experiences?
I believe when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I also believe we have many teachers but don't always recognize them for what they're here to teach us. An abusive parent can teach us we have no value, or that we will one day have the power to break the cycle of abuse. The person who victimizes us can teach us we are a victim or that being victimized does not make us a victim. The marriage that ended in divorce can teach us we failed or that we are now expanding into a higher understanding of who we are and what's possible in our life. The empty bank account can teach us that lack in any form is a reflection of how we feel about our self-worth and as our self-worth increases, so will our level of abundance and prosperity.
The question then becomes, "what is your truth?" Do you believe yourself to be gorgeous, talented, fabulous and worthy of all the abundance and prosperity the Universe has to offer or do you believe yourself to be unworthy?
When I was quite possibly at the lowest point of my life, my truth about who I believed I was, was making my life miserable. It wasn't until I chose to question what I believed to be true, that I could begin to see it was possible there might be some truth to what others could see in me. As my understanding of what I believed to be true shifted from unworthy to worthy, people and opportunities began to show up. There were people who guided me to write and publish my books, asked to feature me in their magazine, assisted me with my website, and even asked me to speak to their audiences or groups. Before I knew it, people were asking me, to teach them my process to understand their own truth. People could feel my compassion for what they were going through. My belief in their ability to choose a different truth about who they believe they are and what they're capable of was something they were ready to be true about their own life!
There is one truth I believe that exists for everyone, you will never know what's so special about who you are and what you're qualified to do until and unless you're willing to understand why you believe what you believe and why you choose to make it your truth. Only then can you ask yourself, "is that true or have I made it my truth based on past experiences?"
Remember, it's not what someone says to you that matters, it's what you believe about what they say.
When you truly know yourself, your truth will be based on a foundation that you really are that special and qualified to live an abundant and prosperous life!
When my grandson, Anthony was born, we lived two blocks from Disneyland which seemed like the perfect reason to become season pass holders!
Disneyland was Anthony’s playground and I loved experiencing our time together through his eyes.
When he was about seven or eight years old, as we were planning yet another trip to Disneyland, I suggested we walk instead of drive.
I remember his astonishment as he asked, “Grammy, we can’t walk to Disneyland, it’s too far!”
I asked him how he thought he could walk all day long throughout Disneyland but couldn’t manage to walk just two blocks to get there!
He thought about it but didn’t have an answer so I asked him if he was up for a new adventure; walking to Disneyland instead of driving.
He got excited when he thought of it in terms of an adventure so we started walking.
During our walk, I would point out certain things to look at along the way and asked him if he’d ever noticed these things when we were in the car.
As he started to catch on to what he was experiencing, he’d say, “ Grammy, look at this. When did they put this here? What do you think this is? Can I touch this? Let’s get a stick and poke it to see what’s underneath!”
We talked about the adventure of our walk. He’d asked if it was dumb to walk because we could get there so much faster if we drove. I pointed out all the fun things he’d miss if we had driven and as young as he was, I could tell he understood that both driving and walking was a way to get from here to there but the adventure was about what happened along the way!
Anthony is a grown man with a daughter of his own now. I often think of those adventures with Anthony when I’m traveling from here to there. When I’m walking, I remind myself to be mindful of what’s in front of me and not to make the walk about going out and getting back but what I experience along the way!
Mindfulness is possible in the car as well; instead of always listening to music to pass the time, I ride in silence and notice what’s outside my window.
When I’m working at my desk, I make time to step away and be mindful of my body; what does it need? Food, stretching, water, a change of scenery?
We always have an opportunity to practice mindfulness but our self-talk often has a way of talking us out of it with thoughts like, “you have a deadline, you promised you’d do this today, people are counting on you, if you don’t finish, people will think you’re lazy and slacked off!”
Mindfulness is impossible when we’re more concerned what others will think of us than what we think of ourselves.
If this article has come into your awareness, I'd love to know how this message has inspired you to make time for mindfulness in your life!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
You've found that special person you think you could spend the rest of your life with. Now if only you could get him or her to change one or two things about himself, your relationship would be perfect.
You have a close friend that you enjoy spending time with but you're uncomfortable when he's around your other friends because his social skills leave a lot to be desired.
You understand why your father was so hard on you while you were growing up but you can't bring yourself to share your success with him because what he put you through still hurts.
You believe in the company you work for but your boss is unrelenting. You want to quit but you love the company and your co-workers. You feel powerless when it comes to making your boss understand how miserable he's making you feel at work.
Your personal life feels out of control. You've read the self-help books, you repeat your affirmations every day and you know you have a lot to be grateful for. So why is it so hard for you to create the happiness you've heard is possible?
If you believe your life would be a whole lot happier if the people around would change their behavior, you're never going to find the happiness you seek as long as you're expecting it to come from someone else.
When you believe someone else has to change who they are before you can love who you are, you're setting yourself up for continual disappointment and unhappiness.
Every person comes into our life as a gift or a lesson and a gift can be found in every lesson. If you need to learn to let go of anger, the Universe will gift you with someone who makes you angry. If you need to let go of low self-worth, the Universe will gift you with someone who makes you feel worthless. If you need to let go of the belief that nothing you have to say is worth listening to, the Universe will gift you with someone who makes you feel unheard.
The good news is, how long you keep the person the Universe has gifted you with is your choice!
The truth is, no one can make you FEEL anything; it's what you believe about their words and actions that are creating your reality. If someone tells you you're worthless, and you believe yourself to be worthless, you will see that person as the cause of your low self-esteem. When you're ready to stop feeling low self-esteem, you'll change what you believe to be true and that person will either disappear from your life or your relationship will become stronger and happier.
Every one of us has the power to create happy relationships as soon as we realize how we give our power away to another person. This takes a commitment to self-love and believing in who we are. This takes commitment on our part to master our beliefs about who we are and what we believe we're capable of.
If you want to create happy relationships, start with the relationship you have with your self. Who do you believe you are? What do you believe your capable of? When do you feel most empowered and what is your daily practice to stay in your power? How do you determine your value? Where do you see future-self (if you don't have a daily practice of empowerment, you'll find yourself creating your future from your past).
Creating happy relationships is easy when you yourself are happy. When you feel happy, you share your happiness with others. When you feel less than happy, the Universe will gift you with experiences that feed your unhappiness.
Your feelings are the key to everything; feelings are a vibration; the vibration you send out will be returned to you on that same vibrational frequency. This will never change because it's Universal Law; the Law of Attraction.
If you're ready to create happy relationships, start with your vibration. Pay attention to your thoughts and know what you're feeling at all times. Pay attention to how you feel in every situation and around other people. When you feel your vibration being lowered, only you can choose to allow it to happen or refuse to allow it to happen.
Be the change you want to experience in your life; every happy relationship begins with YOU!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
As a child, I knew nothing of Universal Law, the Law of Attraction, energy or how life was supposed to work.
My soul chose this life, I chose to be born to experience love, feel loved and share this love with others. Thus began my karmic contract to choose experiences that would allow me to experience the contrast of love, to hide my light, to walk in the pain of not knowing love until, if I chose to, I could let love in.
I chose parents who would teach me what it felt like to be emotionally, verbally, physically and sexually abused before the age of 12. I chose parents and experiences to diminish my energy while feeling threatened, always fearing when something bad would happen to me; I learned to dim my light so others could shine.
The dimmer my light became, I the farther away from love I walked.
I walked away from love, until it became easier to pretend it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what someone else forced upon me because it got easier and easier to believe I didn’t matter.
And that’s where I found my strength, in the belief that I did not matter.
That’s also where I found my sadness.
How could I not matter?
What was wrong with me?
What kind of God looks down on me, watching me, sits in judgment of me and always finds me lacking?
That didn’t feel like love to me.
I would ask myself, “Why should I be good when others aren’t good to me? Who is going to save me from the very people who are supposed to be here to protect me? What is it about me, that makes others so angry with me that they are unable to see anything worth loving?
I became passive, full of self-pity and completely at the mercy of those who only wanted to do me harm. When no amount of attempting to play on their sympathies could invoke the love I was searching for, I learned to endure.
I endured until I was old enough to explode against the violence and fight aggression with aggression. I learned to go to extreme measures to get the attention and the love I was searching for.
I learned to become the aggressor.
I wanted to right the wrongs that I believed had been done to me.
The day came when I wanted to teach other women how they could right their own wrongs.
I followed that path until being the aggressor no longer held any satisfaction for me.
I couldn’t understand why vengeance no longer satisfied the anger that was still buried deep within me; the anger that would always find a way to hijack my thoughts, my words, my emotions and my actions.
When vengeance and being the aggressor no longer felt satisfying, I longed for another way to heal the hurt, the anger, the shame, the guilt and the underlying feeling of being judged for my past.
I had many teachers in my life; teachers who taught me I was helpless and would always be a victim, teachers who taught me how to fight back. Then I found teachers who taught me that fighting would never bring me the peace of mind I was searching for, and they were the most difficult teachers to learn from. They were teaching me to look inside myself, to find the love of who I am.
But I didn’t believe it existed, I couldn’t because the rage inside of me was too strong. Once again, I became the aggressor as I raged against these teachers of love. I tried to prove them wrong. I tried to prove to them that there was nothing in me worth saving and because of that, I had a right to be angry, to accuse, to fight.
Gradually, I began to understand what love is not. Love is not hurt. Love is not anger. Love is not violence. Love is not guilt. Love is not shame. Love is not vengeance.
When I finally accepted what love is not, I was able to open my heart to what love is. Love is kindness. Love is happiness. Love is joy. Love is abundance. Love is prosperity. Love is looking in the mirror and being happy with who you see. Love makes it possible for you to receive your heart’s desires.
So, remember this, before you can know love, you must learn what love is not. You are the only one who has the power to let go of the hurt if you’re ready to choose love.
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
I was so excited; he was finally coming over for a visit!
The last time we were together, I thought I had ruined everything between the two of us, but the very fact that he was coming over told me I had worried for nothing!
I decided to make my famous “blonde brownies!” Well, they were famous among my siblings, but to be honest, I think my brothers would have eaten anything I baked for them!
The brownies were cooling in the kitchen and I could hardly wait for him to arrive; everything was going to be OK!
As I sat in the living room, eagerly anticipating his arrival, I thought back to the last time we were together and why I thought I had ruined everything.
He had invited me to spend time with him while he babysit for the neighbors. After the kids had gone to bed, he turned on some music, then he turned to me and said, “when this song is over, it will be time for you to make your move.”
Make my move? What did that even mean; what moves?
As the song got closer to the end, I felt myself start to panic. What was I supposed to do? I had no idea; so, I just sat there and smiled at him.
When the song was over, he said, “times up” what are you going to do next?” I’m sure I said something absolutely brilliant and romantic like, “I don’t know, what do you want me to do?”
What I remember more than anything was the disappointment I felt for not knowing what to do and that’s when I started crying.
It felt like everything I had been holding inside of me was coming out with my tears and I couldn’t even talk. I just sat there and cried until the parents came home, paid him for babysitting, and we drove away in silence. The opportunity had passed, whatever was supposed to happen, didn’t happen.
But now, everything was going to be OK, because I had made my famous brownies!
When he finally arrived, he didn’t exactly look happy to see me, so I led him to the couch and ran to get the brownies.
When I proudly held the brownies up for his inspection, he just looked at me and said, “I don’t want any brownies, I can’t stay. I just came here to tell you that we can’t see each other anymore.”
I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach and as I was holding back the tears, I asked him why? His words hit me like a blow to the stomach, as he told me that his parents had high hopes and dreams for him, and they didn’t see me as an asset to his future.
And then he left.
I wanted him to come back so I could explain about the night we babysat together.
But I knew that even if he came back, I wouldn’t be able to tell him.
How was I supposed to tell him that he was my knight in shining armor and I had hoped he would carry me away from the awful secrets I was being forced to keep?
How was I supposed to explain the ugly secret I’d been keeping for the past three years?
How was I supposed to tell him that my father had threatened me within an inch of my life if I dared to ever tell anyone about the ongoing sexual abuse he had forced me to endure?
As I stood there, looking down at my pan of brownies, I suddenly became very aware of everything that was wrong with me.
I didn’t have any moves!
I wasn’t an asset to anyone’s future.
I was trying and failing to fit in at the 12th school in nine years.
I had no one to talk to and my mother was an expert at letting me know she could hardly stand the sight of me. Even when she did talk to me it was only to tell me that I was worthless and that I would never amount to anything.
What was wrong with me that even my own mother hated me?
Once again, I questioned the reason I’d ever been born.
Something told me my famous blonde brownies would never be special again.
My 15-year old self could not see my value, I could only see what I thought was wrong with me.
That’s the day I stopped making my famous brownies, because they only made me relive the feelings and emotions from that night.
That night became the story that I would share with myself and others to explain why I always felt so sad, how miserable I was, how unloved I was, how unworthy I was and why I had no self-worth.
Until one day I learned it was possible to go beyond my story, and I learned to start questioning my beliefs about my self-worth. Once I started asking questions, I also stopped living in fear and keeping the secrets that others threatened me not to tell!
As I discovered that my beliefs about myself and others were open for debate, I started questioning other things I had been taught to believe. I also learned that the fear of what would happen if I stopped keeping secrets was not real.
I discovered I’d been taught so many beliefs that were based on lies, half-truths and fears!
Like the belief that my mother hated the sight of me; I had that one wrong. I learned that she knew what my father was doing to me but didn’t have the resources or the mental strength to deal with it, so she just kept quiet. But the sight of me brought her so much shame that she couldn’t stand to look at me.
As children, we can only learn based on what we’re taught by our parents or those people who are closest to us. We believe what they teach us and then we go on to form our beliefs about what we can or cannot do – until we learn to question those beliefs.
We can’t go back and change the events, but we can learn how the feelings and emotions from those events are feeding into our adult beliefs and how they're creating more beliefs that turn into limiting beliefs, impostor beliefs and beliefs about what we can and cannot do. When we master those beliefs, the stories we’ve told for so long begin to change. They stop being stories of sadness, anger or feeling like a victim. The stories then become the very credentials of who we came here to be.
We stop believing that we could never be an asset to someone else’s future!
And when our beliefs change, the thoughts we think change, the words we use change and the doors that we thought were closed to us are suddenly flung wide open with unlimited possibilities!
Because there’s no greater feeling in the world than when someone tells you, “you can’t do that” and you can confidently turn to them and say, “Wanna bet? Just watch me!”
After that, brownies are just something delicious to eat!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
There I was, Long Beach, California - home of the Long Beach International Karate Tournament!
I was a 2nd Degree Brown Belt - waiting for my turn in the ring!
I thought about all of the competitors who had competed here before me; many great tournament fighters earned their stripes at this tournament, including Chuck Norris, Tony Martinez Sr., Mike Stone, Joe Lewis, Benny "The Jet" Urquidez, Billy Blanks, Jerry Piddington, and "Superfoot" Bill Wallace.
This was the place Bruce Lee was first introduced to the martial arts community in August 1964, and demonstrated his one-inch punch and two-finger push-ups.
I heard them call my name, stepped into the ring, and looked up at into the faces of 7 Black Belt judges waiting for me to begin!
My Sensei had taught me a 7th Degree Black Belt kata and the time had come for me to show what I’d learned by competing at the Long Beach International Karate Tournament!
I was definitely "in the zone!"
For nine months I had studied, corrected and perfected the kata in preparation for the tournament!
I knew that kata backwards and forwards and could have done it in my sleep!
But as I stood there, looking into the eyes of those seven Black Belt judges, I could feel my knowledge drain from my mind.
😨It was as though a wall of white had come down between me and the judges;
😨My mind and my body were frozen,
😨Time seemed to have stopped,
😨I could no longer hear the shouts from the surrounding competitors!
That’s when I heard my 🕵️♀Impostor Syndrome whispered in my ear, "who do you think you are, competing with a 7th Degree Black Belt kata in front of all these Black Belt judges?"
I felt like an 🕵️♀impostor
I felt like a fraud
I felt out of my league
But most of all, I felt 😓intimidated!
As my mind deserted me, I tried to focus so my body could begin the movements that were so familiar to me, but all I could think to do was acknowledge the judges and bow out of the ring.
As soon as I left the ring my mind kicked into gear,
I wanted to run right back in there for a do-over but,
a do-over was not an option! ☹
That experience was over 20 years ago!
There were many tournaments after that, but first, I had to learn to master my beliefs around the Impostor Syndrome.
Today, that would NEVER happen to me because I've learned how to eliminate impostor beliefs BEFORE they have a chance to sabotage my success!
If you’re tired of the Impostor Syndrome sabotaging your success, CLICK HERE and learn how you too can recognize and eliminate The Impostor Syndrome!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei
How much money does it really take for a woman to be financially secure?
If you ask 100 women, chances are, you'll probably get 100 different answers because everyone has a different belief about what financial security means to them.
Financial security can mean...
The list goes on and on about what a woman believes it takes to be financially secure because every belief was created based on her past experiences.
There are many women who are plagued with impostor beliefs about what they're capable of, especially when it comes to being financially secure. Every woman who is financially independent possesses the ability to...
So how can women empower each other when it comes to being financially secure?
Following are a few thoughts on how women can stop tearing each other down and work to build each other up:
Encourage Instead of Discourage - When we meet a woman who's on a sincere path to something she believes in, we can encourage her. Every woman is where she is on her financial journey based on what she needs to learn. When you discourage a woman from following her dream, if she gives up, she'll never know what she may have become
Practice the Art of Non-Judgement - When we judge another woman, we're assuming we know what it's like to walk in her shoes. No one truly knows what another person is going through and one word of encouragement may be all she needs to learn what she's truly capable of
Don't Assume - When you assume another woman already knows what you know, you take away the opportunity for a teachable moment (which could very possibly be the reason you connected). Likewise, don't assume that what you know is what she's ready to learn
There Are No "Chance Encounters" - Everyone comes into our life for a purpose; it's up to each of us to know the difference between something we're meant to learn or something someone is meant to learn from us. “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” ~ Lao Tzu
Create Relationships Instead of Connections - Every woman wants to be seen, heard, and valued for who she is. Social media gives us the opportunity to connect or create relationships. Connecting with the intent to see, hear and value a woman for who she is, allows both women to be authentically empowered
Share Your Story - when we share our story, we give other women the opportunity to know she's not alone in what she's experiencing. You never know how your success story (and what it took for you to get there) can imact another woman when she's having doubts about what she's capable of
Recognize and Eliminate Your Impostor Syndrome - (a psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud"). When you're constantly doubting who you are, you're also robbing others of what you're here to do. It's up to every woman to learn who she is, what she's here to do and why she's so fabulous. Every woman deserves to know her super powers and then be confident enough to share them with the world. You wouldn't have been given your gifts, talents and abilites if you weren't meant to share them with the world. When we teach what we've learned, we become better at what we do.
Life Is All About Choices - every woman who works to build another woman up, is giving herself and others the opportunity to sleep peacefully with the knowedge that she's never alone on this journey we call life!
Now is the perfect opportunity to be reminded that the Universe is the source of your supply and that EVERYTHING is possible!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Coach & Sensei
I like to imagine when my soul was choosing to incarnate into this lifetime, that God and I had a conversation about what my karmic journey would entail.
When God asked, “what will you choose as your life’s mission?”…
(because that’s not a decision I’d want to make on a whim!)
I’m sure I gave it careful consideration before I answered, “I want to remind women that it’s not what happens to them that matters; it’s what they do with what happens! I want to teach women that if they’ve been victimized, it does not make them a victim!
I want to remind women to never allow a past experience to determine their value.”
God smiled and asked me, “Are you sure? Are you sure that’s what you want to teach women?”
I looked at God in surprise and said, “of course. Don’t you think it’s important that women never think less of themselves just because another person forces their will on them?”
God smiled again and said, “of course I do. I want all of my daughters to know that nothing can ever take away their value!”
Feeling quite proud of my choice, I smiled up at God and said, “good, then I’m ready to get started!”
That’s when God smiled at me and said, “thank you for what you’re about to do.
I will make sure you always have everything you need to accomplish your mission during this lifetime.
The bigger the mission, the more tools you’ll need to succeed!
You know that once you’re born, this conversation will be like smoke lingering just out of your mind’s reach, as though you’re trying to recall something from a dream.
With the most determined voice I could muster, I smiled at God and said, “it’s ok, I know I can do this!”
And then I was born!
And God kept her word; she gave me everything I needed to succeed in my life’s mission.
God put me in a home with parents who made sure to victimize me. I was raised in an atmosphere of mental, physical and emotional abuse that escalated to sexual abuse by the age of 12.
As a child, I would sit and cry and ask God, “Why? Why me?”
As every cry for help went unanswered, I grew angrier.
I wanted revenge.
I wanted those people who were hurting me to know what it felt like.
I wanted to hurt them like they hurt me.
So, I learned to fight.
Until one day, I realized the fighting wasn’t helping me anymore.
Fighting kept me feeling angry, hurt, sad and trying to prove my worth.
That didn’t feel good.
😩I was so tired of being angry.
😩I was so tired of proving I was not a victim.
😩I was so tired of trying to hide from my past.
😩I was so tired of believing my past defined who I am.
😩I was so tired of feeling inferior.
😩I was so tired of living with the feelings associated with memories of my childhood.
At times, the pain was unbearable.
I longed for a softer, kinder and more peaceful way of life.
But I didn’t know how to find it and my life was becoming more painful every day.
One day, the pain was so overwhelming, I fell to my knees and cried out, “there must be another way.”
And that’s when I heard God’s voice.
That’s when I heard God say, “why are you crying daughter? Why are you in so much pain?”
With tears streaming down my face, I answered, “Life is not supposed to be this hard. I have heard so many people talk about Gods love, but where was your love when I needed it most?”
And God replied, “it’s inside you, where it’s always been.
Your struggles only happen when you search for my love outside of yourself, once you remember who you are, the need to learn through pain will end.
💖Remember who you are
💖Remember why you chose to be born and the mission you chose to teach
💖Remember the conversation we had when you chose this life
I have kept my promise to you
I have given you everything you need to teach women why they should never question their value.”
That’s when I realized that what I thought had been done TO me, had actually been done FOR me…
And because of that,
I’m here to remind women that…
“YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AS LONG AS YOU BELIEVE WHO YOU ARE, IS DETERMINED BY WHAT YOU’VE HAD TO GO THROUGH TO GET HERE.”
Stop looking for the answers outside of yourself,
Every answer you’re looking for can be found within you,
All you have to do is be open to remembering your own conversation and the mission you chose.
Remember who you are!
That’s when you too will know…
… you already have everything you need!
Instead of waiting for life to drive you to your knees, let me know if you need help remembering who you are, what you're here to do and why you're so fabulous!
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Coach and Sensei
There was a time when seeing myself as a survivor, made me feel good about myself!
But did I?
For one person to win, does another have to lose?
Growing up, our father used to grab my sister and I by the back of the neck, and force us to fight each other.
If we refused, he would beat the crap out of us.
In my mind, the decision was easy; fight my sister instead of feeling the wrath of our father...
I won every fight,
I believed I was the victor!
I got old enough to see what my victory had done to my sister.
Realizing she carried the emotional and physical scars that proved I was always the winner, started to have an adverse affect on me.
How could I be proud of who I am, when it also meant facing what I'd done to get here?
That's when the Impostor Syndrome started kicking my ass in a big way...
My Impostor Beliefs made me question everything:
✅Do I deserve to be happy?
✅Do I deserve to put the traumatic experiences of my childhood behind me and instead of allowing them to swallow me whole, start using them to heal myself and others?
✅Do I deserve to publish books about my journey as a way to heal myself and others?
✅Do I deserve to have an abundant life and lifestyle as I use my experiences to inspire, motivate and empower others?
✅Do I deserve to share My Story in a way that will continually remind me that, "it's not about what happened to me that matters, it's about what I do with what happened to me"?
✅Do I deserve to forgive myself for acting on the only knowledge I had at that time?
✅Do I deserve to shout to the world "I Love My Life"?
YOU BET YOUR ASS I DO!
When we overcome what others try to destroy; we create an inner strength so powerful, no person, place or experience can us tear down!
I know the power of getting out from under the belief that being victimized made me a victim.
People will inflict atrocities towards others to keep from looking at their own pain.
When we live our lives in victim and vengeance mode, our mind is never truly free. When our minds are not free, we continually tell ourselves "we aren’t good enough, smart enough, or talented enough" because what we’re actually doing is enforcing a belief that what happened, happened because we were too weak to prevent it; this makes us feel powerless.
Forgiveness begins within; forgiving our “SELF” for believing we have to stay in that mindset! This is the true power of forgiveness, this is the ability we all have, this is the inner strength that I am so passionate about teaching other women!
Whatever childhood experiences, memories and beliefs are holding you hostage; allowing them to have a hold over you is a choice.
When you're ready to break free of ANY limiting belief that the Impostor Syndrome is using to convince you of how "unworthy" you are...
When you're ready to say, "These self-sabotaging beliefs stop NOW"...
Make some noise in the comments below for my FREE eGuide on "Recognizing & Eliminating The Impostor Syndrome"
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Coach & Sensei for Women
Nancy Mueller ~ Life Sensei